sonia_reppe's review against another edition
4.0
The stalker-Priest/Professor didn't get violent or sexual in his harassment; yet it's crazy how he just didn't get it. Most people get the hint when someone stops returning your calls and keeps refusing your invitations; when someone avoids you, it becomes apparent that you should move on. But this guy, and intellectual person so does not get it. Even when Donna started saying "no," over and over, he refused to hear the no, and accused her of "being a bad friend."
An added layer of complication came from his position of power. He was on her dissertation committee and would be the one who needed to write her letter or recommendation. So for a long time she felt she had to put up with things. No, he wasn't inappropriate in a sexual way, but receiving multiple letters and calls everyday by this guy would make anyone dread opening the mailbox or answering the phone, and make them a nervous wreck.
And yet a third layer to the situation caused even more anger and frustration: how the university HR lied to Donna saying they would do something about it; yet they did nothing.
All this made for a quick, compelling read, although I felt Freitas analyzes it too much for the reader. Especially the prologue was not needed. (Not for the reader-- I believed Freitas needed to get that down on paper for her own mental cleansing but the reader didn't need it). Just the facts of what happened will let any reader conclude the craziness and inappropriateness of him and of her innocence. Just by sharing her background,as she does, of being from a traditional Catholic family, will let the reader draw connections between why she waited so long to assert herself against a priest.
A different kind of stalker tale.
An added layer of complication came from his position of power. He was on her dissertation committee and would be the one who needed to write her letter or recommendation. So for a long time she felt she had to put up with things. No, he wasn't inappropriate in a sexual way, but receiving multiple letters and calls everyday by this guy would make anyone dread opening the mailbox or answering the phone, and make them a nervous wreck.
And yet a third layer to the situation caused even more anger and frustration: how the university HR lied to Donna saying they would do something about it; yet they did nothing.
All this made for a quick, compelling read, although I felt Freitas analyzes it too much for the reader. Especially the prologue was not needed. (Not for the reader-- I believed Freitas needed to get that down on paper for her own mental cleansing but the reader didn't need it). Just the facts of what happened will let any reader conclude the craziness and inappropriateness of him and of her innocence. Just by sharing her background,as she does, of being from a traditional Catholic family, will let the reader draw connections between why she waited so long to assert herself against a priest.
A different kind of stalker tale.
tallgurl's review against another edition
5.0
LOVE the book. Hate what happened. The authors writing is poignant and emotional and raw. The fact that her studies involve sexual harassment resulted in insights that were the crux of the book.
southernbellebooks's review against another edition
5.0
I loved this because it was full-detailed story of harassment and it outlined how this man weaseled his way into her life. It covers how guilty so many of us women feel when a man approaches us and we say now. How when a man is insistent, we often feel pressured because we don't want to come off a certain way or we're afraid to hurt someone. This is the story of a woman finding out that it's okay to not be polite and give in to an obsessive man.
anitaofplaybooktag's review against another edition
5.0
Consent is a brilliantly rendered memoir authored by a woman, Donna Freitas, who dreamed of being a professor. Unfortunately, she encountered a huge hurdle to realizing her dreams when a professor, a priest no less, became obsessed with her.
Let’s just say that the most compelling part of this book is the complete candor with which it is written, but that is closely followed by the beautiful use of language. Parts of the story are poetically rendered; others have more of an academic cast, and some parts are simply deeply personal.
What makes this book so fascinating is that Donna tells her story in such vivid detail, including her innermost thoughts and her tremendous self doubt. It does help the reader to understand how a situation can start innocuously enough, but then by the time the victim realizes what is happening, she no longer feels empowered to stop it.
Her view of herself in hindsight is so interesting. She never really is able to reconcile her image of herself as an attractive person, in control of her sexuality, filled with passion for a life of the mind with a person who was victimized, but when I read about her family background and her propensity for leaning so hard into her studies, building very close relationships with her teachers from a young age, I do see some red flags. Unfortunately, she managed to come into contact with a predator who, with little more than psychological manipulation, invaded her life. She shows how it happened through her unique lens, and the reader experiences the horror of it. She asks why me, and then I personally think some readers will see the answer – yet she remains unsure. Sadly, the ending is not as satisfying as one hopes for throughout, but it is instructive.
