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not_nosferatu's review
adventurous
dark
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.25
I won a copy during a Storygraph giveaway.
This was...not great. The idea is there, but not executed well. There were a number of very basic grammatical errors (three in the first chapter is a VERY bad first impression), such as the wrong your/you're, "ill" instead of "I'll", "were" instead of "we're", that sort of thing.
Bare minimum, this needed another round of editing and different beta readers.
There's a lot of "show, then tell, then show again to make sure the reader really gets it" moments, such as in the beginning when we're first introduced to Sybil. We can tell it's an unhappy marriage by the interactions, we don't need to be explicitly told the marriage is unhappy. Or that James doesn't believe like Eric does.
For about half the book, I didn't buy that Sybil and James even liked each other, let alone that they're supposed to be in love.
Some of the stuff is just awkwardly placed and awkwardly done, primarily the chapter where James puts in the earpiece and thinks he's shooting Sybil, and most of Chapter 11.
Also, could probably stand to cut down on the number of named characters. It felt like a lot for a <200 page book.
The idea is there. I can see what the author is going for. But this needs heavy work.
This was...not great. The idea is there, but not executed well. There were a number of very basic grammatical errors (three in the first chapter is a VERY bad first impression), such as the wrong your/you're, "ill" instead of "I'll", "were" instead of "we're", that sort of thing.
There's a lot of "show, then tell, then show again to make sure the reader really gets it" moments, such as in the beginning when we're first introduced to Sybil. We can tell it's an unhappy marriage by the interactions, we don't need to be explicitly told the marriage is unhappy. Or that James doesn't believe like Eric does.
For about half the book, I didn't buy that Sybil and James even liked each other, let alone that they're supposed to be in love.
Some of the stuff is just awkwardly placed and awkwardly done, primarily the chapter where James puts in the earpiece and thinks he's shooting Sybil, and most of Chapter 11.
Also, could probably stand to cut down on the number of named characters. It felt like a lot for a <200 page book.
The idea is there. I can see what the author is going for. But this needs heavy work.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Confinement, Death, Gun violence, Forced institutionalization, and Blood
Moderate: Cursing, Sexual assault, and Classism
Minor: Suicidal thoughts and War
nesdy's review
I got this in a Storygraph giveaway so I feel bad DNFing but the formatting is terrible and I've seen several typos already.
sophiejatta's review
This book was a story graph competition which I did not win but was prompted to have a look at the book on kindle unlimited. I am one of those people that doesn't DNF books. No matter how bad I will try and finish the book...until this book. This is my first DNF.
The story isn't the issue depsite it being poor. The writing is so bad that most of the time it's laughable with some very misogynistic undertones.
The story isn't the issue depsite it being poor. The writing is so bad that most of the time it's laughable with some very misogynistic undertones.
faloneran's review
adventurous
dark
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
2.0
rubymajor's review
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
1.0
It was truly awful and I should have DNF'd it but it was so short I forced myself to finish it. It felt like a clumsy infodump you'd find in a grade-school book report. The dialogue was awful and poorly written, truthfully the whole thing was poorly written but the dialogue was exceptionally poor. The plot was ill conceived, had no development, made little sense, had plot holes you could drive a semi through. It felt like I was reading a bad teen fan fiction summary instead a novel published by a doctor. There was no point to the story whatsoever other than dictatorships are bad? I don't even know what it was supposed to be about.
kuritsahreads's review
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
1.0
I won this book in a giveaway. Below is a spoiler-free review.
First, let's address the story because this book left me utterly perplexed. I don't understand why the book's description tries to portray it as a tale of love. James and Sybil appear to despise each other, to the point of resorting to physical violence. Additionally, what was the purpose of introducing the character Cam? It only added to the confusion in the ending.
Similarly, it made no sense to me that 'the woman' would make advances towards James (andrape him !). What was that all about?! In fact, overall, certain sections of this book read like an incel reddit post. Either the author holds a misogynistic view of women's roles in society, or they wrote this purely for shock value.
