Reviews with content warning for Gaslighting - The Woman in Me

I listened to this on audiobook narrated by Michelle Williams and highly recommend. I was so connected with listening to this story, and even though I wouldn't say Michelle Williams sounds like Britney, I genuinely did forget it wasn't Britney narrating her own story.

For anyone who ever has had a connection with Britney Spears whether it's listening to her music as a child, coveting the Britney Barbie, experiencing your first concert as a Britney one (The Onyx Hotel which truly mortified my mother thanks to how sexualised it was, which Britney agreed with, haha) and then watching from afar as Britney fell into a very dark place, didn't seem well and eventually the world learned how she had been controlled. I'll be the first to admit as well that I took a step back from following Britney on social media in the last couple of years as I felt she was still someone who needed mental health help, and some of her erratic behaviour on Instagram made me feel uncomfortable. But this book, hearing Britney's story from Britney herself for the first time as really made me look at her differently and I truly admire her for even being able to get up and do another day after everything she has been through, and how she was exploited by pretty much everyone in her life.

While the book does feel a bit short, and there were certain times I would have loved to have spent more time in areas of her life, I also understand Britney maybe not having the right memories or the emotional to spend any longer than she needed to. I think she is someone who was always prone to feeling a lot, possibly an empath, and should have been someone who was always supported professionally with a good therapist who could have helped her more with the hard parts of her career, and her heartbreak over JT which seemed to take a massive toll on her in a way that if anyone suffered like that after a heartbreak, is not a healthy way to deal.

I think what Britney suffered in the conservatorship and how her mother, father and siblings plus her management exploited her was truly disgusting and I never understood the level of this until reading it in this book. I'm so glad that Britney was finally able to speak her truth and lay out how much she was hurting for so long. Her father in particular deserves to rot for what he did, and it was alarming to learn at the very start that locking vulnerable women up was a family tradition.

I was bet into this book, loved it as much as you can 'love' learning about someone's trauma and release from a terrible situation and only wish Britney the best of things from now on and I truly hope she finds the peace and happiness she deserves. And I would also love some new music, won't lie.

Content Warnings

sophilozophy's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

Now the protagonist in so many tales over the years takes back the narrative to literally become the author of her own story. After years of being silenced, she's letting her voice be heard again… and it's compelling.

The Woman in Me is the first memoir that I’ve read so far. I remember listening to her music when I was young. Recently I got my old CD/DVD Binder from back in the day and saw that I actually own physical copies of Britney’s music. She came up around the time that peer-to-peer file sharing was getting popular and before access to online music stores became the norm to the point that the majority–including myself with few exceptions–don’t purchase physical CDs anymore. I think the fact that she was an artist that I grew up listening to as well as all the information floating around online that wasn’t from her perspective, but in my mind to make money off her name was a reason why I chose to read her memoir. She has a right to be heard and she isn’t shying away from using her voice now like she did on June 23, 2021.

The book was written in a very easy way to read. I don’t mean in terms of what is being told, but how. I remember tweeting that the number of pages–288–could mean that the book wouldn’t be as real and in-depth as everyone was hoping. After reading the book, I can say that wasn’t the case at all. There were a lot of raw moments, but I think the fact that the writing style was very straight to the point–this is what the public saw through the salacious headlines of gossip blogs and magazines, what really was going on, how it affected her–and not full of unnecessary elaboration and soliloquies is why it has so many revelations in what I thought wouldn’t be enough pages. Like the middle book syndrome that doesn’t live up to the first and/or is just a filler.

I felt the fear and pain of Britney through the pages during the increasing bloodlust–I think that is the best word–of the paparazzi, during her conservatorship and betrayal of her family. I see the current headlines, but I personally don’t know if the media are outraged or if it’s just the different gossip blogs and magazines using her again for headlines, but framing it to fit the “we’re on Britney’s side” narrator that will get them the most clicks today.

There were a few times that Britney mentioned not being fit for the public eye. I personally don’t know if anyone is really made for that kind of life 24/7 and wonder how things would have turned out if she took more breaks in between album cycles like other artists.

Britney took responsibility for her actions like the time she yelled at a child actor thinking she was protecting her sister after being told that she was being mean to her on the set of her show. She was pregnant at the time and is a “real mama bear”–her words, not mine. We all make mistakes and it’s great that she owns up to the mistake, but am curious why she didn’t mention the actress by name. The fact that it was Alexa Nikolas is known. She said that her sister lied to her and how horrible the experience was as a child and a fan of Britney.

