zac_johannes's review against another edition
5.0
Super engaging. Better than the first book in my opinion.
jordynlee's review against another edition
adventurous
mysterious
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
tatexeira's review against another edition
4.0
I am so conflicted with this book. I really love this story but the second one was not nearly as good as the first. This one took a long time to get rolling. I didn't mind the fact that they went back in time however I didn't like how they mentioned all these "historical" figures that I was expected to know. I also felt like they started to look for a witch to train her and look for Ashmole manuscript and then they would stop. I loved when they were at Sept-Tours and in London but I hated the part in Prague and I felt like she added a lot of elements that weren't necessary. I loved Diana's powers once they started to develop and of course I LOVE Diana and Matthew! I'm glad their relationship didn't suffer from going back in time Harkness definitely alluded to that in the end of the last book and I was worried. I think most people will be pleased with this one but now I really wanna finish the trilogy and I'll probably have to reread 1 and 2 before 3 comes out there is way too much detail! Overall liked it a lot and I will definitely finish the series!
slb80's review
mysterious
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
wetdryvac's review against another edition
3.0
I enjoyed it, despite the characters and the name dropping. Pretty sure it was cinder blocks keeping my disbelief suspended by the 2/3 mark. Fun/argh/fun/ARGH.
and_l's review against another edition
2.0
This book doesn’t know if it wants its characters to be intelligent people, or complete morons who live to weigh the plot down with their terrible decisions. I don’t think it's a good book but I can’t tell if I like it or hate it. I’ve been talking my family’s ears off about this book. Here’s a few of them:
They time travel with no plan. He has 1500 years of knowledge and she is a historian. If they put their heads together I’m sure they could’ve thought about a famous enough witch in the past that Diana could learn from; but no. They decide to throw spaghetti at the wall and wait to see what sticks.
Matt and Diana have all the passion of a wet paper towel until they start talking about modern-day smutty vampire literature, and then it goes away in the next scene. It takes until chapter 31 until Diana forces Matthew to communicate what he needs for their relationship to progress and Matthew becomes slightly tolerable again. He’s his own worst enemy. In the first book it was annoying, it's now past the point of intolerable.
I cannot, for the life of me, remember all of Matthew’s friends’ names. It’s impossible and I completely forgot about many of them until they cropped back up in the plot somewhere. On this note, I missed where Gallowglass went from hating Diana to being overprotective of her? Either my brain fell asleep or Bestie Debbie didn’t think it was important enough to include. Also, I hate this time travel mechanic where conveniently Old Matt disappears to make room (and plot convenience) for Modern Matt to come along. The tension is right there. Harkness wouldn’t have needed to shove pointless manufactured tension at us if Old Matt were floating around the world somewhere.
All this effort and we didn’t even get to read through a heist in Prague.
Jack and Annie are so adorable, they in addition to Philippe and Mary, bring joy into this slog of a read. Philippe is my favorite vampire dad and has big Pedro Pascal energy and was a highlight during my read.
This quote: “The past has changed us, why should we not change it too”, uttered only days after being warned that their time in the past could have dire impacts on the future.
If this book did not have enough faults, we get the lovely bury your gays trope.
I can clearly see how the author is setting up some big moves for the third book but it's looking like there are (too) many loose ends for her to wrap up by the end. THEY STILL HAVE NO PLAN?!
They time travel with no plan. He has 1500 years of knowledge and she is a historian. If they put their heads together I’m sure they could’ve thought about a famous enough witch in the past that Diana could learn from; but no. They decide to throw spaghetti at the wall and wait to see what sticks.
Matt and Diana have all the passion of a wet paper towel until they start talking about modern-day smutty vampire literature, and then it goes away in the next scene. It takes until chapter 31 until Diana forces Matthew to communicate what he needs for their relationship to progress and Matthew becomes slightly tolerable again. He’s his own worst enemy. In the first book it was annoying, it's now past the point of intolerable.
