Reviews

I Loved You More by Tom Spanbauer

barkyblue's review against another edition

4.0

Tom Spanbauer. I love you. Not my favorite book of yours but I loved it nonetheless.

maree_k's review against another edition

challenging emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

Almost gave up on it about 2/3 through but glad I didn’t. It’s a book worth staying witn.

mattpr_co's review against another edition

2.0

I know the background of this story. I've read the author's philosophy on writing. "I Loved You More" though, is not written for me. I lost my patience with the book many times. I understand the device that Spanbauer is using to try to bring you into the narrator's thoughts, but the prose leans tediously nostalgic and repetitive though out much of the book. It's a shame because there is a really good, sincere, warm story in there. The meat of the story could have been preserved and been much shorter in my view.

Fucking book, man.

starnosedmole's review against another edition

4.0

This novel is emotionally intimate and vulnerable in a way that many writers shy away from. Spanbauer beautifully captures the pain, love and nuances of long friendships and mismatched relationships. The book's pacing is uneven, but is well worth sticking with to its finale.

citymiddled's review against another edition

4.0

i cried a really horrifying amount while reading this

sshabein's review against another edition

5.0

Briefly, I debated between The Price of Salt by Patricia Highsmith and this book for my favorite read this year, but what gave I Loved You More its edge was my visceral reaction to it. This book fucked me up in the best way, right when I needed it. While Highsmith keeps a certain amount of narrative distance from the love, lust, loneliness, and longing, Spanbauer dives right in. Mercilessly.

The Goodreads plot description doesn't really do the book justice. The friendship between these two men — Ben, more-or-less gay; Hank, more-or-less straight — is intense and beautiful. For a time, they drift apart, and their reunion is full of its own complications. Because it's partially set in 1980s New York, illness and caregiving play a central part of the story as well.

I cannot recommend this book enough.

(See the rest of my Top 10 Favorites from 2015 at Glorified Love Letters.)

lydiaemilyy's review against another edition

I closed the final page of this novel and couldn't move. And then the tears came.
Spanbauer has written a novel so painful and honest that at times it felt like a physical punch to the gut. This a piece of work that you immerse yourself in. I lived these characters' lives.
Now I'm going to spend the rest of my day feeling not quite sure what to do with myself because I'm still processing all these feelings.

luisterpaul's review

challenging emotional funny reflective sad medium-paced

• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

I want a sixth star, or some other way for this book to stand out among all the others I've rated so highly. The friendship between Ben and Hank is so vivid and real I could never comprehend how they weren't sitting in the room with me every time I looked up from the page.

wiggleallaround's review

5.0

This book almost killed me. I want to snuggle this book and continue to cry for its truth and beauty and devastation. There's so much I want to say about it, but I'm running late for my NYE plans and my mind's all a jumble. My heart too. Let's just say this is my favorite book of 2015.

I'll try to come back and write a proper review later, but I'll leave you with a quote that sums up what Spanbauer's writing was like for me:

"True the way truth can make you wince, make you cry, bring you to your knees....True the way truth can make you wince, make you cry, make you proud."