It’s moments like these and for example, walking on a film set uninvited and getting to sit in the director’s chair that show that Britney knew the power she had. I guess events in life along with other complications–that she writes about–made her forget and feel powerless.

She talks about the difference in the press when it comes to female and male celebrities. The discrepancies are very real and gave the world the perception that she was on a downward spiral. I think one could say–and even Britney admits–that she was having a tough time and needed help, but a 13-year conservatorship? I don’t think so.

Her family failed her–on multiple levels–and actually made the situation worse. It seems that failure is generational when Brintey talks about her grandmother Jean–whom she got her middle name from. She was also placed in a hospital and medicated with lithium. If I were her, I would cut off my family too. They have what they seem to want most now–money. This shows how money really changes people–her mother, sister and brother–or brings out the worst in people and makes them greedy for more despite already having more than they worked for–her father. I will never understand how they were able to put her under conservatorship because she was reportedly unable to care for herself and her finances, but healthy enough to be on TV shows, releasing music and on tours for years.

On February 1, 2008, she was involuntarily placed under a conservatorship by Judge Reva Goetz, with her father, James “Jamie” Spears, and attorney Andrew M. Wallet, as conservators. The episode of How I Met Your Mother that featured Britney aired on March 24, 2008. With how quickly she was placed under a conservatorship, one would assume that a person in that situation is in a crisis and in need of immediate help, but strangely healthy enough to work on the set of a TV show.

The fact that her father with his particular history and connection to others involved in getting Britney into a conservatorship without probably being investigated is mind-blowing to me. Didn’t the judge want to at least meet Britney and hear her out first? Maybe put a third party in place while they scrutinized her father, which would have uncovered reasons why he specifically is unfit to be a conservator. She describes a moment after the conservatorship was put in place and what her father said. It sent chills up my spine.

One of many scary moments in the book was when it seemed like the people overseeing her and doctors were working together after she was sent away for not wanting to do a particular dance routine because she was older and it looked really challenging. Shouldn’t therapists and doctors act independently of the conservator? The facility she was sent to costs sixty thousand dollars a month and the decision was made after she supposedly failed psychological tests. Apparently, her cognitive abilities were just fine to get ready for a Vegas residency she didn’t want to do, but not good enough after refusing to do a particular routine. Very suspicious.

The more I look at the circumstances, the more I think why nobody evaluated the situation. I guess it wasn’t in anyone’s interest to stop it, but one would hope that the legal system is set up to ultimately stop injustices like abuse of conservatorship from happening.

I wonder if Britney had reported her father for conservatorship abuse earlier, would it have ended then? I’m by no means putting any blame on her. She was overwhelmed by everything happening around her–to say the least. I just wonder if it would have set off the alarm that needed to go off or be used against her.

There were two moments in the book when she–in my opinion–spoke negatively about Christina Aguilera. The two have always been pitted against one another in the media–unnecessarily so if you ask me since they are completely different people and artists. In the book, she mentions the negativity and unfairness in the press because she is a woman, but then makes a comment about how Christina “seemed pretty messed up” on a night out with dancers in Los Angeles. Very vague and open to a lot of interpretation. I thought when I read that, aren’t you doing exactly what you wouldn’t want yourself? That is apparently what she thought about that night and she has a right to speak, but I wish she wouldn’t have mentioned it at all because it came off as somewhat petty–which we all can be at times.
It could come across as payback for Christina Aguilera dodging a question about the termination of her conservatorship at the 2021 Latin Grammy Awards or maybe just being a peer and not having to go through the same thing despite being “pretty messed up”–in her mind. That comment makes me question the motives when it could just have been a harmless observation and people–more exactly me–could interpret more than it really was meant to be. I obviously don’t know and understand why, but I guess it was important for her to mention.

I think because of everything that has happened to Britney Spears she gets handled with care–as some in my life probably do with me–whereas we would at the very least question others. It is really hard for me to find fault with someone in general, but especially someone who has been through it. There is no maliciousness meant with any of my thoughts. I just want to be honest with my thoughts and ruminate on the things she wrote about in her book.
Nobody is beyond reproach. I hope I’m expressing my thoughts as carefully as possible without censoring myself. Most people don’t take the time and effort to express a contradicting thought or view without being disrespectful.