I cannot, for the life of me, remember all of Matthew’s friends’ names. It’s impossible and I completely forgot about many of them until they cropped back up in the plot somewhere. On this note, I missed where Gallowglass went from hating Diana to being overprotective of her? Either my brain fell asleep or Bestie Debbie didn’t think it was important enough to include. Also, I hate this time travel mechanic where conveniently Old Matt disappears to make room (and plot convenience) for Modern Matt to come along. The tension is right there. Harkness wouldn’t have needed to shove pointless manufactured tension at us if Old Matt were floating around the world somewhere.
All this effort and we didn’t even get to read through a heist in Prague.
Jack and Annie are so adorable, they in addition to Philippe and Mary, bring joy into this slog of a read. Philippe is my favorite vampire dad and has big Pedro Pascal energy and was a highlight during my read.
This quote: “The past has changed us, why should we not change it too”, uttered only days after being warned that their time in the past could have dire impacts on the future.
If this book did not have enough faults, we get the lovely bury your gays trope.
I can clearly see how the author is setting up some big moves for the third book but it's looking like there are (too) many loose ends for her to wrap up by the end. THEY STILL HAVE NO PLAN?!
disneydamsel1's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
informative
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.5
I didn't like this one as much as the Discovery of Witches. It was a lot of new characters/names/species to keep track of. I really wanted someone to kill Kit. He was so whiney and annoying.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Blood
jcborja85's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
perdidaenmismundos's review against another edition
1.0
A este libro ya no sé que nota ponerle ya que a su primera parte le puse dos estrellas , tenía la esperanza de que la historia mejorara pero al final ha ido de mal en peor y aún me falta la tercera parte para saber el desenlace de la historia.
No voy a poder contar mucho de la historia ya que es una segunda parte, pero si en la primera las lagunas en la historia eran muy visibles en esta segunda a empeorado.
Los capítulos siguen siendo muy largos aunque también puede ser que la historia se me haya hecho eterna y eso que estuve en una lectura conjunta, empezamos leyendo un capitulo diario y acabamos leyendo los últimos 4 que nos faltaban y el día anterior 3 por desesperación por terminarlo de una vez. Y porque no nos llegamos a entender porque las dos estábamos deseando terminarlo pero nos daba cosa obligarnos a leer mucho y que no tuviéramos tiempo para otros libros.
Creo que de las pocas cosas que salvan el libro es un personaje nuevo, que espero que aparezca en el siguiente libro porque sino menudo libro soporífero, Galosglaws. Me he reído mucho y no sé se porque, bueno supongo que por la descripción que dan el libro, me ha recordado todo el rato al salvaje de Juego de tronos. Así que durante todo el libro su cara ha sido la de ese actor.
Seguramente os preguntareis que porque sigo leyendo esta trilogía? pues es que soy muy cabezona y yo no puedo conocer unos personajes y dejar su vida así, en el aire. Si a veces con las que tienen un final necesito saber más o me gustaría imaginaros con las que dejo pausada y sin final.
Esta va a ser la reseña más corta de la vida pero es que tampoco tengo mucho más que decir, solo que solo espero no dejar el últimos sin estrellas porque sea aún peor. Solo pido que sea un poco más interesante. Y eso que esta parte ha trascurrido en el pasado, que a mi todo lo de época me encanta. Pues ni por esa se ha salvado.
¿Que si recomiendo el libro? Ni a mi peor enemigo. ¿Releer? Ni aunque fuera el único libro en el mundo. Soy muy dura pero es que he sufrido mucho con este libro. Que largo se ha hecho por dios.
No voy a poder contar mucho de la historia ya que es una segunda parte, pero si en la primera las lagunas en la historia eran muy visibles en esta segunda a empeorado.
Los capítulos siguen siendo muy largos aunque también puede ser que la historia se me haya hecho eterna y eso que estuve en una lectura conjunta, empezamos leyendo un capitulo diario y acabamos leyendo los últimos 4 que nos faltaban y el día anterior 3 por desesperación por terminarlo de una vez. Y porque no nos llegamos a entender porque las dos estábamos deseando terminarlo pero nos daba cosa obligarnos a leer mucho y que no tuviéramos tiempo para otros libros.
Creo que de las pocas cosas que salvan el libro es un personaje nuevo, que espero que aparezca en el siguiente libro porque sino menudo libro soporífero, Galosglaws. Me he reído mucho y no sé se porque, bueno supongo que por la descripción que dan el libro, me ha recordado todo el rato al salvaje de Juego de tronos. Así que durante todo el libro su cara ha sido la de ese actor.
