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kamin8882's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and Gaslighting
Moderate: Genocide and Death of parent
kimb2's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
I didn’t enjoy this one as much as A Woman is no Man. I found this to be a long, drawn out, character study of a woman reflecting on her childhood trauma. For me, the execution falls short.
The story certainly tackles important issues such as the struggles of being a Palestinian woman, but I feel it is bogged down in the weight of the subject matter. The tension between Yara’s traditional upbringing and her desire for independence is a central theme, but at times, it seems as though the same issues are repeated without providing much growth and it left me wanting more. Then the story ended, just when a whole new storyline was appearing.
So, for me, this was just okay.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, and Racism
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts
ameliorater's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and Death of parent
Minor: Racism
clovetra's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
etaf rum has done it again. god she’s such an amazing storyteller.
if i was the type of reader to give half stars, this would 100% be a 4.5/5. alas i am too anal about my storygraph & goodreads ratings matching so here we are.
i’ll say the only real “downside” i found with this novel is from purely an enjoyment stance, yara becomes very repetitive in her dialogue, sometimes making this book feel like im just reading the same chapter over and over again. i understand it is likely a commentary on the generational trauma yara is experiencing, and the fact she literally points out many times how she feels like she is going in a circle and needs to break the cycle in her family. purely as a reader, it does become tiring and frustrating, but honestly im not too mad at it as i understand the reasons thematically for it. the book at times also felt slightly devoid of anything beyond yara. yes i know she’s the protag but literally i know nothing about her kids. yet again another commentary on how yara is in her head so much she literally cannot define her children’s personalities but as a reader i wanted more!
i really enjoyed rum’s depiction of mental illness in this book. it felt very realistic, and having read rum’s previous book, i was worried we would get another incredibly depressing ending, so im thankful that in some form things were looking up for yara. this book really did feel like an extension of themes introduced in ‘a woman is no man’ in the best way, where instead of just making the author feel the depths of despair with a downer ending, i like that in this story yara is beginning to break free from her traumas one step at a time. i also thoroughly adored her character development. honestly this book felt like it rectified everything “missing” within ‘a woman is no man’, and even then that book was absolute fire. and so was this.
the ending was quite cute too, and i’m very pleased this book didn’t give in to letting the protagonist suffer a tragic fate, and instead let her grow beyond what is expected of her.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, and War
Moderate: Infidelity, Panic attacks/disorders, Racism, and Sexism
yazzy_annalise's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I struggled a lot while reading this book. I went back and forth about how much I liked it or not. The first half of the book felt very slow to me, and I was frustrated by the main character's inner monologue. From the very beginning I knew she deserved better and it was really difficult getting through her character growth. HOWEVER, I do think it is so incredibly realistic to how inner healing and traumatized brains work.
Her character growth was slow and hard to get through because that is how it is in real life. Growth isn't entertaining and people make wrong and bad decisions on their journey's to be better people. The fact that she grew and knew what would ultimately be best for herself and for her children means so much more for Yara's journey. That's what she has been battling all this time: all of these expectations that were forced on her that she thinks defines who she is, when the reality is that she can make choices that will lead to a different life. She just has to be intentional about those choices. This shift in the story telling felt kind of abrupt and really quick at the end, but I can't be upset because I think the author ultimately ended the novel in such a perfect way. I thought the ending would feel rushed, but it felt very full circle. All of the previous entries made sense with just those last couple of pages.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone looking to support Arab and Palestinian authors but also need to read a fiction book. It really explores what it means to have fulfilling relationships and life in world that puts so many expectations on us.
Her character growth was slow and hard to get through because that is how it is in real life. Growth isn't entertaining and people make wrong and bad decisions on their journey's to be better people. The fact that she grew and knew what would ultimately be best for herself and for her children means so much more for Yara's journey. That's what she has been battling all this time: all of these expectations that were forced on her that she thinks defines who she is, when the reality is that she can make choices that will lead to a different life. She just has to be intentional about those choices. This shift in the story telling felt kind of abrupt and really quick at the end, but I can't be upset because I think the author ultimately ended the novel in such a perfect way. I thought the ending would feel rushed, but it felt very full circle. All of the previous entries made sense with just those last couple of pages.
