Reviews tagging 'Panic attacks/disorders'

Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás

9 reviews

fanboyriot's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Read For:

✓ Slow Burn

✓ Forbidden Love 

✓ Religious Themes

✓ Hurt/Comfort (mostly hurt)

✓ Amazing Character Development

˗ˏˋ ★ REVIEW ★ ˎˊ˗

A bit of a slow start for me, it took me several chapters to get into the writing style but after that I really enjoyed it, the author did a great job with the descriptions and character development.  Part one of the book was really good.  The storyline, the trust building between Lucifer and Michael was so wholesome.  And while it might have taken me a moment for me to get into the story the characters I loved right away; especially Lucifer.  He was my favorite.

Overall, it was a really beautifully written story; but also VERY emotional and a bit unhinged, in the second part of the book.  It was written really well but damn, was not expecting all of that.

Spice Level: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

Angst Level: 💧💧💧💧💧

POV: Third Person

Release Date: 24, September 2023

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal death, Body horror, Body shaming, Death, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Blood, Religious bigotry, Murder, Gaslighting, Abandonment, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Hate crime, Homophobia, Incest, Panic attacks/disorders, Vomit, Medical content, Grief, Suicide attempt, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Fire/Fire injury, Alcohol, Sexual harassment, and War

Minor: Confinement, Cursing, Physical abuse, Toxic relationship, and Toxic friendship

biobeetle's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Religious bigotry, and Abandonment

Moderate: Medical content and War

Minor: Rape

axel_p's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

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Content Warnings

Minor: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Child abuse, Confinement, Emotional abuse, Gore, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Blood, Medical content, Grief, Religious bigotry, Fire/Fire injury, Gaslighting, Abandonment, Alcohol, Dysphoria, War, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism

sophiasoler's review against another edition

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i wish i had the words to describe this book. lucifer’s internal conflict was difficult to read and so familiar. he was created to be a servant and was punished for his very birth. it is such a crime to be human. to be of flesh and blood. to be breakable, fragile, and unworthy. to be human is to be searching for meaning and something in this large abyss and to learn that there is nothing. even the one created you, who forced you into this world, does not want you as you are. to be human is to try and change everything about yourself and to be cursed with the knowledge that it will never be enough. this was such a beautiful and eloquent expression of humanity and its complexities in the form of lucifer’s fall. i wish i could reread it tenderly as if i had never read it before, and re-experience everything over and over again. this was very cruel, and i think i will read anything rafael nicholás writes.

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Sexual content, Violence, War, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Rape

purrson's review against another edition

I couldn’t finish this, at least for now. As Lucifer

recovers from being assaulted in Eden, and shields Michael (again) from how God harmed him, he encourages the angels to harm a bird he’s taken from Eden, to see how far they’ll go for his approval, Something about that scene, even though I read past it, stuck with me, and became too much. It’s how visceral Lucifer’s pain is, how he’s spiraling out of control, but still so intelligent and sensitive. It was too painful to read somehow. I wanted someone to tell Michael so that Lucifer would have someone truly on his side, all the way, I wanted Justice for him, but we know how this story ends.

It was all too sad for me, maybe a little too triggering. It’s a beautifully written book. Maybe I’ll come back to it at some point in the future. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Emotional abuse, Blood, Grief, and Gaslighting

Moderate: Bullying, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual assault, and Injury/Injury detail

Minor: Animal cruelty and Animal death

readingemm's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes

5.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Emotional abuse, Gore, Self harm, Violence, Blood, Grief, and Abandonment

Moderate: Incest, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Blood, Suicide attempt, and Fire/Fire injury

madscanread's review

dark emotional medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The slow corruption of a pure, innocent angel to a hysterical, unstable beast spurred on by a cruel, jealous father. A book to make you hate god viscerally and while not making you love Lucifer, it at the very least makes you understand and mourn for him.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Body horror, Emotional abuse, Gore, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Cannibalism

Moderate: Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and War

Minor: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Confinement, Incest, Panic attacks/disorders, and Injury/Injury detail

tinyelfarcanist's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 “Angel of beauty.” That’s what Lucifer has been called from the moment of his creation. Ashamed of his appearance, he wants nothing more than to spend his days worshipping God. That is until archangel Michael grabs his attention. A lyrical retelling of Lucifer's fall.

