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iixxii's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
Genuinely, I feel like the best parts of this book was when it was from the perspective of anyone but the FMC. The FMC comes off to me a little 2D and lacks the emotional baggage that comes from her backstory.
The brother’s POV was a lot more interesting and his character development was truly enjoyable to read where the FMC’s fell flat to me. The dad’s character development was also gratifying but I also loved how the author depicted how broken relationships is hard to fix even if you wanted to change. I wished we could have gotten more POV from them both.
In the end, the true starring character is Kellan Marchetti. And the name drop was 🥲💔
The brother’s POV was a lot more interesting and his character development was truly enjoyable to read where the FMC’s fell flat to me. The dad’s character development was also gratifying but I also loved how the author depicted how broken relationships is hard to fix even if you wanted to change. I wished we could have gotten more POV from them both.
In the end, the true starring character is Kellan Marchetti. And the name drop was 🥲💔
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, and Suicide attempt
Moderate: Alcoholism and Emotional abuse
rubellaface's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
I read this novel without really reading the synopsis. I just knew I liked books by this author. And my god, while I wouldn't recommend doing that if you're faint of heart, this novel gut punched me. Haymaker to the heart. I was not okay.
Then together with our FMC, we learned to grieve and heal and try to make the best of things.
The author has a magical way with words, and having a novel within a novel takes the reader on a journey through the neuroses of being a writer and the power words have within and without the author's intention.
And somewhere along the way we also get to fall in love with older brother Tate-- a man we've been groomed to hate from the beginning and an OBGYN who made me regret for a split second choosing to have only female gynos in my life. But like all main characters in a Parker S Huntington novel, there's more to him than meets the eye, and like all of us, he's a little broken inside too.
I loved this novel. I loved Tate and Charlie. I still love Kellan. And I'm going to look closer at those I love and check in more. Just in case.
Then together with our FMC, we learned to grieve and heal and try to make the best of things.
The author has a magical way with words, and having a novel within a novel takes the reader on a journey through the neuroses of being a writer and the power words have within and without the author's intention.
And somewhere along the way we also get to fall in love with older brother Tate-- a man we've been groomed to hate from the beginning and an OBGYN who made me regret for a split second choosing to have only female gynos in my life. But like all main characters in a Parker S Huntington novel, there's more to him than meets the eye, and like all of us, he's a little broken inside too.
I loved this novel. I loved Tate and Charlie. I still love Kellan. And I'm going to look closer at those I love and check in more. Just in case.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Child abuse, Child death, Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Fire/Fire injury, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Child abuse, Eating disorder, Hate crime, Infertility, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, and Classism
Minor: Sexism, Vomit, and Stalking
kittens_say_meoww's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Where to begin, maybe by addressing the very few things I didn’t like. This book is…devastating. I cried often. It’s so well done and not at all what I expected. I will be buying a physical copy to cherish. The biggest cons are the HEA epilogue and the marketing both of which come off as cheap and inauthentic. This is marketed as romance and I suppose it technically is. However, it’s more apt to say it’s about grief, and flawed humans, and complexity of the human experience. It’s a book within a book. Why this story is marketed as dark romance is beyond me. It’s not “spicy” as it’s marketed and intimate scenes (albeit one) seem pretty authentic to everyday life. The cover(s) don’t represent the story, at all. It doesn’t even match the description of any of the characters. Moving on, some reviews mention the length of this book. And I can see that for a “best friends brother romance” it would seem long. But, as I’ve said that’s not actually a good description of the book in the first place. That being said, it feels like the ending was rushed. Without spoiling, it’s the classic everything sucks and is pulled together in the last chapter and the bow is the HEA 5 page epilogue. I hate thattt and in this particular story it cheapened it. Some of the angst in the middle (particularly as it pertains to Terri) could have been cut out to give more attention to a more authentic ending that honored all that the main characters had been through. All in all, I loved this book and it will be hard to move away from. I desperately wish I knew someone that had read it so I could talk about it with them. Best of luck, it won’t be what you expect it to be if tiktok sent you to it. Please realize it’s a messy, devastating, not overly exaggerated story of broken families and trauma and death. Even though it betrays some plot points, please check triggers if you’re sensitive to almost anything.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Death, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Fire/Fire injury, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail
dafefa's review against another edition
medium-paced
5.0
I don’t have enough words to say how much I love this book. I know it has some problematic subjects and themes but to me it worked as a almost healing process.
