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aimeereadsthebooks's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
slow-paced
5.0
iratner's review against another edition
5.0
I can't remember a time I've read a book so raw and honest! Asha Bandele's writing is so smooth, so fluid, the reader can almost hear her breaths. This book takes you beyond anything you'd have thought a marriage to a prisoner would be. It's powerful, provocative, and so incredibly honest. I didn't want it to end-- a must-read for all!
library_lurker's review against another edition
5.0
this book is eloquent, gripping, heartbreaking, written in short poetic chapters that get their point across beautifully. i would recommend it to anyone who's ever loved anyone, in any way, who's incarcerated. i would even recommend it to those who have not. it is addictive, it is necessary, it is vital.
melanatedreader's review against another edition
4.0
A tell all. Like forreal. Sis didn’t leave nothing out about this experience
florinereads's review against another edition
4.0
It's such a beautifully written love story. Asha Bandele is a poet.
The author describes her falling in love, the conjugal visits and the pain and difficulties to be away from one another. But it also goes beyond that, it's an introspection on her own life and an honest portrait of the choices she has to make.
When she falls in love, it unlocks her past, and she is brutally honest about it -.
At no point she denies that her husband has committed a murder, and that he's in prison for a reason - but it doesn't change the fact that she fell in love with him, and that the absence is unbearable. I did feel like she was honest with her natural instincts of wanting to be with him.
I didn't question her choices, because this book is simply very human.
Having said that, I listened to the audio (fantastic), and it may give a different vibe than the book.
The author describes her falling in love, the conjugal visits and the pain and difficulties to be away from one another. But it also goes beyond that, it's an introspection on her own life and an honest portrait of the choices she has to make.
When she falls in love, it unlocks her past, and she is brutally honest about it -
Spoiler
her descriptions of the abuse are raw, tough and gut wrenching. When she gets pregnant, she does make a choice and has to live with itAt no point she denies that her husband has committed a murder, and that he's in prison for a reason - but it doesn't change the fact that she fell in love with him, and that the absence is unbearable. I did feel like she was honest with her natural instincts of wanting to be with him.
I didn't question her choices, because this book is simply very human.
Having said that, I listened to the audio (fantastic), and it may give a different vibe than the book.
naturalnyla's review against another edition
3.0
This is a beautifully written unconventional love story. It’s not a fairy tale love. But it is real and deep and full. I believe we all aspire to love and be loved like these two love one another. I enjoyed the poetic nature of her writing. However, the story is flat and unclimactic.
laura_pc's review against another edition
2.0
This book is the reason why poets should not write books. There was a lot of description about how she felt and their love. I wanted more story: A description of the trailer where they had conjugal visits, how the prison controlled everything, how they organized and dealt with the prison rules to communicate.
morgangrace28's review against another edition
5.0
Asha's poetic language grips you from the beginning and leaves you in the end with a broken heart. I wish I could find information to find out what happened after the book was published. This book has not received the praise it deserves, and it should be on the top of any feminist's list of must reads
spoko's review against another edition
5.0
I don't even know where to begin describing this book. It's absolutely stunning. One of my all-time favorite books, and one of very few that I would give a perfect ‘10' to.
All I knew going in was the basic blurb: asha bandele met, fell in love with, and eventually married a man who is doing 20 to life for murder. This is the story of that relationship. It sounded interesting, though honestly I wasn't sure I'd even bother finishing the book. I had high hopes, but they weren't based on much and I knew I could easily be disappointed. But the writing is so powerful and direct, you cannot help but sink into bandele's story. It's so much more than the story of a woman who fell in love against all odds. bandele writes with such insight and honesty, and you find yourself moving through love, power, struggle, heartbreak, joy, hope, misery, sex, birth, death, discovery, and hundreds of other states. The story is relentless, and yet flows with absolute grace.
I'm not doing it justice, but what a stunning book. Seriously, I'm almost speechless with its beauty. Of course, I would recommend it to just about anyone. With one slight caveat, and it's not a fault with the book in my opinion, but it's something I'd add to the recommendation. That is that several people have mentioned when they started this book that they didn't think they'd finish it because her writing is just too . . . much. Too poetic or too flowery or something. I noticed that as well. And I can't say that it lost that as the book went on, but after a while you see that it really works. She talks about some really intense things in the book, and her style of writing really helps carry it without getting too mired down. So I guess I'd just say this: If all that's bothering you is her writing style, keep reading. I think you'll find that you're enjoying the book by the time you're halfway through at least.
All I knew going in was the basic blurb: asha bandele met, fell in love with, and eventually married a man who is doing 20 to life for murder. This is the story of that relationship. It sounded interesting, though honestly I wasn't sure I'd even bother finishing the book. I had high hopes, but they weren't based on much and I knew I could easily be disappointed. But the writing is so powerful and direct, you cannot help but sink into bandele's story. It's so much more than the story of a woman who fell in love against all odds. bandele writes with such insight and honesty, and you find yourself moving through love, power, struggle, heartbreak, joy, hope, misery, sex, birth, death, discovery, and hundreds of other states. The story is relentless, and yet flows with absolute grace.
I'm not doing it justice, but what a stunning book. Seriously, I'm almost speechless with its beauty. Of course, I would recommend it to just about anyone. With one slight caveat, and it's not a fault with the book in my opinion, but it's something I'd add to the recommendation. That is that several people have mentioned when they started this book that they didn't think they'd finish it because her writing is just too . . . much. Too poetic or too flowery or something. I noticed that as well. And I can't say that it lost that as the book went on, but after a while you see that it really works. She talks about some really intense things in the book, and her style of writing really helps carry it without getting too mired down. So I guess I'd just say this: If all that's bothering you is her writing style, keep reading. I think you'll find that you're enjoying the book by the time you're halfway through at least.