Seguramente os preguntareis que porque sigo leyendo esta trilogía? pues es que soy muy cabezona y yo no puedo conocer unos personajes y dejar su vida así, en el aire. Si a veces con las que tienen un final necesito saber más o me gustaría imaginaros con las que dejo pausada y sin final.
Esta va a ser la reseña más corta de la vida pero es que tampoco tengo mucho más que decir, solo que solo espero no dejar el últimos sin estrellas porque sea aún peor. Solo pido que sea un poco más interesante. Y eso que esta parte ha trascurrido en el pasado, que a mi todo lo de época me encanta. Pues ni por esa se ha salvado.
¿Que si recomiendo el libro? Ni a mi peor enemigo. ¿Releer? Ni aunque fuera el único libro en el mundo. Soy muy dura pero es que he sufrido mucho con este libro. Que largo se ha hecho por dios.
pizzabrot's review against another edition
1.0
So this has turned out to be a monster review; but catharsis is a thing, and my soul feels less cleaner now. To be completely frank, this book deserves nothing, not even a rant, but I feel like the world should know about the torturous suffering I had to endure in achieving my feat of reading everything I get gifted by my parents – who I think do love me, even though their choice of books don’t show it.
I really thought the series couldn't possibly get any worse. I felt like the author already did everything wrong with book 1 that could've been done wrong. A textbook shitty novel so to say, worthy of being presented to creative writing students as a warning to never, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, let their writing come to this. Then again, I guess the books also represent hope that 1) literally everything can get published nowadays no matter the quality and 2) there's apparently room for editors at Penguin Books, since they didn't seem to have any to spare for Ms. Harkness. Anyway; if you think the quadrillion characters in book 1 weren’t enough, you’re lucky! There are EVEN MORE in books 2! The first chapter already starts with the introduction of the five guys belonging to The School of Night, all grown men acting like teenagers who are all but one almost completely indistinguishable from another. But really, you can’t expect an author to develop personalities for all of them, it’s just too much work! Those five are only the start, followed by countless other more or less pointless characters (most of them stolen from real life to satisfy weird fetishes of history nerds) whose main use is either that of being a plot instrument and/or bad caricatures of their real selves. If I were one of the historical people featured I would turn around in my grave and kill Ms. Harkness personally. She didn't spare anyone on her way to ruin history as much as possible: not Queen Elizabeth the whatever her number is because the author couldn't be bothered telling us, not Emperor Rudolph who flatteringly got portrayed as a stalkerish creep in need of a working brain, not any of the School of Night boyband constantly lingering around in Matthew's house because apparently they are homeless. That none of the respective people did rise from their grave to kill Ms. Harkness only proves the non-existence of either ghosts or justice.
Until writing this review, I’ve luckily managed to suppress almost all memories of book 2, so in order to still include most things that annoyed me (even though I could not possibly manage to discuss them all for lack of space and energy), I will resort to my notes that I took after finding out that pictures of the scenes would only ruin my camera roll. I will start with Matthew’s vampire father Philippe (and here the author simply can't decide if she wants to make him an ignorant, old-fashioned asshole or the kindest, smartest and most open-minded angel come down from heaven) who meets Diana with a rudeness and arrogance most annoyed-with-their-child‘s-choice-of-partner parents could take an example from. So why the hell does he, after just having been completely opposed to Diana to the point of refusing to accept their marital status (since they weren’t married according to vampire law) put her in charge of the household, a position of honor and importance, which would basically mean that he does respect her as Matthew’s wife after all? (which he didn’t at this point!) No one knows, and honestly I don't care anymore. It's just the kind of logical inconsistencies that makes you want to throw the book against the wall and wish that at least someone would have taken it on them to edit this book (thoroughly!!!). After realising that his son had apparently chosen his wife for her looks and not intelligence, Philippe decides to give Diana some piece of advice (aka the word of God) that is constantly mentioned throught book 2 and 3 and is treated like the most intelligent and unique thing that has ever been said by anyone: "Think, and stay alive". Who would have guessed? Apparently Diana, wo acts as if she has never considered the idea of thinking (and staying alive) earlier, which I can definitely confirm.