Britney talks about the fact that she didn’t like old friends to speak about her–in reference to the documentaries–without consulting her first. Why doesn’t this apply to Christina Aguilera? Due to the conservatorship, it would have been difficult or even impossible to contact her without her conservator or someone on the team reporting that kind of communication since she said her devices were being monitored. Some of those people might have spoken out for publicity, but I have a hard time thinking that when it comes to people like Felicia Culotta, her former personal assistant from 1998 to 2007. She kept Britney’s secret–one very big one involving an ex–to this day and only spoke out in support. But these are her feelings and therefore valid.

It’s complicated. On one hand, she wants people–in this scenario Christina–to speak about her even though they haven’t known each other for years at this point, but doesn’t want to be spoken about without her permission.
It seems like Christina–and anyone Brintey deems–is in a lose-lose situation. But that’s her prerogative. Don’t we all do the same or something similar, just not on a global stage.

Christina Aguilera has actually spoken–<a href="https://twitter.com/xtina/status/1409673267808329730">tweeted</a> to be exact–in support of Britney after she spoke about her conservatorship for the first time in 2021. The anger about what was done to her is understandable but misplaced in this case from my perspective.

I am glad that Britney Spears was able to say her piece and speak freely. I just hope that she can understand any critique that isn’t given with malice because after everything she has been through it could be hard to take any commentary that isn’t 100% positive.

I hope it goes without saying, but I am going to anyways that any critique of her doesn’t mean she deserved to be in a conservatorship. More than one thing can be true at a time.

It’s clear why she didn’t do any interviews for the book release or in general, but there are some questions I still have. For example, she never liked that her team and the press portrayed her as an eternal virgin despite–as mentioned in the book–losing her virginity before she even became an artist. While I understand that she went with her team as a young artist, there are moments when she makes us feel like she was calling the shots–rightfully so since it’s her image. She actively promoted this image and profited off the juxtaposition when her image became more sexual to some or to others just embracing her womanhood in the way she saw fit and had a right to do. To be clear–which I really hope comes across, these are all her choices to make and I support her right to do that. Her sexuality or reasons behind her image is no one’s business, but her own. There are just moments when she seems so in control and then so innocent, placing the blame completely on other people even when there came a time she could have tried to control that narrative. I don’t think that mix between being grown yet acting young in some aspects is uncommon for adults, especially young adults–we all have an inner child. It’s just something I’d want to ask precise questions about–no right or wrong answers–just clarifications, but accept what she has made known now which is more than anyone deserves unless she chooses otherwise.

I wouldn’t want to be anyone involved in this conservatorship. That’s the type of guilt–and I hope those involved have the capacity to feel that emotion–that manifests itself as something negative like an unhappy life or takes you to an early grave. It says a lot that her mother and sister did interviews and used her name to promote themselves, but haven’t publicly apologized to date. While I do think that conversation should be private, at the same time the betrayal was very public. Plus Britney has understandably chosen to sever ties with her family.

I appreciate Britney’s candidness in recounting the hard moments of her life. I found raw revelations in the book about her experiences with the media, her family and conservatorship, as well as her critique on the discrepancies in regards to her, but also generally for women in the industry.

There are so many other revelations in the book that I could also start discussing, but I recommend you pick up the book and get an insight into what she has been through in her own words and not from the headlines about certain salacious moments in her memoir to achieve clicks. That’s one of the things that helped push a certain narrative without keeping in mind that she is a person first and not just a public figure for the world’s entertainment.

I wish Britney Spears all the best and hope she has the happy life she deserves.

Check out some quotes–at least one from each chapter–on my blog: https://bookendeavours.wordpress.com/2023/10/30/booktalk-the-woman-in-me-britney-spears/

Content Warnings

britt_thebookworm's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring sad tense medium-paced

3.25

Content Warnings

jdieperink's review against another edition

Go to review page

challenging emotional fast-paced

I’ll be honest, I don’t know how to rate this book. It was moving and disturbing and, at times repetitive. But every time I would start to check out, she’d pull me back in and I’d end up crying on public transit (I don’t recommend listening to the part where she finds out about the #freebritney movement while on the train).

I do recommend the audiobook version, what Michelle Williams does is not overhyped. I kept forgetting someone else was doing the narration.

There were elements of it that read to me like when conservative (lower case c conservative or upper case C, Britney Spears doesn’t get into politics) white woman pick up surface pieces of feminism for relatability but also, she’s not claiming to be a scholar.

It’s a good reminder that the practice of locking up “hysterical” women is not actually a relic of the past and is alive and well. It’s also a good reminder to read some more about disability justice.

Content Warnings

seasonedreadings's review against another edition

Go to review page

dark emotional sad fast-paced

5.0

Content Warnings

More...