the_knitted_reader's review against another edition
3.0
Did not actually finish - I discovered her Mormon Stories interview, and hearing her talk about her experiences was much more enjoyable than reading.
misspalah's review against another edition
3.0
My eyes can't open wide enough. All this green feels like a silent rebuttal. Out here in this wild forest draped in growth, there is none of that sense of enclosure, none of that deadened, callused feeling. Inside this rainforest that cannot be tamed or controlled, so much life is constantly changing and rustling and cawing and growing. Out here, the only eyes watching are the hundreds of species that we can't see, the ones that at night will light this forest with dots of iridescence. When I'm away from the strictures and structures, it feels abundantly clear that there cannot be just one way - no rule book I'm supposed to be following. Out here, the tightness inside my body loosens. The word good seems irrelevant. The grip of bad gives way. All those rules that have for so long pressed on me are like the light from a star that's burned out, the last flicker of something that once existed.
- The book of separation by Tova Mirvis
.
.
It is an endless circle of uncertainty - one minute, she’s happy that she’s leaving ultra orthodox jewish communities. The next minute, she’s wondering whether its a right decision. One moment, she felt free and finally released herself from restraint and restrictions and another moment, having a designated purpose seems to govern her life accordingly. At the age of 40, Tova Mirvis decided to defect from her community and faith she grew up with and eventually got a divorce from her husband, Aaron. She told her stories in a non linear ways - more like a recollection of events she encountered - her interactions with her former husband (from the first meeting to the part whereby the divorce is finalised), her discussion with all of her 3 kids (in a reflective manner especially when her kids asked about certain rules (kosher and non kosher pizza, for example) and teaching (she’s torn between i am an outsider now, its not my place to answer this or as a mother, you should follow it and you will understand why later) and even her own parents (though quite liberal in rules but still considered themselves orthodox jews). She recounted how both her brother and sister embraced judaism in a different way - although all of them has been to Israel and learned jewish text - one is more spiritual orthodox jewish, one followed more modern in the interpretation of what’s like to be jewish. She’s also revealed many previous incidents which she’d questioned why this action and that action is permissible / forbidden , why Talmud only can be studied by men - which she lamented that she didn’t get the right answer or people just straight up accusing her for stirring up some nonsense. Ultimately, she’s decided enough is enough and left for good. The only problem is how to get over something that has been a part of you for as long as you can remember? The identity, Ideas, rituals, sense of belongingness , and even the community where you can celebrate your belief faithfully. I think this is why Tova Mirvis decided to write this memoir - to share what it’s like to finally be free (at least for her). I learned a-lot about Judaism from this book - particularly orthodox judaism. The attire for both men and women (like yarmulke and fall - hair covering, women cannot wear pants) , what you can do and cannot do during festivities like rosh hashanah, yom kippur, passover, sukkot and shabbat, the rigid rules and restrictions in the community (for example, many women struggling to conceive as they are missing an ovulation period simply because the time was not permissible to be with the husband) is highlighted in the book. What surprised me the most is how sheltered she was from all the extravagant USA holidays event. Seeing how reluctant she was to celebrate halloween with her kids in the first place is a bit unexpected since it was celebrated all over the USA. Even its not part of judaism, but participating as An American should be okay, isn’t it? (at least that’s what i thought
- The book of separation by Tova Mirvis
.
.