Then there‘s Pierre, a vampire servant treated worse than a piece of furniture. The book already started making a lot of sense when Matthew was all about "We need to keep the fact that we are from the future a secret" at the beginning and yet continued (in the very same scene!) blabbering about it in front of his two servants. I mean, it's not as if servants had a mind of their own anyway, or like, even the remote idea of betraying the couple to their countless amount of enemies, no way. Matthew can be grateful as hell that Pierre and the other servant have already lost their minds in service and can't be bothered leading Game of Thrones-style schemes at this point because they would have every reason to. Matthew's extremely honorable and imitation-worthy treatment is shown when in one of his angry moments, Pierre gets both his shoulders and elbow broken, bitten in the neck and flung against the next wall all in a matter of a few seconds, and NO ONE CARES. No one looks at him, no one goes to him to help, no one even acknowledges what happened, shortly: zero fucks are given about poor Pierre lying in his own blood. Naturally Matthew doesn’t apologize, because DUH. Diana then has the brilliant idea - after repeated warnings to not come closer when Matthew is in this state and the visible proof of Pierre lying around as a broken mess - of ignoring all that and approaching blood-raging Matthew anyway to prove...whatever, my guess is that of still being brainless. Then again, this was before Philippe gave her his infamous piece of advice of thinking and staying alive, so she really had no way of knowing. Obviously nothing happens to Diana because she's surrounded by the thickest plot armour possible, which only goes to show that if you're a lowly vampire servant you deserve getting thrown around, but if you're a stupid witch you're fine to approach someone in blood rage because LOVE IS STRONGER THAN EVERYTHING. As in Twilight, I strongly suspect that Ms Harkness is using her books to fulfill some (not so) secret (anymore) fantasy of hers, which would be that of an oh so rebellious and strong-seeming woman who enjoys getting bossed around by her man both in non-bed and bed situations; the latter being the prime example since Diana herself acknowledges that it's Matthew's way of asserting dominance. THANKFULLY THIS IS NOT PROBLEMATIC AT ALL and exactly the kind of relationships that the book’s target group of teenagers should read about . So, to every 14-year old who hasn't got the message after Twilight yet: if your guy manhandles you (another thing Diana admits, but finds totally sexy) and controls you in every way imaginable, it's totally only out of love!!! And because the poor guy is just very weak in his desires :( But after all, that's only your fault for being so attractive that he can’t suppress his cravings for your flesh, so I guess were any of you raped by a stranger, see it as a compliment and proof of you being wanted so much that you make men lose their minds. Isn’t that romantic??? Diana then gets pregnant in the book, because they both decide that their established two month's relationship is definitely ready for children. Sadly, in all their love-making Matthew happened to forget that they were still in the 16th century, so when Diana gets pregnant, Matthew is furious because the timing is really inconvenient. After him explaining his thoughts on how the general health standards for pregnant women in the 16th century leave something to be desired (one of his more lucid moments), Diana decides it’s time to throw a fit and insists on delivering her child in those very same substandard sanitary conditions all the same because, really, what could go wrong? It’s not as if she’s a historian or has a brain in need of using or anything! And never forget that Diana is a rebel! So it only makes sense to not rebel during Matthew’s "I'm a poor vampire and need to dominate you to the point that I decide when you are allowed to leave the house and with whom" trips but to do it instead when his talking stems from actual basic reason (something Diana's mind can't comprehend) and love and worry for both Diana's and her child's fate. Which immediately prompts Diana to be all about "You only care about the child, not about meeeee" That woman’s self-importance is truly awe-inspiring. She’s carrying a child, but still manages to only care for herself, because right now she’s finally learning magic, and a stupid child won’t ruin this self-finding journey for her! I bet Diana has read her fair share of self-help books…Diana then screams at Matthew that she isn’t a vessel, and poor guy doesn’t even know what to say, because as his wife has neither much personality nor brain, he really couldn’t be too sure of that. So skipping any more details, the book goes on and on, Diana loses her baby which was definitely not due to her choice to not return to the future, Matthew is being salty, and that makes Diana angry, because she’s totally chill about losing a child and why can’t Matthew, who as a human never really got over losing his child, just ignore that as well and go back to having sex with her? Diana feels generous