Sometimes we all feel guilty about things we can’t control and see all the different perspectives off life and it’s circumstances, see that no one it’s guilty but we are all responsible for our acts and need to be hold accountable for them, and news flash: by ourselves, because it’s no one job but ours to really understand our faults.
And yes, the smut it’s incredible 🤣
About the characters, I live for complicated minds, cat and mouse relationships. So this was a chefs kiss experience.
Sometimes we all feel guilty about things we can’t control and see all the different perspectives off life and it’s circumstances, see that no one it’s guilty but we are all responsible for our acts and need to be hold accountable for them, and news flash: by ourselves, because it’s no one job but ours to really understand our faults.
And yes, the smut it’s incredible 🤣
About the characters, I live for complicated minds, cat and mouse relationships. So this was a chefs kiss experience.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child death, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, and Death of parent
Moderate: Cursing, Domestic abuse, Drug use, and Emotional abuse
Minor: Bullying
lianareadss's review
challenging
dark
emotional
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
⚠️TW// SUICIDE, STILL BIRTH, SH, DEPRESSION, FIRE — potential spoilers ⚠️
i've read positive and negative reviews on this book and there were a lot of opinions i agreed and disagreed with,, here's my personal opinion on all the different topics covered in this book. i want to start with the fact that this is not a romance book; the romance is a subplot. people who are promoting it as one are so wrong 😭
to begin with the suicide/mental health aspect, a lot of people were saying it was romanticized, but i honestly didn't see it. in my opinion, i think this book showed a realistic situation of teenage depression and suicide. the whole emo/goth stereotype was unnecessary or more like overdone bc it sets a bad impression on people who dress or present themselves in that style but aren't depressed or suicidal. the reasons kellan chose to do it might not seem realistic to everyone reading the book, bc through communication and therapy it might have gotten better. i want to note that kellan was an addict. other than his mental illnesses, he took heavy drugs at such a young age and that alone can heavily fuck with someone's brain. depression is much more complex though and mental illness can be so overbearing and difficult, one's decisions can get blurry. as much as the people who loved kellan wanted to help, no one could have saved him but himself. this book portrayed a worst case scenario. you see how it affects your loved ones and how much there is that kellan could've lived for, but chose not to. no matter what though, suicide is never ever the answer. if you are having suicidal ideation, please reach out to trusted ones, a suicide hotline or call 911. no matter what you're going through, your life is so important and you're worth SO much.
next, i loved how the author represented so many different types of complicated familial relationships. leah and charlotte, terry and tate, kellan and his entire family,, all of them were such great stories. through leah and charlotte's troubled past, the author showed how much an older sibling can sacrifice for their younger sibling <i>because</i> they love them, and yet those sacrifices can bring upon so much resentment for all that they've lost for others. i do think leah should've worked on her relationship with charlotte sooner, because what had happened wasn't charlotte's fault, and that reality check tate gave leah was one of the very few situations i applauded him in. through terry, the author showed how catastrophic addiction can be on families. they can cause so much damage that is so hard to repair, maybe even irreversible.
lastly, i wanna touch on the romance. honestly??? if kellan was alive, he would have despised both of them for getting together. it is absolutely NOT what he would have wanted and i bet he's haunting them from the grave <s>as he should</s>. also it was so fucking weird when charlotte walked in on tate and JUST KEPT WATCHING?????? THAT WAS SO CREEPY!!!!!! that ob-gyn scene was so embarrassing i literally felt the second hand embarrassment in my chest. i get the fantasy, but it was SO POORLY EXECUTED 😭😭😭 i liked the fact that charlotte and tate helped each other get through their grief, but tate is such an asshole and charlotte's savior complex is so annoying. when a guy tells u he's going to hurt you, YOU BELIEVE HIM!!!! it's not your responsibility to fix or save a grown man, let alone a whole ass DOCTOR. you can be there for him, but you can't change him. also i hate age gaps and this book did NOTHING to change that. he called her a kid more than once then spoke about how horny he was for her and that is honestly so predatory to me. they were also so inconsistent; if they had just communicated properly, all would have been well.