It is an endless circle of uncertainty - one minute, she’s happy that she’s leaving ultra orthodox jewish communities. The next minute, she’s wondering whether its a right decision. One moment, she felt free and finally released herself from restraint and restrictions and another moment, having a designated purpose seems to govern her life accordingly. At the age of 40, Tova Mirvis decided to defect from her community and faith she grew up with and eventually got a divorce from her husband, Aaron. She told her stories in a non linear ways - more like a recollection of events she encountered - her interactions with her former husband (from the first meeting to the part whereby the divorce is finalised), her discussion with all of her 3 kids (in a reflective manner especially when her kids asked about certain rules (kosher and non kosher pizza, for example) and teaching (she’s torn between i am an outsider now, its not my place to answer this or as a mother, you should follow it and you will understand why later) and even her own parents (though quite liberal in rules but still considered themselves orthodox jews). She recounted how both her brother and sister embraced judaism in a different way - although all of them has been to Israel and learned jewish text - one is more spiritual orthodox jewish, one followed more modern in the interpretation of what’s like to be jewish. She’s also revealed many previous incidents which she’d questioned why this action and that action is permissible / forbidden , why Talmud only can be studied by men - which she lamented that she didn’t get the right answer or people just straight up accusing her for stirring up some nonsense. Ultimately, she’s decided enough is enough and left for good. The only problem is how to get over something that has been a part of you for as long as you can remember? The identity, Ideas, rituals, sense of belongingness , and even the community where you can celebrate your belief faithfully. I think this is why Tova Mirvis decided to write this memoir - to share what it’s like to finally be free (at least for her). I learned a-lot about Judaism from this book - particularly orthodox judaism. The attire for both men and women (like yarmulke and fall - hair covering, women cannot wear pants) , what you can do and cannot do during festivities like rosh hashanah, yom kippur, passover, sukkot and shabbat, the rigid rules and restrictions in the community (for example, many women struggling to conceive as they are missing an ovulation period simply because the time was not permissible to be with the husband) is highlighted in the book. What surprised me the most is how sheltered she was from all the extravagant USA holidays event. Seeing how reluctant she was to celebrate halloween with her kids in the first place is a bit unexpected since it was celebrated all over the USA. Even its not part of judaism, but participating as An American should be okay, isn’t it? (at least that’s what i thought
bkish's review against another edition
4.0
This is one of those reads that is Definitely not for all. First it is about a woman who divorces her husband after 16 yrs and 3 children. It is her story and she is a novelist. Anyway that subject would be of interest to many many people. What is distinctive here is she is an orthodox Jew. That presents many unique issues that I believe most people will not understand or tolerate. This woman Tova has a huge mountain to climb and for me as a Jew who is not orthodox it was incredibly revealing honest and moving.
Judy
Judy
jess_segraves's review against another edition
5.0
Rarely do I encounter a memoir that I earmark to re-read again in the future, yet The Book of Separation is that one. With beautiful prose that long-time fans will recognize from her fictional works, Mirvis unravels the threads of her marriage and her faith. It's a story of losing one's religion in order to be free, but it's also a story of Mirvis leaving her marriage to live more truthfully.
What I loved about this book is that it does not rely on saccharine language or self-deprecation in her self-discovery. Her concerns seem real and tangible, even for those of us in young marriages or happy ones. There are revelations that any of us can recognize in ourselves.
I received a galley of this book from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt via NetGalley to read and review. This has not impacted my thoughts or opinions about this book.
What I loved about this book is that it does not rely on saccharine language or self-deprecation in her self-discovery. Her concerns seem real and tangible, even for those of us in young marriages or happy ones. There are revelations that any of us can recognize in ourselves.
I received a galley of this book from Houghton Mifflin Harcourt via NetGalley to read and review. This has not impacted my thoughts or opinions about this book.
aurifela's review against another edition
4.0
hard read for my heart. hits close to home. wish I had joy on the other side of freedom...
callywog's review against another edition
LOVE this book! I could really relate to it as someone who left a different religion.
One quote that I highlighted was “religion is designed to divide people; it’s not a search for truth but an exclusive club.”
Another quote that brought me to tears “you’re allowed to change, even when it’s painful. You’re allowed to decide who you want to be.”
One quote that I highlighted was “religion is designed to divide people; it’s not a search for truth but an exclusive club.”
Another quote that brought me to tears “you’re allowed to change, even when it’s painful. You’re allowed to decide who you want to be.”
shano25's review against another edition
4.0
More like a 3.5 for me. It's an incredible story and her writing is absolutely beautiful (it's obvious that she writes fiction, this book reads as a novel) but toward the end I felt like it was being a little drawn out. It would have finished better for me if the concluding chapters were organized differently.
ewebrown's review against another edition
4.0
The writing is wonderful, much improved from her previous work. I could relate to everything in this book - regarding religion. So well done.
cfrisch's review against another edition
2.0
Probably better memoirs out there. The back and forth of time seemed unnecessary.