in giving him an alloted grieving time of a couple days, but is then insulted and complains to her friends of how Matthew always looks at her with guilt in his eyes. I mean, how dare he, right??? LUCKILY, it turns out that Matthew – against all reasoning and human logics – doesn’t care about his dead child either, and is only angry because he wants to bite Diana and drink the blood near her heart, which is how he could get to know all her secrets; in his obsession he simply needs to know Diana's every thought or else he becomes a grumpy toddler (totally romantic too). Of course, there was the danger of killing Diana in the process, but he really should’ve just asked earlier because as soon as Diana hears the word danger and another opportunity to throw caution to the wind (and being a slave to Matthew in the process), she immediately bares her breast and urges him to get the job done so they can finally have an honest relationship (because, guys, an honest relationship is ONLY if you tell your partner everything that’s on your mind. It’s healthy to have nothing left that only belongs to you, I swear). So after having reached this new level of problematic, Diana merrily continues her journey of learning how to explore her magic. Not that her weaving knots is written in a way that would be even remotely understandable to a reader, but I have long given up on the magic part making sense. Just accept that Diana is an all-powerful witch and that she can do everything, and if that means she has to run around with a spell box full of cords that need to be knotted, so be it! Together with her teacher, Diana discovers that her magic is related to her needs and desires, which is DEFINITELY NOT SOMETHING MATTHEW HAS ALREADY CONCLUDED IN BOOK 1, SO LET’S TREAT THIS AS SOME PIECE OF MIND-BLOWING NEWS. Some time later, it appears that Diana, our very own Mary Jane, is simply too beautiful to not have Emperor Rudolf fall in love with her and so he sends her presents in order to one day get his shining moment of touching her inappropriately (which, when it happens, Diana decides is no big deal because why not let gross men touch your chest if you can get something out of it? She would make such a good prostitute) So, when at home Diana sees present no. 1, she wonders about the content of the parcel and feels for its outlines, only to determine with the brain power of Sherlock Holmes that it isn‘t a book. Some sentences later it comes out that it’s actually a two-foot-tall statue. YEAH I WOULD RECKON THAT A TWO-FOOT-BIG ODD-SHAPED LOOKING PARCEL PROBABLY WON’T BE A BOOK! But rather than using her eyes and brain, Diana took her time finding that out. How is no one ever questioning this woman’s intelligence?! Diana decides to not even remotely worry about Rudolf’s infatuation because: „Who cares if Rudolf stares at my breasts?“ Matthew is impressed by this logic and decides it’s not time for one of his vampire-rage-moments against creepiness. Towards the blessed ending of the book, Diana and Matthew manage to stumble upon Diana’s dead dad (still alive at this point, not literally stumbling over his body). But that’s okay! Diana’s time-travelling dad just coincidentally happens to be on vacation in the very exact year and place as the couple! Diana is totally chill to meet her father because as she’s the heroine of the book, weird things constantly have to happen to distract from the fact that Diana herself has nothing going for her, otherwise we’d have to read about Diana’s choice of yoga pants again and again. Therfore, one of her dead parents just had to make an appearance. Her father is calm about this meeting as well, because even though in his own time Diana is still a baby, it’s not unusual to stumble upon her grown self in the 16th century. These things just happen okay! But the family reunion doesn’t go as heart-warming as Diana would’ve preferred, seeing as her father isn’t really interested in talking to her. Instead he lounges around with Shakespeare and parties at Midsummer Eve just so he doesn’t have to spend time with his daughter (not a joke, the guy even admits to it. And really, who can blame him). So after some enlightening conversations about baseball, calling Diana fake ("Try being real for a change“) and telling Matthew and Diana off because they were ruining the past by staying too long and interfering too much, Diana’s dad leaves without giving any fuck whatsoever about a sentimental goodbye to his daughter (who lost him at an early age), instead resorting to a simple "Catch you on the flip side, baby“. Diana then decides to end the book by ignoring her dad’s warnings by even more interfering with the past, but that’s fine because 16th century scientists don’t know about the importance of marketing yet and it’s not possible that someone could simply not care about publishing or having his name known in the future. So Diana takes it on herself to help the poor guy (who only wants to pursue his interests and nothing more) to the fame he would receive in some hundred years give or take, and I’m sure his future corpse cared deeply for that. No way Diana was doing that just to feel better about herself.