There was a lot I would have liked to discuss about this book, so I think it would be extremely good for book clubs. I walked away with more questions than before I read her account.
All in all, I found the author to be extremely brave to tackle this topic the way that she did, for the world to read. Five stars all the way.
#NetGalley
Let’s just say that the most compelling part of this book is the complete candor with which it is written, but that is closely followed by the beautiful use of language. Parts of the story are poetically rendered; others have more of an academic cast, and some parts are simply deeply personal.
What makes this book so fascinating is that Donna tells her story in such vivid detail, including her innermost thoughts and her tremendous self doubt. It does help the reader to understand how a situation can start innocuously enough, but then by the time the victim realizes what is happening, she no longer feels empowered to stop it.
Her view of herself in hindsight is so interesting. She never really is able to reconcile her image of herself as an attractive person, in control of her sexuality, filled with passion for a life of the mind with a person who was victimized, but when I read about her family background and her propensity for leaning so hard into her studies, building very close relationships with her teachers from a young age, I do see some red flags. Unfortunately, she managed to come into contact with a predator who, with little more than psychological manipulation, invaded her life. She shows how it happened through her unique lens, and the reader experiences the horror of it. She asks why me, and then I personally think some readers will see the answer – yet she remains unsure. Sadly, the ending is not as satisfying as one hopes for throughout, but it is instructive.
There was a lot I would have liked to discuss about this book, so I think it would be extremely good for book clubs. I walked away with more questions than before I read her account.
All in all, I found the author to be extremely brave to tackle this topic the way that she did, for the world to read. Five stars all the way.
#NetGalley
catherine_esperanza's review against another edition
5.0
Incredible memoir! Through her story, she dives into the nuances and complexities of consent (and non-consent) and how that intersects with power dynamics, gender, religion, Title IV, universities, the legal system, etc.
miguelb's review against another edition
5.0
I’ve never read a more comprehensive account of stalking and the massive toll it takes. The sense of responsibility, of guilt. The need to wish it away. Powerful and heartbreaking. And then empowering.
wilduniversechild's review against another edition
3.0
Quality of Writing: 6/10
Pace: 5/10
Plot Development: N/A
Characters: N/A
Enjoyability: 5/10
Insightfulness: 8/10
Ease of Reading: 8/10
Overall Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I thought about giving this book four stars. It is quite good. I just couldn't let go of the fact that it dragged after a while, and while I understand this is a memoir, there is only so much introspection I can take. After a while I would start to wish she'd move on to another topic besides her mental state.
Now, I don't want to sound callous. I understand severe anxiety, and trauma. Those are serious. I understand stalking is serious, and it has major lasting effects on a person. But her writing style focused too much on her repetitive thinking, and not enough on moving the story forward. She wrote about her same guilt and shame-ridden thoughts and how that affected her, but I was more interested in hearing what happened next.
Dr. Freitas is a powerful writer, and a powerful feminist. I admire her for that. Sometimes though, I felt her views were a little too forceful. For all the time she spent talking about her experience, she made sure to offset it with how others gave her positive things to remember or attribute with this or that institution. But I didn't feel like it was enough. She talked so forcefully against the Catholic Church, I didn't understand why she would want to be catholic. She spoke out so much against Human Resources people and university policies, that I could fathom why she stayed or why she still teaches on campuses. For all the words she shared, I still don't understand.
Maybe that's because I didn't live it though, and I just cannot understand.
Regardless, I still think the flow of the book was good. The stories were crisp, and the experience was troubling. A fairly good read overall.
l3m0nad3's review against another edition
1.0
DNF- this book is way too heavy on the religion, 20 pages in the religious nonsense starts and never ever stops. luckily I was with in the return window to @m@zon. Please be aware this is filled with religious nonsense.
I was looking for a memoir about title IX and campus stalking, not religion and preaching.
