Reviews tagging 'Grief'

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw

24 reviews

readingwithtrey's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional funny inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

I’m going to start this review by saying this book will not be for everyone and that’s okay. If you’re not an open-minded reader, you may find yourself offended by some of the things in this book. 

Now to my review, in my humble opinion, this book is a work 👏🏽 of 👏🏽art👏🏽. While I didn’t have any personal shared experiences with each woman, I could appreciate the nods to the culture that I could completely relate to. They include: being in church every Sunday with our moms & grannies and often times aunts, uncles, and cousins. (I was related to almost everyone in the small, country church I attended growing up.) Our grannies always telling us that they’re praying for us (and knowing for certain they actually were) and usually having a feast ready for us whenever we visited. Spending summers outside all day almost every day with our cousins without a care in the world. Getting a new beautiful frilly dress from my grandma each Easter. This book made me nostalgic for that time and made that ache that I still have to see both of my grandmas one more time feel as new as the days that they left us.

There is so much to this book than what’s on the surface level. & I highly recommend it for readers with open hearts and minds. Know that there are a lot of touchy/sensitive subjects. It was funny, incredibly sad, and totally different from anything I’ve read. 

My only complaint is that I need updates on all of these women, especially Jael. Her chapter had me weak.

Favorite quotes:

“We miss their bare brown arms reaching to hang clothes on the line with wooden pins. We miss their Sun tea brewed all day in big jars on the picnic table in the backyard.”

“We miss how they made our Easter dresses and pound cakes and a way out of no way.”

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shieldbearer's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Every story was so well crafted with nuanced characters.  Highly recommended. 

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prose_reveries's review against another edition

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emotional reflective tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0


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davidbythebay's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny inspiring reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? N/A

5.0

Greg (Supposedly Fun on BookTube & Instagram) was absolutely right: this is an amazing short story collection! I shy away from short story collections because I never feel they are or of similar caliber to each other usually. Here, however, Philyaw has created an entire universe of Black women who are strong, unapologetically powerful, and asserting how they wish to live their lives. From queer/lesbian or heterosexual perspectives, these nine short stories cover a wide ground of topic areas and perspectives. And I'm living for it all! Absolutely amazing! 

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kayschwe's review against another edition

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emotional medium-paced
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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libraryghost's review against another edition

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emotional reflective fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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dalmavatai's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Ahh this short story collection was so impactful and gripping, I loved every single second of it!

All of the stories in here deal with desire, pain, grief, love, family, and Christianity, and all of them do it brilliantly and beautifully. All of the characters are vivid and relatable - they are not without their flaws, in fact these flaws are often prominent in the stories, but they are portrayed with such compassion and humanity that you can't help but feel for them. Every story is unique but what unites them all is their exploration of how Black women navigate desire and pain, love and grief, often simultaneously. 

Such a beautiful collection full of humanity, exploring the universally human desire to be loved. 

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rockyroadbutch's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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jesseybean's review against another edition

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emotional reflective sad fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0


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hollyd19's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful reflective sad tense fast-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? No
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.5

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a collection of short stories that spotlights Black women of various ages as they push against prescribed narratives & wrestle with purpose, sexuality, and worth. One endorsement described the collection as “cheeky and insightful” and I second that. I can’t say every story was for me, but I thoroughly enjoyed How to Make Love to a Physicist, Peach Cobbler, Snowfall, and Instructions for Married Christian Men. The stories are rich, artistically diverse, and deeply human. 

I was surprised (perhaps I shouldn’t have been, given the word ‘secrets’ in the title) by how heavily sex factored in nearly all the stories. It was never gratuitous or explicit, but it did play a much larger role than I had expected. Additionally, I had the impression that the collection would be more... fun? Honestly, for the most part I found it fairly bleak. That’s not to say it wasn’t tender and at times funny, but most stories left me feeling rather melancholy. Each woman featured faces some significant strain — emotionally, relationally, etc — and I would have loved at least one story to be robustly joyful (the closest is How To Make Love to a Physicist). Finally, there is ample mention of church life & culture, but I wouldn’t define any of the protagonists as “church ladies.” They are all church-lady-adjacent, but perhaps that was Philyaw’s chosen device: a window into the lives of church ladies from those who are in some way outside the fold.

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