Overall, I would recommend this book to anyone looking to support Arab and Palestinian authors but also need to read a fiction book. It really explores what it means to have fulfilling relationships and life in world that puts so many expectations on us.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Violence
Moderate: Genocide and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Infidelity and Death of parent
rberdan's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
This is the first book I've written by Etaf Rum. I can see from many other reviews that what is consistent about this author is her ability to bring the reader into the emotional reality of the character.
This story was a pretty deep dive into the internal and external life of Yara, a young wife and mother who holds the weight of cultural expectations while longing for a different path. It follows her experience with the judgment of others as she slowly begins to look within herself to see who she can become on the other side of grief and trauma. As a whole, that unravels in a way that feels very real (and aligned with some of my own experience), even if it is hard to be in the emotional places Yara has to go through in order to heal.
I think the moments I struggled with in the book come down to forgetting how young Yara is as she navigates life. Also, I think her husband's dismissive behaviour was really difficult to sit through; though it's not an excuse for how unkind he could be to his wife, I got the impression his behaviour had a lot to do with a combination of immaturity and also wanting a different path than his family and community would see him follow. I suspect because it was a good reflection of reality, I found some of the racism Yara experienced really hard to endure, and I'm white.
I appreciated seeing Yara find her own inner strength and how she got into real talk with her daughters so they could have a different experience than she did. I loved how her supportive friendship became such a lovely touchstone for her. I appreciated how the book treated her relationship with her mother, in particular the importance of understanding the role of a child vs. the role of a parent and the journey of forgiveness that can make way for so much healing. The ending was so wonderfully hopeful.
This was a hard and beautiful read. I think I would have rated this higher when I was in a life stage that more closely aligned with Yara's as I think I would have benefited from more insight than I was able to get from this book at this point in my life.
This story was a pretty deep dive into the internal and external life of Yara, a young wife and mother who holds the weight of cultural expectations while longing for a different path. It follows her experience with the judgment of others as she slowly begins to look within herself to see who she can become on the other side of grief and trauma. As a whole, that unravels in a way that feels very real (and aligned with some of my own experience), even if it is hard to be in the emotional places Yara has to go through in order to heal.
I think the moments I struggled with in the book come down to forgetting how young Yara is as she navigates life. Also, I think her husband's dismissive behaviour was really difficult to sit through; though it's not an excuse for how unkind he could be to his wife, I got the impression his behaviour had a lot to do with a combination of immaturity and also wanting a different path than his family and community would see him follow. I suspect because it was a good reflection of reality, I found some of the racism Yara experienced really hard to endure, and I'm white.
I appreciated seeing Yara find her own inner strength and how she got into real talk with her daughters so they could have a different experience than she did. I loved how her supportive friendship became such a lovely touchstone for her. I appreciated how the book treated her relationship with her mother, in particular the importance of understanding the role of a child vs. the role of a parent and the journey of forgiveness that can make way for so much healing. The ending was so wonderfully hopeful.
This was a hard and beautiful read. I think I would have rated this higher when I was in a life stage that more closely aligned with Yara's as I think I would have benefited from more insight than I was able to get from this book at this point in my life.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Gaslighting, and Colonisation
Moderate: Genocide, Infidelity, Grief, and Death of parent
theoceanrose's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Mental illness, Suicidal thoughts, and Gaslighting
Minor: Domestic abuse and War
megwilli's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Racism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts
thealmightykatt's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts and Death of parent
boop123's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
inspiring
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
A very poignant read that touches on the intricacies and complexities of motherhood, intergenerational trauma, being a woman of color, and living with a family with conservative values. I highlighted so many quotes on here so you know it’s good!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Racism, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, and Death of parent
Moderate: Deadnaming, Death, Genocide, Mental illness, and Colonisation