I was looking for a memoir about title IX and campus stalking, not religion and preaching.
readingnookreviews's review against another edition
4.0
“Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention” was unlike any other book I’ve read since it discussed stalking and how consent is viewed in society. I saw this one on bookstagram months ago and decided to pick it up! Donna Freitas is a beautiful writer and I loved her elaboration on different concepts such as Title IX and mandatory reporting. She relayed a view of mandatory reporting that I had never even thought of and it really made me take a step back and think. This book has a building feeling of unease throughout and I was angry and disturbed multiple times while reading, especially towards the end. We are given a look inside Donna’s thoughts/feelings while she went through this ordeal and how she felt afterwards. She struggles with PTSD, makes excuses, blames herself, and avoids even speaking about the subject. The situation in this book is one that should be discussed more often, as it is all too common and terrifying how easily this can ruin someone’s life.
raenovels's review against another edition
3.0
Read this review and others on my blog: https://thriftybibliophile.com
Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention by Donna Freitas is Donna’s account of the stalking and unwanted attention she faced as a graduate in college.
Donna is a well-published author, a scholar, and knowledgeable in her field, of sex, religion, and consent on college campuses. She’s a sought after speaker and thrives in academia.
Donna is a doctor, a daughter, and a friend. But she’s also a victim.
As a college graduate, one of her professors at her Catholic university–a priest–started taking an inappropriate interest in her. While his attentions weren’t blatantly sexual, they were incessant and unwanted. This priest would call Donna, follow Donna, and fill her mailboxes with letters.
Since he was in a position of power, Donna struggled with how to handle her stalker. He was everywhere. She couldn’t get away from him.
Consent is an in-depth examination of Donna’s nightmarish years as a doctoral candidate being stalked by her professor.
Consent by Donna Freitas was a fascinating read. While it didn’t blow me away, I enjoyed it.
It’s so easy to think of harassment as black and white. Is sending a few letters and making a few phone calls really harassment? Donna does a wonderful job exploring consent and what that really means. Donna didn’t consent to her professor’s attentions. She was an unwilling participant who was subjected to her professor’s repeated and unwanted affection. And her professor was positively relentless in his quest to commandeer Donna’s time.
Unwanted attention is not consent, and this is not okay. Stalking is very real and can be just as damaging as other forms of harassment.
While Donna’s life and hardships were interesting, a lot of the book was redundant. Consent could have been a lot shorter and more enjoyable without the needless repetition.
If you enjoy memoirs, you might enjoy Consent by Donna Freitas!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing the Kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention by Donna Freitas is Donna’s account of the stalking and unwanted attention she faced as a graduate in college.
Donna is a well-published author, a scholar, and knowledgeable in her field, of sex, religion, and consent on college campuses. She’s a sought after speaker and thrives in academia.
Donna is a doctor, a daughter, and a friend. But she’s also a victim.
As a college graduate, one of her professors at her Catholic university–a priest–started taking an inappropriate interest in her. While his attentions weren’t blatantly sexual, they were incessant and unwanted. This priest would call Donna, follow Donna, and fill her mailboxes with letters.
Since he was in a position of power, Donna struggled with how to handle her stalker. He was everywhere. She couldn’t get away from him.
Consent is an in-depth examination of Donna’s nightmarish years as a doctoral candidate being stalked by her professor.
Consent by Donna Freitas was a fascinating read. While it didn’t blow me away, I enjoyed it.
It’s so easy to think of harassment as black and white. Is sending a few letters and making a few phone calls really harassment? Donna does a wonderful job exploring consent and what that really means. Donna didn’t consent to her professor’s attentions. She was an unwilling participant who was subjected to her professor’s repeated and unwanted affection. And her professor was positively relentless in his quest to commandeer Donna’s time.
Unwanted attention is not consent, and this is not okay. Stalking is very real and can be just as damaging as other forms of harassment.
While Donna’s life and hardships were interesting, a lot of the book was redundant. Consent could have been a lot shorter and more enjoyable without the needless repetition.
If you enjoy memoirs, you might enjoy Consent by Donna Freitas!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing the Kindle version of this book in exchange for an honest review.