katsmiao's review against another edition
4.0
Well, one thing's for sure: Liza has lived a very colorful life so far.
Her memoir takes us through her youth (moving around lots) to meeting her best friend in College. Emir is from a country where being gay endangers his life, and his visa is about to expire.
They have been best friends for years, so Liza marries him. The book takes us through ups and downs of marriage, friendship, bureaucracy and lying to friends and family.
Even though it is a platonic relationship, they lead a good marriage.
Finally Emir gets a green card and both move on. Liza with her high school crush (who also needs a green card....what are the odds?).
Without wanting to spoil too much, things work out well in the end, and Liza has many life lessons from her journey.
I liked the book. Liza's life story reads like fiction. It's crazy that all those things actually happened to her. At times there was a bit of repetition, which made the book drag a bit in parts. But that is understandable when you are wrestling with a big decision in your life, you tend to spend a lot of time thinking, dwelling, talking about it.
Overall, this is a very interesting and readable memoir.
Her memoir takes us through her youth (moving around lots) to meeting her best friend in College. Emir is from a country where being gay endangers his life, and his visa is about to expire.
They have been best friends for years, so Liza marries him. The book takes us through ups and downs of marriage, friendship, bureaucracy and lying to friends and family.
Even though it is a platonic relationship, they lead a good marriage.
Finally Emir gets a green card and both move on. Liza with her high school crush (who also needs a green card....what are the odds?).
Without wanting to spoil too much, things work out well in the end, and Liza has many life lessons from her journey.
I liked the book. Liza's life story reads like fiction. It's crazy that all those things actually happened to her. At times there was a bit of repetition, which made the book drag a bit in parts. But that is understandable when you are wrestling with a big decision in your life, you tend to spend a lot of time thinking, dwelling, talking about it.
Overall, this is a very interesting and readable memoir.
chrissymcbooknerd's review against another edition
5.0
I don't think I've ever read an autobiographical tale that read quite as intriguing as fiction in quite the same way that THE MARRIAGE ACT did when I recently read it for review. A brief glance at the description let me know that this one was definitely right up my alley, since I absolutely adore works related to the sociology of gender and relationships. And, what can say more about the definition and essence of relationship than a book that centers on thought provoking questions on the issue of marriage, especially as it relates to one woman's unconventional marriage for the purposes of securing her best friend citizenship in the United States.
Monroy is quick to point out that her marriage was intensely based on love -- although, of course, this was a nonsexual love in which she put another individual's happiness seemingly before her own (although the marriage did work to fulfill a void in her life, perpetuated not only by past relationships but also by her relationship with her own father). But, is the absence of sexual love enough to label a marriage as something less than genuine?
Despite the fact that he was gay and would never be her sexual match, Monroy expresses her marriage to Emir in many conventional terms, noting that the couple had great trust and love for one another, remaining in the marriage even after Emir secured his citizenship through the means of a lottery. Likewise, she contrasts this marriage with another, to her old college sweetheart, a man who fit the role of husband on the surface but who could never fulfill a marriage in quite the same way that Emir was able to do.
This work infuses great insights with wonderful moments of humor, my favorite of which was during questioning by the INS in which Liza was stumped by the question about whether or not her husband was circumcised, which she could not, of course, answer since she had no sexual relationship with him at all. It was also interesting that Liza's own mother worked for the INS, so the whole element of a marriage that was hidden not only from the government but also from her own mother added a bit of intrigue that made the book really read like an awesome work of fiction. And, the author's writing style engaging style of writing certainly didn't hurt, either!
I am really glad that I had an opportunity to preview an advanced copy of THE MARRIAGE ACT: THE RISK I TOOK TO KEEP MY BEST FRIEND IN AMERICA, AND WHAT IT TAUGHT US ABOUT LOVE, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has any interest in the topics of marriage and love, cultural anthropology (the descriptions of Emir's hometown and their views of homosexuality were chilling, despite the fact that the names and locations had to be kept vague to protect those involved), or those who are just romantics at heart.
(I did receive a free copy of this book; however, the manner in which the book was received has no baring on my review. I will be purchasing a copy for my Kindle, of course, because I can definitely see myself rereading and re-recommending this brilliant book in the future!)
Monroy is quick to point out that her marriage was intensely based on love -- although, of course, this was a nonsexual love in which she put another individual's happiness seemingly before her own (although the marriage did work to fulfill a void in her life, perpetuated not only by past relationships but also by her relationship with her own father). But, is the absence of sexual love enough to label a marriage as something less than genuine?
Despite the fact that he was gay and would never be her sexual match, Monroy expresses her marriage to Emir in many conventional terms, noting that the couple had great trust and love for one another, remaining in the marriage even after Emir secured his citizenship through the means of a lottery. Likewise, she contrasts this marriage with another, to her old college sweetheart, a man who fit the role of husband on the surface but who could never fulfill a marriage in quite the same way that Emir was able to do.
This work infuses great insights with wonderful moments of humor, my favorite of which was during questioning by the INS in which Liza was stumped by the question about whether or not her husband was circumcised, which she could not, of course, answer since she had no sexual relationship with him at all. It was also interesting that Liza's own mother worked for the INS, so the whole element of a marriage that was hidden not only from the government but also from her own mother added a bit of intrigue that made the book really read like an awesome work of fiction. And, the author's writing style engaging style of writing certainly didn't hurt, either!
I am really glad that I had an opportunity to preview an advanced copy of THE MARRIAGE ACT: THE RISK I TOOK TO KEEP MY BEST FRIEND IN AMERICA, AND WHAT IT TAUGHT US ABOUT LOVE, and I highly recommend it to anyone who has any interest in the topics of marriage and love, cultural anthropology (the descriptions of Emir's hometown and their views of homosexuality were chilling, despite the fact that the names and locations had to be kept vague to protect those involved), or those who are just romantics at heart.
(I did receive a free copy of this book; however, the manner in which the book was received has no baring on my review. I will be purchasing a copy for my Kindle, of course, because I can definitely see myself rereading and re-recommending this brilliant book in the future!)
zluke's review against another edition
4.0
I'd give this a 3.5 if I could. It was an entertaining and engaging read, but a very heterosexual take on gay marriage.
Liza doesn't seem to take seriously the consequences of her actions for Emir. Her reasons for keeping her best friend in the country came across as selfish overall, rather than serious concern for his welfare. There is some mention of the situation were he to go back to his home country, but much more focus on how she would be 'losing her best friend'.
To her credit Liza is very honest in describing her bad choices and consequences, but it frustrated me that she didn't seem to learn or reflect on her poor choices further. There also didn't seem to be a complete understanding of just how disastrously it could have turned out. The idea of fines and prison is mentioned, but seems like a very abstract consequence to the author.
It would have been interesting to hear more from Emir's perspective, but obviously it's important to respect his privacy too.
Liza doesn't seem to take seriously the consequences of her actions for Emir. Her reasons for keeping her best friend in the country came across as selfish overall, rather than serious concern for his welfare. There is some mention of the situation were he to go back to his home country, but much more focus on how she would be 'losing her best friend'.
To her credit Liza is very honest in describing her bad choices and consequences, but it frustrated me that she didn't seem to learn or reflect on her poor choices further. There also didn't seem to be a complete understanding of just how disastrously it could have turned out. The idea of fines and prison is mentioned, but seems like a very abstract consequence to the author.
It would have been interesting to hear more from Emir's perspective, but obviously it's important to respect his privacy too.
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