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cschaepe84's review
challenging
emotional
mysterious
reflective
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Such and eloquently written, highly emotional story between two lost souls. Natsya is a girl who has been shattered by trauma after a horrific event that happened to her years ago, leaving her unable to do the things she loves most and becoming the shadow of what she once was. It kills her to drag down everyone she loves with her, but most of all, not being the girl they remember and want her to be. Feeling lost and broken, she stops speaking altogether, creating an air of mystery around her when she enters a new school, a girl dressed provocatively to keep people at a distance.
Then you have Josh. He is alone in the world, having lost everybody he has ever loved and has loved him starting from the age of 8 when his mother and sister died suddenly from a car accident, to his grandfather, his last remaining family member. He doesn't know how to relate to other around him, being surrounded by so much loss and hurt, and nobody knows what to say and act toward him, creating a "dead zone" that keeps others away, and him alone.
But then Natsya and Josh meet. Two people, lonely and outcasts in their own right, knowing nothing of each other's pasts and traumas, find themselves quietly drawn together. Josh, who has no one to love him, and Natsya, who is surrounded by loved ones, but doesn't know how to let them love her and feels the weight of their disappointment, gradually find peace and solace in each other's company. Both in their own right are damaged, both have secrets, and in a way, it brings them together in their isolation, but sooner or later, can tear them apart as those secrets come to light.
The writing draw me in, pulls me, and I get wrapped up in Natsya's and Josh's worlds. I can get a strong sense of their hurt and alienation from others, feel their pain and bitterness. I enjoyed how there was also a mystery that slowly unfolded the further in I get into the book, which explains Natsya's silence and bizarre behavior, her reluctance to let anyone in. I feel how Natsya's trauma changes her, the grief that she feels over the girl she once was and can never be again. She takes out her energy and frustration of not being able to speak by running (I kind of do the same thing, only I do a lot of walking instead. But still, I get the need to physically move just to get away from your thoughts).
I can also sense Josh's isolation and the pain of being completely alone in the world despite having friends. His compulsive need to build, create, and pour his energy into his craft to forget about all he's lost. When Natsya comes in to the picture, however, she creates a vulnerable spot for him, and as they get closer, you can sense the walls crumbling down along with Natsya's sanity. He cannot fall in love with her, and yet he does, but loving her would also mean being hurt by her.
The rest of the supporting characters were phenomenal, and THIS is an example on how you should write extra character. Each were well-fleshed out an played a part in Josh's and Natsya's story without becoming a distraction, but still managed to feel very real and fleshed out. Most notable is Drew, who although is something of a jerk, actually has a heart of gold inside. I loved getting to know him and his family, as well the dynamic between him and his sister Sarah, whose behavior I can later on understand. What stands out to me the most is the Sunday Dinner in which a bunch of them, a whole mismatched group of kids from different cliques, get together and play a part in setting up. This is such a wonderful scene in general, because it gives a chance for the supporting characters to really shine.
Overall, story was very emotionally intense, but also exciting as the mystery further unravels, and you understand what exactly happened to Natsya all those years ago, as well as who she really is and what she was in her past. The ending had me floored from all the revelations and then the decisions Natsya and Josh have to make. I loved how in the end, their circumstances don't change, but they decide to live with all the scars of their past and try to build and heal from there. The VERY end surprises me most of all, and its a sweet surprise because it takes you back to when Natsya found Josh's a garage, and if you've paid attention, you would see how it all came full circle.
This story weighed so heavy in my mind that it took me a while to sit and think about how to organized my thoughts about it, so I hope it comes out clear, because I can't say enough how much it's really imprinted on me. It's impressive that this is Katja Millay's first book, and its a shame she hasn't published anything else since.
Then you have Josh. He is alone in the world, having lost everybody he has ever loved and has loved him starting from the age of 8 when his mother and sister died suddenly from a car accident, to his grandfather, his last remaining family member. He doesn't know how to relate to other around him, being surrounded by so much loss and hurt, and nobody knows what to say and act toward him, creating a "dead zone" that keeps others away, and him alone.
But then Natsya and Josh meet. Two people, lonely and outcasts in their own right, knowing nothing of each other's pasts and traumas, find themselves quietly drawn together. Josh, who has no one to love him, and Natsya, who is surrounded by loved ones, but doesn't know how to let them love her and feels the weight of their disappointment, gradually find peace and solace in each other's company. Both in their own right are damaged, both have secrets, and in a way, it brings them together in their isolation, but sooner or later, can tear them apart as those secrets come to light.