I really felt like the author had to make stuff happening just for the sake of something happening, introducing new character on every step of the way, but nothing really had any impact. So they find the Book of Life they were looking for, and then leave it behind anyway. It’s just all so useless! Things happen, but nobody would have cared if they didn’t. Only the book would’ve been shorter… wouldn’t that have been a blessing. Being as it is, I barely made it out alive. I wish I had never read this :(
I really thought the series couldn't possibly get any worse. I felt like the author already did everything wrong with book 1 that could've been done wrong. A textbook shitty novel so to say, worthy of being presented to creative writing students as a warning to never, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, let their writing come to this. Then again, I guess the books also represent hope that 1) literally everything can get published nowadays no matter the quality and 2) there's apparently room for editors at Penguin Books, since they didn't seem to have any to spare for Ms. Harkness. Anyway; if you think the quadrillion characters in book 1 weren’t enough, you’re lucky! There are EVEN MORE in books 2! The first chapter already starts with the introduction of the five guys belonging to The School of Night, all grown men acting like teenagers who are all but one almost completely indistinguishable from another. But really, you can’t expect an author to develop personalities for all of them, it’s just too much work! Those five are only the start, followed by countless other more or less pointless characters (most of them stolen from real life to satisfy weird fetishes of history nerds) whose main use is either that of being a plot instrument and/or bad caricatures of their real selves. If I were one of the historical people featured I would turn around in my grave and kill Ms. Harkness personally. She didn't spare anyone on her way to ruin history as much as possible: not Queen Elizabeth the whatever her number is because the author couldn't be bothered telling us, not Emperor Rudolph who flatteringly got portrayed as a stalkerish creep in need of a working brain, not any of the School of Night boyband constantly lingering around in Matthew's house because apparently they are homeless. That none of the respective people did rise from their grave to kill Ms. Harkness only proves the non-existence of either ghosts or justice.
Until writing this review, I’ve luckily managed to suppress almost all memories of book 2, so in order to still include most things that annoyed me (even though I could not possibly manage to discuss them all for lack of space and energy), I will resort to my notes that I took after finding out that pictures of the scenes would only ruin my camera roll. I will start with Matthew’s vampire father Philippe (and here the author simply can't decide if she wants to make him an ignorant, old-fashioned asshole or the kindest, smartest and most open-minded angel come down from heaven) who meets Diana with a rudeness and arrogance most annoyed-with-their-child‘s-choice-of-partner parents could take an example from. So why the hell does he, after just having been completely opposed to Diana to the point of refusing to accept their marital status (since they weren’t married according to vampire law) put her in charge of the household, a position of honor and importance, which would basically mean that he does respect her as Matthew’s wife after all? (which he didn’t at this point!) No one knows, and honestly I don't care anymore. It's just the kind of logical inconsistencies that makes you want to throw the book against the wall and wish that at least someone would have taken it on them to edit this book (thoroughly!!!). After realising that his son had apparently chosen his wife for her looks and not intelligence, Philippe decides to give Diana some piece of advice (aka the word of God) that is constantly mentioned throught book 2 and 3 and is treated like the most intelligent and unique thing that has ever been said by anyone: "Think, and stay alive". Who would have guessed? Apparently Diana, wo acts as if she has never considered the idea of thinking (and staying alive) earlier, which I can definitely confirm.
