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just_one_more_paige's review
emotional
mysterious
reflective
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
I would never have heard of, nor picked this up, without Libro.fm; so, shoutout to them for the ALC. Because this is also the kind of book that I do really need an audio for - really good, but also really philosophical - so it was the perfect book to listen to. Plus, for real I mean that shoutout, because it seriously was very good.
So, according to Goodreads: "When Eli leaves the cramped Bulgarian apartment he shares with Elizabeth, his more organized and successful wife, he discovers that he now inhabits her body. Not only have he and his wife traded bodies but Elizabeth, living as Eli, has disappeared without a trace. What follows is Eli’s search across Europe to America for his missing wife—and a roving, no-holds-barred exploration of gender and embodied experience. ...This novel is a gender-bending, body-switching novel that explores marriage, identity, and sex, and raises profound questions about the nature of true partnership."
And that is exactly what we got. But also, it's more and less than that. This is one of those novels where, other than the big obvious thing (the body-switching), nothing really happens. And honestly, even that is...mundane...for what it is. And yet, the depth of what we discover about humanity and personhood and being is so much. The observations in these pages about what makes a person - their body and/or all the thoughts and mannerisms that come with it - as well as the differences in how each person relates with those around them, even those with, externally/perception-wise, so much else in common (being US expats, being married to each other, etc.) and how that changes for acquaintances versus closer relations versus oneself and the body one resides in...it was incredible. Similarly, the many different looks at being foreign/an outsider: in a body, as a family member/child, in another country as an expat or a tourist, were woven together with literary finesse. How hard you have to think to act/be someone you aren’t was a fascinating exploration. Like, how you can know a person better than anyone else knows them and still not have any idea what their life experience is or how to *be* them. I had never considered anything like it before, and what a wild thought journey it was. Honestly, this entire read was a remarkable philosophical exercise and theoretical exploration.
And then it was all flipped on its head a bit, in the end, as it closed with a switch to a parental perspective. A super interesting comparative move - an external examination of what, until then, had been internal. I don't know if I liked it, but I don't know if this is even a book I can label as "liked" or "disliked," as it was all so unique and original.
Eli, as the primary narrator, had a strange level of acceptance of other people’s negative opinions of him - how he acted, spoke, dressed, etc. - even and especially the bad ones, without any kind of argument or explanation in his own behalf (like: "they were right to be nervous around my disheveled appearance" or "she was right that I had less ambition/skill than her"). And isn’t that a sad level of influence from others and what society says is “better” or “right” on our own self worth, that we accept what we think we deserve without a fight. I found those pieces really heartbreaking to read. On this same topic, in addition to all the other out of body experiences in these pages, what a truly savage one, to hear someone talk about you unguarded, to hear their unfiltered opinions about you, because you aren't there to hear them. Phew. Intense.
The writing style, a described-in-sweeping-generalizations (with details but not always individually detailed...that's not quite right, but I don't even know how else to describe this observational literary style) account of these characters, of lifestyle/parenting/love, is satirical language in all aspects. And I enjoyed the bit of tongue in cheek it brought. It's smart and observational and honestly a bit, surprisingly, funny (but in a literary way, reminiscent of Big Swiss or The Pisces).
Overall, just a fascinating juxtaposition of how we see ourselves and what we actually are, the type of exploration that is our self-perception and the way others perceive us, and how those so rarely line up. What an unbelievable writing accomplishment. It’s gorgeous, insightful, and so smart. Not my usual fare, and I’m not switching to this genre (whatever it is) as a new favorite or anything, but dang, I’m glad I read this. Impressive.
"People collide. They bounce away after collisions, or veer away to avoid those collisions, creating lives accidentally. Circumstances pinball people together. This is called fate because chance is too scary a word. People collide. People collide."
“Perhaps neither of us was equipped to see themself.”
“Being at the center of something enormous often means you’re the last person to make sense of what happened. Understanding is for outsiders.”
“...and I had, naively, considered these tragedies proof of America's uniquely wicked society. What an insidious form of exceptionalism. Terror was universal. Trigger-happy men existed all over the world, ready to sublimate fear into murder.” (the exceptionalism of us being the only violent/fear based western nation is ridiculous, and I don't want that to be as comforting as it feels, because that's definitely the wrong takeaway message)
“But grief never proceeds how anyone expects. Grief stutters and ruptures and upturns and stomps.”
“Stability is the cost of stability.”
“How empty ambition renders a person.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Mass/school shootings
Moderate: Bullying
Minor: Xenophobia
khakipantsofsex's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Animal death, Bullying, Eating disorder, Gun violence, Self harm, and Suicide