The writing draw me in, pulls me, and I get wrapped up in Natsya's and Josh's worlds. I can get a strong sense of their hurt and alienation from others, feel their pain and bitterness. I enjoyed how there was also a mystery that slowly unfolded the further in I get into the book, which explains Natsya's silence and bizarre behavior, her reluctance to let anyone in. I feel how Natsya's trauma changes her, the grief that she feels over the girl she once was and can never be again. She takes out her energy and frustration of not being able to speak by running (I kind of do the same thing, only I do a lot of walking instead. But still, I get the need to physically move just to get away from your thoughts).
I can also sense Josh's isolation and the pain of being completely alone in the world despite having friends. His compulsive need to build, create, and pour his energy into his craft to forget about all he's lost. When Natsya comes in to the picture, however, she creates a vulnerable spot for him, and as they get closer, you can sense the walls crumbling down along with Natsya's sanity. He cannot fall in love with her, and yet he does, but loving her would also mean being hurt by her.
The rest of the supporting characters were phenomenal, and THIS is an example on how you should write extra character. Each were well-fleshed out an played a part in Josh's and Natsya's story without becoming a distraction, but still managed to feel very real and fleshed out. Most notable is Drew, who although is something of a jerk, actually has a heart of gold inside. I loved getting to know him and his family, as well the dynamic between him and his sister Sarah, whose behavior I can later on understand. What stands out to me the most is the Sunday Dinner in which a bunch of them, a whole mismatched group of kids from different cliques, get together and play a part in setting up. This is such a wonderful scene in general, because it gives a chance for the supporting characters to really shine.
Overall, story was very emotionally intense, but also exciting as the mystery further unravels, and you understand what exactly happened to Natsya all those years ago, as well as who she really is and what she was in her past. The ending had me floored from all the revelations and then the decisions Natsya and Josh have to make. I loved how in the end, their circumstances don't change, but they decide to live with all the scars of their past and try to build and heal from there. The VERY end surprises me most of all, and its a sweet surprise because it takes you back to when Natsya found Josh's a garage, and if you've paid attention, you would see how it all came full circle.
This story weighed so heavy in my mind that it took me a while to sit and think about how to organized my thoughts about it, so I hope it comes out clear, because I can't say enough how much it's really imprinted on me. It's impressive that this is Katja Millay's first book, and its a shame she hasn't published anything else since.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Violence, Grief, and Dysphoria
Moderate: Death, Sexism, Sexual assault, Vomit, and Death of parent
Minor: Bullying, Cancer, and Abandonment
bookrecsbyjess's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings: assault, murder, death, cancer, mentions a fatal car accident, sex, swearing, underage drinking, bullying, & drugs.
After reading this book a second time, I can honestly say that I loved it even more the second time through!
The first time I read this story as an eBook, and then the second time as an audiobook.
As far as the audiobook goes, I loved both Kirby Heyborne and Candace Thaxton as narrators. I love how they brought the characters to life.
I also really enjoy Katja Millay's writing style. Having the story told in alternating POVs was really enjoyable. I'm always a fan of dual point of views.
Both Josh and Nastya were sarcastic and cynical at times, but that is what I enjoyed most about them. Also, their relationship was so cute. I honestly loved them and their domestic moments.
This book also dealt with several heavy topics in what felt a natural and realistic way that made me really feel for the characters.
Overall, I will definitely be reading this again!
After reading this book a second time, I can honestly say that I loved it even more the second time through!
The first time I read this story as an eBook, and then the second time as an audiobook.
As far as the audiobook goes, I loved both Kirby Heyborne and Candace Thaxton as narrators. I love how they brought the characters to life.
I also really enjoy Katja Millay's writing style. Having the story told in alternating POVs was really enjoyable. I'm always a fan of dual point of views.
Both Josh and Nastya were sarcastic and cynical at times, but that is what I enjoyed most about them. Also, their relationship was so cute. I honestly loved them and their domestic moments.
This book also dealt with several heavy topics in what felt a natural and realistic way that made me really feel for the characters.
Overall, I will definitely be reading this again!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault and Murder
Moderate: Death and Sexual content
Minor: Cancer, Drug use, Car accident, and Alcohol
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