Then there‘s Pierre, a vampire servant treated worse than a piece of furniture. The book already started making a lot of sense when Matthew was all about "We need to keep the fact that we are from the future a secret" at the beginning and yet continued (in the very same scene!) blabbering about it in front of his two servants. I mean, it's not as if servants had a mind of their own anyway, or like, even the remote idea of betraying the couple to their countless amount of enemies, no way. Matthew can be grateful as hell that Pierre and the other servant have already lost their minds in service and can't be bothered leading Game of Thrones-style schemes at this point because they would have every reason to. Matthew's extremely honorable and imitation-worthy treatment is shown when in one of his angry moments, Pierre gets both his shoulders and elbow broken, bitten in the neck and flung against the next wall all in a matter of a few seconds, and NO ONE CARES. No one looks at him, no one goes to him to help, no one even acknowledges what happened, shortly: zero fucks are given about poor Pierre lying in his own blood. Naturally Matthew doesn’t apologize, because DUH. Diana then has the brilliant idea - after repeated warnings to not come closer when Matthew is in this state and the visible proof of Pierre lying around as a broken mess - of ignoring all that and approaching blood-raging Matthew anyway to prove...whatever, my guess is that of still being brainless. Then again, this was before Philippe gave her his infamous piece of advice of thinking and staying alive, so she really had no way of knowing. Obviously nothing happens to Diana because she's surrounded by the thickest plot armour possible, which only goes to show that if you're a lowly vampire servant you deserve getting thrown around, but if you're a stupid witch you're fine to approach someone in blood rage because LOVE IS STRONGER THAN EVERYTHING. As in Twilight, I strongly suspect that Ms Harkness is using her books to fulfill some (not so) secret (anymore) fantasy of hers, which would be that of an oh so rebellious and strong-seeming woman who enjoys getting bossed around by her man both in non-bed and bed situations; the latter being the prime example since Diana herself acknowledges that it's Matthew's way of asserting dominance. THANKFULLY THIS IS NOT PROBLEMATIC AT ALL and exactly the kind of relationships that the book’s target group of teenagers should read about . So, to every 14-year old who hasn't got the message after Twilight yet: if your guy manhandles you (another thing Diana admits, but finds totally sexy) and controls you in every way imaginable, it's totally only out of love!!! And because the poor guy is just very weak in his desires :( But after all, that's only your fault for being so attractive that he can’t suppress his cravings for your flesh, so I guess were any of you raped by a stranger, see it as a compliment and proof of you being wanted so much that you make men lose their minds. Isn’t that romantic??? Diana then gets pregnant in the book, because they both decide that their established two month's relationship is definitely ready for children. Sadly, in all their love-making Matthew happened to forget that they were still in the 16th century, so when Diana gets pregnant, Matthew is furious because the timing is really inconvenient. After him explaining his thoughts on how the general health standards for pregnant women in the 16th century leave something to be desired (one of his more lucid moments), Diana decides it’s time to throw a fit and insists on delivering her child in those very same substandard sanitary conditions all the same because, really, what could go wrong? It’s not as if she’s a historian or has a brain in need of using or anything! And never forget that Diana is a rebel! So it only makes sense to not rebel during Matthew’s "I'm a poor vampire and need to dominate you to the point that I decide when you are allowed to leave the house and with whom" trips but to do it instead when his talking stems from actual basic reason (something Diana's mind can't comprehend) and love and worry for both Diana's and her child's fate. Which immediately prompts Diana to be all about "You only care about the child, not about meeeee" That woman’s self-importance is truly awe-inspiring. She’s carrying a child, but still manages to only care for herself, because right now she’s finally learning magic, and a stupid child won’t ruin this self-finding journey for her! I bet Diana has read her fair share of self-help books…Diana then screams at Matthew that she isn’t a vessel, and poor guy doesn’t even know what to say, because as his wife has neither much personality nor brain, he really couldn’t be too sure of that. So skipping any more details, the book goes on and on, Diana loses her baby which was definitely not due to her choice to not return to the future, Matthew is being salty, and that makes Diana angry, because she’s totally chill about losing a child and why can’t Matthew, who as a human never really got over losing his child, just ignore that as well and go back to having sex with her? Diana feels generous in giving him an alloted grieving time of a couple days, but is then insulted and complains to her friends of how Matthew always looks at her with guilt in his eyes. I mean, how dare he, right??? LUCKILY, it turns out that Matthew – against all reasoning