mollz235's review
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Physical abuse, Suicide, and Infidelity
borrowmybookjacket's review
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
It's a great book, but Ng tells very human stories and that can weigh on you as you read sometimes. There are good resolutions ultimately, not much is left hanging except for I guess the potential of a relationship. It's a book that you can feel the hurt coming from, but you actually feel satisfied with it in the end. Not happy. Satisfied.
<spoilers>
I found it so easy to relate to everyone here. Not as much the father may be as much of his struggle was racial and let's be real, I'm a squishy white woman, but my parents have a strained dynamic, I have these kind of relationships at varying times with my mother, my father, and my siblings. I am the youngest, tip-toeing around and listening to what was happening in the house. Can't be noticed, won't be noticed. I am the ignored brother with unrealistic goals even though I was clearly working well toward them without people seeing. I am Lydia, struggling under pressure to be Good and Correct and Doing What Is Expected. My parents didn't know I didn't have friends like that and I clung to moments of attention. I think many folks have.
<spoilers>
I found it so easy to relate to everyone here. Not as much the father may be as much of his struggle was racial and let's be real, I'm a squishy white woman, but my parents have a strained dynamic, I have these kind of relationships at varying times with my mother, my father, and my siblings. I am the youngest, tip-toeing around and listening to what was happening in the house. Can't be noticed, won't be noticed. I am the ignored brother with unrealistic goals even though I was clearly working well toward them without people seeing. I am Lydia, struggling under pressure to be Good and Correct and Doing What Is Expected. My parents didn't know I didn't have friends like that and I clung to moments of attention. I think many folks have.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, Physical abuse, Violence, Suicide, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Racial slurs, and Infidelity
Minor: Murder, Vomit, Alcohol, and Blood
michaelion's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Heartbreaking in a way that makes you smile? Or maybe I'm just a little skewed. It's so real. The beauty of the writing style alone hooked me but the story? Too real. So painful. And despite everything that happens the family loves each other so much, in a bad, terrible, abusive and abused way, but as the title shows, none of them know how to tell each other that. None of them know how to be better to each other, but they all want to. I fucking love it.
Spoiler
There's a paragraph where mom is thinking about Lydia and how she can mold her future and everything her daughter is going to be that she couldn't and in the middle Hannah is mentioned, as mom is pregnant, and so quickly is she forgotten. She is sandwiched between Marilyn and Lydia, in story and in sentence, just barely acknowledged, but nothing more. That's only ONE example of the writing that had me hooked much earlier than that scene.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Abandonment, Racism, Racial slurs, Sexism, Xenophobia, Death, Bullying, Child abuse, Grief, and Infidelity
Moderate: Misogyny, Blood, Physical abuse, Body horror, Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Outing, Alcohol, Suicide, and Vomit
vedpears's review
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I think I have become a Celeste Ng fan girl now. The writing is beautiful and mesmerizing - such great storytelling! I disliked every character except Nathan and Hannah (spelling? I consumed this book via audiobook). Narcissists all around. I recognized so many scenarios from my own family dynamics and those of my friends'. I find it interesting that some reviews I have read said these characters weren't believable. I whole-heartedly disagree with that sentiment and am certain that those reviewers aren't paying attention to others in their lives, are like one of the parents in the book themselves, or live very fortunately charmed lives.
I think Celeste Ng does a great job threading context/ characters' histories into the current narrative. That story telling tool often irritates me but she does it so well that it doesn't feel like an interruption.
I think Celeste Ng does a great job threading context/ characters' histories into the current narrative. That story telling tool often irritates me but she does it so well that it doesn't feel like an interruption.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Child death, Grief, Racial slurs, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Racism, and Sexism
Moderate: Murder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Xenophobia, Suicide, Sexual content, and Pregnancy
Minor: Toxic friendship, Child abuse, Physical abuse, Alcohol, and Vomit
megmccreery's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
mysterious
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
This story opens with Lydia Lee, a 16 year old, in a small Ohio town, being found dead in a lake. The story explores everything that got Lydia and her family to this point, and how their whole family unit implodes with Lydia's death. There's generational trauma with the Lee parents projecting their wants, dreams, and desires that were never realized onto their favorite child, Lydia. There's two other kids in the Lee family, Nath and Hannah, and they have always been backburner children to Lydia. They have to find where they fit in in the family now that the star is gone.