This is one of the darkest books I've read and I suggest you look at the content warnings before diving into this one. The following is a list of the topics included in my review, just a meagre example of those contained in this novel.

CW: swearing, blasphemy, and mention of wicked acts.

"He is beautiful," the seraph said as the cherub cried out from a scathingly sore throat. "The most magnificent of all your angels, Father."

I loved the prose reflecting Lucifer’s mental state. Lucifer is an interesting character if unappealing at times.

This book is split into two distinct sections. I divided my review as such. Don't be fooled by the sweetness of the first part, this book doesn't shy away from picturing the depravity that a tortured individual is driven to.

Part 1:

So. Fucking. Cute. A naive and recently created Lucifer shares sweet banter with other playful angels in Heaven...

What else could an angel be but happy?

On the surface, this is a story about a beloved bard finding his purpose, a story about a narcissistic pimp and his favourite twink. A story about angels in love.

Why would God make him so beautiful if that beauty wasn’t meant to be admired?

Paradise is not what it seems.

Part 2:

Looking deeper, this is a commentary on jealousy, identity, and religious trauma.

The Lord said, "Sing, angel," His voice all-encompassing, "and you will be saved." Lucifer did so, fearing his God.

For a restless angel like Lucifer, mindless worshipping and hedonism won’t do.

Angels Before Man is powerful in its painfully accurate depictions of depression, wrath, passion, and pride. It is a blasphemous display of the unforgiving Father and the angel who was punished for questioning.

God may have created his equal. He made a perfect angel, and He will soon discover that power corrupts. Lucifer grows more spiteful every time he’s reprimanded.

Let’s not forget that for all of Lucifer’s deviousness, he is God’s creation. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Body shaming, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gore, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, Violence, Blood, Religious bigotry, Suicide attempt, Murder, Gaslighting, and Alcohol

Moderate: Homophobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Fire/Fire injury

lizardgod's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

• Spoiler Free Review
• Angels Before Man is a wonderfully written book and creative retelling of Lucifer's fall from Heaven. The way Nicolás begins the book as an airy, feel good fluff story but begins to slowly incorporate the themes of horror and manipulation is unlike anything I've read in a long time. As you read about the angels lives being wonderful and fulfilling, Nicolás will insert a scene regarding Lucifer that makes you think 'this is it, this is when things are going downhill', he pulls back in a subtle way to lull you back into a false sense of serenity. The gradual back and forth between horrific scenes and the wonders of Heaven put me on edge wondering so that when the climax truly began, it was capturing. The characters around Lucifer weren't static and the pain they go through is just as impactful as what Lucifer goes through. 
• I see other readers reviews stating they took the themes as 'homosexuality is a sin' and I do agree, but that's the point. Angels Before Man is a religious commentary overall, one that is angry and hurt with how God is portrayed and angry with the people who follow that god. If you haven't experienced religious trauma in a similar way, I understand why it may seem Nicolás is wagging a finger a being gay, but he is instead showing just how convoluted religion, in this case Christianity, truly is. While I would recommend Angels Before Man to those seeking a diverse LGBTQ story dripping with religious disdain, there are still points that draw from it leading to why I put it below a 5 star rating.  
•  I  appreciate when books, especially when it comes to themes of angels, make their characters diverse in not only personality but also in their race. My issue comes with the fact each time a darker colored character is introduced in many books, including Angels Before Man, they are compared to the color of food with instances such as a black angel having 'cocoa' colored eyes. It's only a few mentions, but one is still too many. 
• When the angels are addressing each other they all call each other 'brother' similar to other religions as a way to further ensure people do not stray from the religion to make it seem they would also stray from their 'family'. Even with this being said, it was still greatly off-putting that when angels (slight spoiler?) begin to be sexual with another and they continued to refer to each other as 'brother'. 
• The ending internal monologue was a struggle to get through. While I was focused on the events happening, Lucifer's internal monologue was an absolute drain. It's wordy and extensive with no real purpose after several instances of it. When his internal monologue begins to really pick up towards about 60% through, it's perfectly done, however by the end where his monologue is several paragraphs long of generalized religious symbolism I ended up just skimming through it. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Animal cruelty, Animal death, Body horror, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Gore, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Self harm, Sexual content, Torture, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Grief, Murder, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Abandonment, Alcohol, War, and Injury/Injury detail

Moderate: Incest, Sexual assault, and Vomit