Reviews tagging 'Stalking'

Educated by Tara Westover

19 reviews

miggyfool's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring mysterious reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0


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vgartner's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0


I started listening to the audiobook knowing that the author was Mormon and didn't receive a formal education until some later point in her life, but not really knowing much else about her story. Most of what I know about Mormonism comes from pop culture (The Book of Mormon, the drama Under the Banner of Heaven, etc.), and while this book is very much about a Mormon family, I wouldn't say I learned a much more about mainstream Mormonism from this memoir.

What Tara Westover centers in her writing is her childhood and adolescent experiences of physical and emotional abuse and her subsequent struggle to become herself and find an understanding of those experiences as part of her history but not the measure of her worth as a person. It's a story of survival and overcoming the deeply ingrained self-betrayal hammered into her via her abusive family members.

Many of her realizations and reflections on her experiences were familiar to me in my own path towards healing similar emotional wounds, but one passage in particular stopped me in my tracks with its clarity of insight:

"'I’m only crying from the pain', I told myself. 'From the pain in my wrist. Not from anything else'.
This moment would define my memory of that night, and of the many nights like it, for a decade. In it I saw myself as unbreakable, as tender as stone. At first I merely believed this, until one day it became the truth. Then I was able to tell myself, without lying, that it didn’t affect me, that he didn’t affect me, because nothing affected me. I didn’t understand how morbidly right I was. How I had hollowed myself out. For all my obsessing over the consequences of that night, I had misunderstood the vital truth: that its not affecting me, that was its effect."


Westover excels at not only describing her experiences with vivid detail and raw emotional honesty, but in identifying how each experience contributed to the story of her life - what decisions she made (which decisions she felt she was able to make); how she tried so hard to exist according to the limits and expectations put to her; how, ultimately, she realized she could no longer continue to obey her family's twisted rules without losing herself totally; the utter devastation she felt in trying to choose herself over her abusers.

One theme that reappears throughout is her father's and brother's use of misogyny to belittle and control her, which, through the course of the book, she slowly begins to understand is just another way they can maker her feel worthless. What I find really interesting is the chapter when she is at BYU and discussing polygamy with a classmate, and how she feels so devalued by that part of her religion, and when prompted by her classmate, refuses at first to acquiesce to her classmates expectation that she simply "pray for faith" for her lack of understanding. She comes so close to explicitly connecting the misogyny employed by her male family members as a more general tool of subjugation of women sanctified by her church's teachings, but never goes there.

Throughout, Westover mostly avoids discussing her personal feelings about Mormonism directly beyond this scene and later, during her PhD, how her chapter on Mormonism was her favorite to write (though maybe this is not fair of me, as I consider her love of Mormon choir music as a more general human experience than specifically part of her faith, which maybe others would disagree with me about). My impression from what little she says and what all she does not say is that she never left her Mormon faith behind when she sought out a path independent from her family, and maybe is unwilling to open that part of her life to public knowledge and discussion. Part of me feels greedy in wanting to know more about how her beliefs changed during her time living as her own person. And possibly she simply decided that was too big a topic for the story she wanted to tell here. But I was left wanting just a bit more on this subject, although overall I wouldn't say the book felt incomplete at all! 

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365daystosummer's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional reflective fast-paced

5.0

I wish I could rate it higher.  Honestly this was a powerful story. Recommend everyone reads once! 

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greatexpectations77's review against another edition

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dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

4.5

Humans are such wonderful and terrifying beings, which I think this book really spells out. They can be so incredibly hurtful and so helpful and dangerous and damaging and also somehow make it out okay. This book is really shocking, but it also shows how deeply mental illness can affect a family and community. I'm really proud of Tara for making it out. This book was a wild read because most memoirs are on lives that happened before Google and you can't actually buy essential oils from their parents at this very moment. The writing style wasn't my favorite, but I thought it was fitting for the story and subject. Definitely a book that I would recommend folks to read. I think it got the publicity that it deserved. I just feel for all the children (all the children) still trapped in that family system. 

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ealfving's review against another edition

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dark sad tense

5.0


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hairtye's review against another edition

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emotional reflective medium-paced

4.5

I really enjoyed experiencing Tara's journey--although there were definitely some not-so-enjoyable events that occurred. I find that Tara's journey was one of both strength and weakness, hopeful and pessimistic, individualistic and communal. There is definitely no right-or-wrong, and there was never a moment of failure in my eyes. For me personally, learning to accept Tara and her journey was more about learning to let go of my past mistakes and to look toward my own future. 

The only reason I did not give this book 5 stars was that I found the writing style slightly choppy. I find that memoirs can be like that (as it's a fast rendition of a life story), but it sometimes took me out when I wanted to learn more but the memory was already over. 

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steenabean's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful inspiring sad tense slow-paced

4.5


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scoobygirl93's review against another edition

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4.0


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glitterdeww's review against another edition

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challenging dark informative inspiring sad tense medium-paced

5.0

Omg. This story... This person. It's been a long time since I've repeatedly yelled at the sky while experiencing an audiobook. 

In Educated, Westover has given an incredible, inspiring, and heartbreakingly traumatic story of her life. I know it will stay with me for the rest of mine.

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taynicole2698's review against another edition

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challenging reflective tense slow-paced

4.0


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