I loved the discussion of not fitting in and being "different." James Lee was born from Chinese immigrants and has been the butt of racist jokes in all the Midwest towns he has lived in throughout his life. He dreams to fit in and have his kids fit in. Marilyn Lee is a woman who has always wanted to be different. She never wanted to have the husband, family, and white-picket home that her mother force-fed her her whole life. She wanted to become a rare female doctor in the 1960s.
The big question is: What happens when you just can't do it anymore? "It" meaning anything, a culmination of things, something you can't describe but only feel. The feeling of something suffocating you, holding you back, or maybe even the absence of feeling or feelings.
It did take me a minute to get into this book because Celeste Ng's writing is more complex and deeper than I'm used to reading, but it was such a heartbreaking, thought-provoking story. My heart hurt so much for all of the characters; I didn't think anyone's feelings or actions in reaction to their feelings were invalid. In conclusion, ouch my heart. Read this book.
I loved the discussion of not fitting in and being "different." James Lee was born from Chinese immigrants and has been the butt of racist jokes in all the Midwest towns he has lived in throughout his life. He dreams to fit in and have his kids fit in. Marilyn Lee is a woman who has always wanted to be different. She never wanted to have the husband, family, and white-picket home that her mother force-fed her her whole life. She wanted to become a rare female doctor in the 1960s.
The big question is: What happens when you just can't do it anymore? "It" meaning anything, a culmination of things, something you can't describe but only feel. The feeling of something suffocating you, holding you back, or maybe even the absence of feeling or feelings.
It did take me a minute to get into this book because Celeste Ng's writing is more complex and deeper than I'm used to reading, but it was such a heartbreaking, thought-provoking story. My heart hurt so much for all of the characters; I didn't think anyone's feelings or actions in reaction to their feelings were invalid. In conclusion, ouch my heart. Read this book.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Racism, Abandonment, Physical abuse, Xenophobia, Child abuse, Child death, Racial slurs, Infidelity, and Bullying
Minor: Suicide
juby_uwu's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
How had it begun? Like everything: with mothers and fathers. Because of Lydia's mother and father, because of her mother's and father's mothers and fathers.
TLDR; a broken world makes broken parents who produce broken children, but it is never too late to pick up the pieces and bond them back together
This book is not just that overused trope of "girl commits suicide, how does her family come to terms with it?" it is so much more. Celeste Ng's work of intertwining well-developed and ongoing themes of racism, the 70s Asian American experience, the nuances of generational trauma, dynamics of a broken family in her DEBUT novel is truly commendable. Her effortless use of such relatable and vivid metaphors to explain the thoughts and nuances of her dimensional characters, whilst also building up such tangible tension is the only reason I devoured this book in 2 days. Her characters are flawed and real, the perfect balance between ugly yet human. How she explores coping mechanisms and provides a new perspective to the trope of miscommunication--Everything I Never Told You, it is not just Lydia's story, honestly she is barely mentioned at all, it is instead each family member's sentiment towards each other. They all failed to tell each other things, therefore never healed, until they were forced to sit and face it after Lydia's death.
Spoiler
I need a Jack and Nath prologue asap
Content Warnings
Graphic: Physical abuse, Racism, and Suicide
melissathejan's review
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Second time reading this and I forgot how much I loved it. I feel such sadness for the characters as they grieve and long for things they will never have, and feel close to them as they make mistakes and eventually try to learn from them and forgive one another.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Suicide, Child death, Physical abuse, Racism, Emotional abuse, and Grief
Minor: Body horror
kelchisradz's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse and Physical abuse
anij020's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Blood, Death, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, Racial slurs, Racism, Suicide, Toxic friendship, Child death, and Misogyny
clarebear2218's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Really intense read that dives into grief, complicated family dynamics, and generational trauma. Felt extremely realistic. Don't think I could re-read this one
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Suicide, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
Minor: Vomit