regardless of its flaws, this book was <i>really</i> good. i loved kellan and i loved leah and i loved how grief was portrayed in such a complex manner and showed all the ups and downs that one goes through as they heal from all types of grief and inner child wounds. it is such a well written book if you minus the romance 🥴
i've read positive and negative reviews on this book and there were a lot of opinions i agreed and disagreed with,, here's my personal opinion on all the different topics covered in this book. i want to start with the fact that this is not a romance book; the romance is a subplot. people who are promoting it as one are so wrong 😭
to begin with the suicide/mental health aspect, a lot of people were saying it was romanticized, but i honestly didn't see it. in my opinion, i think this book showed a realistic situation of teenage depression and suicide. the whole emo/goth stereotype was unnecessary or more like overdone bc it sets a bad impression on people who dress or present themselves in that style but aren't depressed or suicidal. the reasons kellan chose to do it might not seem realistic to everyone reading the book, bc through communication and therapy it might have gotten better. i want to note that kellan was an addict. other than his mental illnesses, he took heavy drugs at such a young age and that alone can heavily fuck with someone's brain. depression is much more complex though and mental illness can be so overbearing and difficult, one's decisions can get blurry. as much as the people who loved kellan wanted to help, no one could have saved him but himself. this book portrayed a worst case scenario. you see how it affects your loved ones and how much there is that kellan could've lived for, but chose not to. no matter what though, suicide is never ever the answer. if you are having suicidal ideation, please reach out to trusted ones, a suicide hotline or call 911. no matter what you're going through, your life is so important and you're worth SO much.
next, i loved how the author represented so many different types of complicated familial relationships. leah and charlotte, terry and tate, kellan and his entire family,, all of them were such great stories. through leah and charlotte's troubled past, the author showed how much an older sibling can sacrifice for their younger sibling <i>because</i> they love them, and yet those sacrifices can bring upon so much resentment for all that they've lost for others. i do think leah should've worked on her relationship with charlotte sooner, because what had happened wasn't charlotte's fault, and that reality check tate gave leah was one of the very few situations i applauded him in. through terry, the author showed how catastrophic addiction can be on families. they can cause so much damage that is so hard to repair, maybe even irreversible.
lastly, i wanna touch on the romance. honestly??? if kellan was alive, he would have despised both of them for getting together. it is absolutely NOT what he would have wanted and i bet he's haunting them from the grave <s>as he should</s>. also it was so fucking weird when charlotte walked in on tate and JUST KEPT WATCHING?????? THAT WAS SO CREEPY!!!!!! that ob-gyn scene was so embarrassing i literally felt the second hand embarrassment in my chest. i get the fantasy, but it was SO POORLY EXECUTED 😭😭😭 i liked the fact that charlotte and tate helped each other get through their grief, but tate is such an asshole and charlotte's savior complex is so annoying. when a guy tells u he's going to hurt you, YOU BELIEVE HIM!!!! it's not your responsibility to fix or save a grown man, let alone a whole ass DOCTOR. you can be there for him, but you can't change him. also i hate age gaps and this book did NOTHING to change that. he called her a kid more than once then spoke about how horny he was for her and that is honestly so predatory to me. they were also so inconsistent; if they had just communicated properly, all would have been well.
regardless of its flaws, this book was <i>really</i> good. i loved kellan and i loved leah and i loved how grief was portrayed in such a complex manner and showed all the ups and downs that one goes through as they heal from all types of grief and inner child wounds. it is such a well written book if you minus the romance 🥴
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Bullying, Death, Drug abuse, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, and Suicide attempt
bbygirl21's review against another edition
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I absolutely completely loved this book. It had me on a complete emotional rollercoaster. I loved all the characters literally (aside from the characters at Kellen and Charlotte's school but they're not in a big chunk of this story so it's fine) even the ones you think you'll hate in the beginning by the end of the book you love them, flaws and everything. I literally could not stop reading this since I started it aside from the necessary things like eating.
The build up to Charlotte and Tate getting together was amazing. I felt their chemistry through and through even through all their hate for each other in the beginning.
And Leah (Charlotte's sister) I found myself rooting for her on her journey as well with love and acceptance of herself and letting others in after heartbreak and emotional/physical scarring. And Jonah is the most patient man I every had the pleasure of reading about. He understood Leah's insecurities and loves her unconditionally despite her trying to push him away.