The story is evidently influenced by George Orwell's novel '1984' (this author is even mentioned in the afterword). The only reason I persevered to finish the book was in the hope of discovering something new. Indeed, around the halfway point, the narrative delves into the crazy origins of New Haven, only to never mention it again. It had absolutely no impact on the rest of the story.
Now, onto the format and writing style, which proved to be the most off-putting aspect of this book. There is an unacceptable number of typos and punctuation errors, such as using 'were' instead of 'we're,' inserting commas unnecessarily while omitting them where they are needed, or missing quotation marks. It felt as though I was reading a preliminary version of the book.
Certain parts of the story read more like a screenplay for a short film rather than a novel. While I appreciate innovation in the format of a novel, I quickly grew annoyed with the frequent use of 'BOOM's and 'BANG's. When you have them at every second chapter, they lose their impact pretty quickly.
Lastly, the text is riddled with tedious exposition. It seems as if the author couldn't be bothered to describe the situations more subtly and thus allowing readers to deduce for themselves. Let me provide an example from the first chapter when we meet Sybil:
“Sybil and James’s relationship has been rocky for quite some time but especially over the last few months. James is growing tired of Sybils attachment issues and finds her clinginess a nuisance. Sybil is beginning to resent James for his lack of emotional capacity to meaningfully participate in their marriage.”
This paragraph resembles a SparkNotes summary of their relationship. We didn't need this section, as moments later, Sybil confides in Cam about her situation. With a few well-placed details, the author could have shown these underlying marital issues instead of telling us so plainly.
First, let's address the story because this book left me utterly perplexed. I don't understand why the book's description tries to portray it as a tale of love. James and Sybil appear to despise each other, to the point of resorting to physical violence. Additionally, what was the purpose of introducing the character Cam? It only added to the confusion in the ending.
Similarly, it made no sense to me that 'the woman' would make advances towards James (and
The story is evidently influenced by George Orwell's novel '1984' (this author is even mentioned in the afterword). The only reason I persevered to finish the book was in the hope of discovering something new. Indeed, around the halfway point, the narrative delves into the crazy origins of New Haven, only to never mention it again. It had absolutely no impact on the rest of the story.
Now, onto the format and writing style, which proved to be the most off-putting aspect of this book. There is an unacceptable number of typos and punctuation errors, such as using 'were' instead of 'we're,' inserting commas unnecessarily while omitting them where they are needed, or missing quotation marks. It felt as though I was reading a preliminary version of the book.
Certain parts of the story read more like a screenplay for a short film rather than a novel. While I appreciate innovation in the format of a novel, I quickly grew annoyed with the frequent use of 'BOOM's and 'BANG's. When you have them at every second chapter, they lose their impact pretty quickly.
Lastly, the text is riddled with tedious exposition. It seems as if the author couldn't be bothered to describe the situations more subtly and thus allowing readers to deduce for themselves. Let me provide an example from the first chapter when we meet Sybil:
“Sybil and James’s relationship has been rocky for quite some time but especially over the last few months. James is growing tired of Sybils attachment issues and finds her clinginess a nuisance. Sybil is beginning to resent James for his lack of emotional capacity to meaningfully participate in their marriage.”
This paragraph resembles a SparkNotes summary of their relationship. We didn't need this section, as moments later, Sybil confides in Cam about her situation. With a few well-placed details, the author could have shown these underlying marital issues instead of telling us so plainly.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Death, Gun violence, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexism, and Violence
Moderate: Gore and Rape
Minor: Infidelity
elli131001's review
adventurous
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
hazeyjane_2's review
I won this in a Storygraph giveaway. However, the writing style leaves much to be desired - fifteen pages in, it became clear that it was clunky, and infodumpy, and altogether read like a self-pub vanity project.
DNF.
DNF.