and human logics – doesn’t care about his dead child either, and is only angry because he wants to bite Diana and drink the blood near her heart, which is how he could get to know all her secrets; in his obsession he simply needs to know Diana's every thought or else he becomes a grumpy toddler (totally romantic too). Of course, there was the danger of killing Diana in the process, but he really should’ve just asked earlier because as soon as Diana hears the word danger and another opportunity to throw caution to the wind (and being a slave to Matthew in the process), she immediately bares her breast and urges him to get the job done so they can finally have an honest relationship (because, guys, an honest relationship is ONLY if you tell your partner everything that’s on your mind. It’s healthy to have nothing left that only belongs to you, I swear). So after having reached this new level of problematic, Diana merrily continues her journey of learning how to explore her magic. Not that her weaving knots is written in a way that would be even remotely understandable to a reader, but I have long given up on the magic part making sense. Just accept that Diana is an all-powerful witch and that she can do everything, and if that means she has to run around with a spell box full of cords that need to be knotted, so be it! Together with her teacher, Diana discovers that her magic is related to her needs and desires, which is DEFINITELY NOT SOMETHING MATTHEW HAS ALREADY CONCLUDED IN BOOK 1, SO LET’S TREAT THIS AS SOME PIECE OF MIND-BLOWING NEWS. Some time later, it appears that Diana, our very own Mary Jane, is simply too beautiful to not have Emperor Rudolf fall in love with her and so he sends her presents in order to one day get his shining moment of touching her inappropriately (which, when it happens, Diana decides is no big deal because why not let gross men touch your chest if you can get something out of it? She would make such a good prostitute) So, when at home Diana sees present no. 1, she wonders about the content of the parcel and feels for its outlines, only to determine with the brain power of Sherlock Holmes that it isn‘t a book. Some sentences later it comes out that it’s actually a two-foot-tall statue. YEAH I WOULD RECKON THAT A TWO-FOOT-BIG ODD-SHAPED LOOKING PARCEL PROBABLY WON’T BE A BOOK! But rather than using her eyes and brain, Diana took her time finding that out. How is no one ever questioning this woman’s intelligence?! Diana decides to not even remotely worry about Rudolf’s infatuation because: „Who cares if Rudolf stares at my breasts?“ Matthew is impressed by this logic and decides it’s not time for one of his vampire-rage-moments against creepiness. Towards the blessed ending of the book, Diana and Matthew manage to stumble upon Diana’s dead dad (still alive at this point, not literally stumbling over his body). But that’s okay! Diana’s time-travelling dad just coincidentally happens to be on vacation in the very exact year and place as the couple! Diana is totally chill to meet her father because as she’s the heroine of the book, weird things constantly have to happen to distract from the fact that Diana herself has nothing going for her, otherwise we’d have to read about Diana’s choice of yoga pants again and again. Therfore, one of her dead parents just had to make an appearance. Her father is calm about this meeting as well, because even though in his own time Diana is still a baby, it’s not unusual to stumble upon her grown self in the 16th century. These things just happen okay! But the family reunion doesn’t go as heart-warming as Diana would’ve preferred, seeing as her father isn’t really interested in talking to her. Instead he lounges around with Shakespeare and parties at Midsummer Eve just so he doesn’t have to spend time with his daughter (not a joke, the guy even admits to it. And really, who can blame him). So after some enlightening conversations about baseball, calling Diana fake ("Try being real for a change“) and telling Matthew and Diana off because they were ruining the past by staying too long and interfering too much, Diana’s dad leaves without giving any fuck whatsoever about a sentimental goodbye to his daughter (who lost him at an early age), instead resorting to a simple "Catch you on the flip side, baby“. Diana then decides to end the book by ignoring her dad’s warnings by even more interfering with the past, but that’s fine because 16th century scientists don’t know about the importance of marketing yet and it’s not possible that someone could simply not care about publishing or having his name known in the future. So Diana takes it on herself to help the poor guy (who only wants to pursue his interests and nothing more) to the fame he would receive in some hundred years give or take, and I’m sure his future corpse cared deeply for that. No way Diana was doing that just to feel better about herself.
I really felt like the author had to make stuff happening just for the sake of something happening, introducing new character on every step of the way, but nothing really had any impact. So they find the Book of Life they were looking for, and then leave it behind anyway. It’s just all so useless! Things happen, but nobody would have cared if they didn’t. Only the book would’ve been shorter… wouldn’t that have been a blessing. Being as it is, I barely made it out alive. I wish I had never read this :(