By the end we got three love stories. Kellen and Charlotte (first love), Tate and Charlotte (soulmates drawn together by fate) and then Leah and Jonah (the patient love that takes determination and persistence). I loved reading every single one of their love stories no matter how shortlived or long lasting they ended up being.
I honestly can't recommend this book enough. I just highly suggest checking the trigger/content warnings because it gets quite heavy throughout the entire book.
The build up to Charlotte and Tate getting together was amazing. I felt their chemistry through and through even through all their hate for each other in the beginning.
And Leah (Charlotte's sister) I found myself rooting for her on her journey as well with love and acceptance of herself and letting others in after heartbreak and emotional/physical scarring. And Jonah is the most patient man I every had the pleasure of reading about. He understood Leah's insecurities and loves her unconditionally despite her trying to push him away.
By the end we got three love stories. Kellen and Charlotte (first love), Tate and Charlotte (soulmates drawn together by fate) and then Leah and Jonah (the patient love that takes determination and persistence). I loved reading every single one of their love stories no matter how shortlived or long lasting they ended up being.
I honestly can't recommend this book enough. I just highly suggest checking the trigger/content warnings because it gets quite heavy throughout the entire book.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Cursing, Death, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Grief, Suicide attempt, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship, Medical content, Death of parent, Toxic friendship, and Dysphoria
Minor: Bullying, Violence, Blood, Vomit, and Stalking
frantically's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
this was basically just one giant hipaa violation (and i loved it)
—
Tate and Charlotte had my crying out in frustration, just straight up wanting to cry and nevertheless, always rooting for them.
It was messy, it sad, it was happy, there was so much going on sometimes, I really wondered what this book was even supposed to be about 😂
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are something that's very close to my heart (and if I'd read this book a few years back, it probably would've been...bad for my mental health) and this is one of the few times where I've seen it portrayed accurately. Kellan and Charlotte's thoughts on it feel so real. And I could really feel with Charlotte and Tate being left behind — what did Kellan want to achieve? What was he thinking while jumping? I was always desperately hoping for one last chapter from his POV but of course, it never came.
I didn't expect this to be as much of a slow burn as it was but in the end, it was all so worth it, their relationship just progressed so beautifully, even if it was a bit of a mess sometimes but hey — that's real life, isn't it (and I'm always a sucker for both of the epilogue tropes ngl)?
The only reason this isn't getting 5 clean stars from me is the way that Terry — Tate and Kellan's father — is handled. Tate hates him for very understandable reasons and all Charlotte does is try to convince Tate to let Terry in again and forgive him. This is mainly just my own daddy issues coming through but I don't think Terry deserved any forgiveness and I don't like the progress his story takes.
Overall, such an emotional read that will definitely stay with me for some time. One of my new faves!
4.5 ⭐
—
Tate and Charlotte had my crying out in frustration, just straight up wanting to cry and nevertheless, always rooting for them.
It was messy, it sad, it was happy, there was so much going on sometimes, I really wondered what this book was even supposed to be about 😂
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are something that's very close to my heart (and if I'd read this book a few years back, it probably would've been...bad for my mental health) and this is one of the few times where I've seen it portrayed accurately. Kellan and Charlotte's thoughts on it feel so real. And I could really feel with Charlotte and Tate being left behind — what did Kellan want to achieve? What was he thinking while jumping? I was always desperately hoping for one last chapter from his POV but of course, it never came.
I didn't expect this to be as much of a slow burn as it was but in the end, it was all so worth it, their relationship just progressed so beautifully, even if it was a bit of a mess sometimes but hey — that's real life, isn't it (and I'm always a sucker for both of the epilogue tropes ngl)?
The only reason this isn't getting 5 clean stars from me is the way that Terry — Tate and Kellan's father — is handled. Tate hates him for very understandable reasons and all Charlotte does is try to convince Tate to let Terry in again and forgive him. This is mainly just my own daddy issues coming through but I don't think Terry deserved any forgiveness and I don't like the progress his story takes.
Overall, such an emotional read that will definitely stay with me for some time. One of my new faves!
4.5 ⭐
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child death, Death, Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Fire/Fire injury, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Drug abuse and Drug use
Minor: Infertility and Miscarriage
andeng's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Bullying, Child death, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Infertility, Miscarriage, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Blood, Medical content, Suicide attempt, Pregnancy, Fire/Fire injury, and Abandonment
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