Scan barcode
Reviews tagging 'Sexism'
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt
4 reviews
kittybeemartin's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
2.5
HUGE rant on this one guys. I did like many parts of this book, but as a mental health provider who works with children and parents, I had SO many problems with it too.
1) Saying that threats to children playing unsupervised outside have decreased since the 90s and therefore children should be allowed to do so because the emotional problems started when children stopped playing outside in the 90s and not seeing the problem IS a problem. They’re not going outside to be abducted or hit by cars. That is why they are not being abducted or hit by cars. Like sure, we can smoke cigarettes now because there are less smoking-related deaths so they’re safe. That’s not how it works.
2) We literally send children with traumatic brain injuries back to school as quickly as possible because the damage of social isolation is too great a risk. I feel like that point was mentioned then ignored. It cannot be ignored. Children and teens NEED to be a part of their social groups and denying them access to social media and instant communication denies them that, regardless of how you feel about those things.
3) Those playground structures you say are minimally risky have sent children to the concussion clinic I was at. I worked at a summer camp and saw kids break their arms off of them. These things are only safe with appropriate adult supervision and we cannot rely on that for every child. So yes, some children miss out so other children don’t die. I’m okay with that. Why aren't you?
5) The suggestions were SO problematic (idyllic at best)
a) I felt like the author really showed his age by thinking that parents could just not let their children have social media until age 16. Sure there are parental limit apps but kids will find a way. The best way to get a kid that age to do something is to tell them they can't do it.
b) The sexism… Stating that girls had it worse and then making no girl-specific recommendations while suggesting that academics and the work force be reverted to physical based jobs and boys should be encouraged to do those jobs is unfair.
c) Then looking at the recommendations in general, most of the ones parents can do require that a parent has a lot of time and/or money to pull them off. Also a lot of these suggestions were things we’ve moved away from because they take away from childhood. Older siblings at age 9 or 10 should not have to be fully responsible for getting younger siblings dressed, fed, and on a school bus.
<b> This is what I suggest to the parents of the children I work with. </b>
1) Model adaptive social media consumption and technology use. Narrate to your child, “I’m putting my phone away because I was on it for longer than I meant to be and now I want to play with you.” Things like that. This is something every parent can do FOR FREE.
2) Explain the risks of dysphoria to children (not just girls) in ways they can understand and at an early age while promoting self-love and acceptance. “That girl is really pretty. Isn’t it nice that everybody doesn’t look the same? She gets to be pretty and we get to be pretty. I bet we’re all smart too.” Again, this is something every parent can do FOR FREE.
3) Instead of sending your children for unsupervised play, use semi-supervised play whenever possible. Sit a few rows back at the movie theater when your kid is seeing something with a friend. Work up to independence. We do not live in a world in which it is safe to send your 6 year old to the movies on their own. Regardless of what this author says.
4) Not free but worth mentioning and counter to what they said about making everything unstructured, encourage children to participate in activities that are incompatible with constant media use. Gymnastics, horse back riding, swimming, dance, ice skating, karate are all good choices. Unstructured play is great, but these are all activities kids can do as part of a group or individually where they literally cannot be on their phone the whole time. It’s just not convenient. That way it doesn’t feel like their tech is being taken.
1) Saying that threats to children playing unsupervised outside have decreased since the 90s and therefore children should be allowed to do so because the emotional problems started when children stopped playing outside in the 90s and not seeing the problem IS a problem. They’re not going outside to be abducted or hit by cars. That is why they are not being abducted or hit by cars. Like sure, we can smoke cigarettes now because there are less smoking-related deaths so they’re safe. That’s not how it works.
2) We literally send children with traumatic brain injuries back to school as quickly as possible because the damage of social isolation is too great a risk. I feel like that point was mentioned then ignored. It cannot be ignored. Children and teens NEED to be a part of their social groups and denying them access to social media and instant communication denies them that, regardless of how you feel about those things.
3) Those playground structures you say are minimally risky have sent children to the concussion clinic I was at. I worked at a summer camp and saw kids break their arms off of them. These things are only safe with appropriate adult supervision and we cannot rely on that for every child. So yes, some children miss out so other children don’t die. I’m okay with that. Why aren't you?
5) The suggestions were SO problematic (idyllic at best)
a) I felt like the author really showed his age by thinking that parents could just not let their children have social media until age 16. Sure there are parental limit apps but kids will find a way. The best way to get a kid that age to do something is to tell them they can't do it.
b) The sexism… Stating that girls had it worse and then making no girl-specific recommendations while suggesting that academics and the work force be reverted to physical based jobs and boys should be encouraged to do those jobs is unfair.
c) Then looking at the recommendations in general, most of the ones parents can do require that a parent has a lot of time and/or money to pull them off. Also a lot of these suggestions were things we’ve moved away from because they take away from childhood. Older siblings at age 9 or 10 should not have to be fully responsible for getting younger siblings dressed, fed, and on a school bus.
<b> This is what I suggest to the parents of the children I work with. </b>
1) Model adaptive social media consumption and technology use. Narrate to your child, “I’m putting my phone away because I was on it for longer than I meant to be and now I want to play with you.” Things like that. This is something every parent can do FOR FREE.
2) Explain the risks of dysphoria to children (not just girls) in ways they can understand and at an early age while promoting self-love and acceptance. “That girl is really pretty. Isn’t it nice that everybody doesn’t look the same? She gets to be pretty and we get to be pretty. I bet we’re all smart too.” Again, this is something every parent can do FOR FREE.
3) Instead of sending your children for unsupervised play, use semi-supervised play whenever possible. Sit a few rows back at the movie theater when your kid is seeing something with a friend. Work up to independence. We do not live in a world in which it is safe to send your 6 year old to the movies on their own. Regardless of what this author says.
4) Not free but worth mentioning and counter to what they said about making everything unstructured, encourage children to participate in activities that are incompatible with constant media use. Gymnastics, horse back riding, swimming, dance, ice skating, karate are all good choices. Unstructured play is great, but these are all activities kids can do as part of a group or individually where they literally cannot be on their phone the whole time. It’s just not convenient. That way it doesn’t feel like their tech is being taken.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexism
jehansen127's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Bullying, Confinement, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Self harm, Sexism, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual harassment, and Dysphoria
himpersonal's review against another edition
informative
fast-paced
5.0
I’m not really sure how relevant the observations and advice in this book will be in a couple of generations. I think our current younger generations (mostly whom will be unaware of the practices outlined) will figure out how to get through life in different ways out of necessity. What we know about child development will change epigenetically. So I’d be interested in testing this book against the world in about 30 years. Until then, what’s provided seems infinitely beneficial. I can already see it play out in my life a little - my older nephew learned to read and write in Korean as a toddler on YouTube, but there’s a distinct and immediately noticeable difference between him and my niece who only knew Elmo through books and only started getting screen time probably at age four or five, and it was one episode of Daniel Tiger a week and a yoga program she did with her dad. My niece is a lot more excited about new experiences and meeting new people. There are many factors that distinguish them, but I’ve kind believed their access to screen times was a big contributor.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Body shaming, Bullying, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Racism, Self harm, Sexism, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Stalking, Suicide attempt, Outing, Sexual harassment, Dysphoria, Classism, and Pandemic/Epidemic