lleullawgyffes's review against another edition
4.0
“Waxba gabaygu yuu ila gudbine, waxaan ku soo gooyey:
Ilmo gobo’ leh dhiiggaa guntamay, garashadaa ooydey
Gurracaa dhexdiinnii galiyo, gaalo-kala-raaca
Garab-garab-ku-riix iyo mid kale, gooni-ula-foofka
Nin garaadkii lacag siistey baa, subay dhulkinniiye
Gebi buu ka tuuroo dalkii, gaasna qabadsiiye
Doollarkuu guranayiyo isaga, gaadhigaw dan ahe
Ubadkiisa waa kaa gurtee, geeyey meel kale’e
Geyi reer galbeed buu u raray, gebi ahaantoodba
Idinkana is googgoosta buu, idinku gubaabshay.
Gacal iyo sokeeyaad tihiin, geesh walaallo ahe
Oo guriba guri garanayoo, laysu soo gelo’e
Oon geeri mooye marnaba, geeddi kala geyne
Ee goosankiinnaa hadhoow, nabad is gaadhsiiya!
//
Bringing these gabay verses to an end, I must conclude:
tears sluice from eyes, blood slows and minds dull
with no morals, with these betrayals of trust,
this shoving one another with shoulders, trying to get rid of each other.
Unscrupulously manipulated, a devious man has razed your land,
has set fire to it, then thrown on more gas,
has set his sights on making capital from cunning, making dollars and a car,
has taken his children abroad, to a safer place,
to a western country. He has carefully relocated them all
whilst you kill each other indiscriminately, at his encouragement.
You are kin, you are blood brothers and sisters.
Each house knows their neighbours, who comes and goes.
Only death should part you, you mustn’t flee.
Remain and, though divided, try to make a mutual peace.”
(from “Garrac” / “Unscrupulous”)
*
“Dareen kaa i farayee ma rabin inaan ku daalaye
Duul hore u lumay baan intaa doon i leeyahaye
Dib waxan u dhaca ahayn ayay doon i leeyahaye
Damal aan hore u waway bay doon i leeyahaye
Geesi iilka lagu duugay bay doon i leeyahye
Kuwo doon la wada caariday doon i leeyahye
Qaxootiga dabayl raacay bay dooni leeyahye.
//
I wouldn’t choose this, but duty compels me
to seek out and recover our long lost dear ones,
to replace this backwardness with something lasting,
to find the long uprooted gathering tree,
and keep remembering heroes buried in the earth,
and those who have lost their lives in shipwrecks,
and the reckless refugees riding the wild sea.”
(from “Daabaqad” / “The Mark”)
*
“Buruudkii inan-ragow!
Badheedha geesigow!
Bildhalad kaan doortayow!
Birlabtii aan jabayn
Bayaan baa loo xushaaye,
Raggaba kaan kala baxoow!
Waxann ku badhaadhi laa
Bushaaradda faraxaliyo
Bil khayr ii noqon lahayd
Naftani ku bogsoon lahayd
Bidhaantaadoo qudhee,
Hadmaan baxsanow ku heli?
//
You’re admired by men,
a brave hero.
Be my new moon —
unbreakable metal,
the desire of my being,
the best of all souls.
What comfort it would be
to hear that bright news.
Such balm to welcome you,
to abate the anxiety —
to behold you.
When, Beloved, will that be?”
(from “Baxsanow” / “Beloved”)
*
aside from the issue I noted as I was reading of Clare Pollard repeatedly rendering words that just mean “god” as “Allah”, I have some serious reservations about the Poetry Translation Centre’s practice, and in particular the fact that while Said Jama Hussein and Maxamed Xasan “Alto” are listed as collaborators and their bios appear in the “About the authors” section, neither of their names appears on the front cover, and Clare Pollard (who doesn’t speak Somali) is the only person whose reflections on the process of translation we actually hear. the fact that, for example, the Goodreads listing for this book didn’t include either of the Somali-speakers who made Pollard’s versions of the poems possible makes it clear that the Poetry Translation Centre didn’t do a good enough job with the simplest task they had, to just #NameTheTranslator. beyond that issue, I also honestly think the whole process — bring in native speakers or experts to provide literal translations and context and then have an anglophone poet “translate” more artistically — is kind of suspect.
I do also wish Pollard had made an effort to retain more alliteration — her version of “Tahriib” / “The Sea-Migrations” shows that it’s possible to do (even if I’m sure it’s difficult!) in a way that will feel natural for English-readers, but after that her attempts are sporadic and don’t extend through the whole poem, even, perplexingly, for poems that specifically say they’re alliterative. there were also some minor register problems (e.g., the poem that suddenly was throwing around the scientific name of hydnora abyssinica).
so, in conclusion: I liked these poems, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was just something off about the whole book. probably won’t read anything from the Poetry Translation Centre again unless I know the translator knows the source language. it’s just too weird.
Ilmo gobo’ leh dhiiggaa guntamay, garashadaa ooydey
Gurracaa dhexdiinnii galiyo, gaalo-kala-raaca
Garab-garab-ku-riix iyo mid kale, gooni-ula-foofka
Nin garaadkii lacag siistey baa, subay dhulkinniiye
Gebi buu ka tuuroo dalkii, gaasna qabadsiiye
Doollarkuu guranayiyo isaga, gaadhigaw dan ahe
Ubadkiisa waa kaa gurtee, geeyey meel kale’e
Geyi reer galbeed buu u raray, gebi ahaantoodba
Idinkana is googgoosta buu, idinku gubaabshay.
Gacal iyo sokeeyaad tihiin, geesh walaallo ahe
Oo guriba guri garanayoo, laysu soo gelo’e
Oon geeri mooye marnaba, geeddi kala geyne
Ee goosankiinnaa hadhoow, nabad is gaadhsiiya!
//
Bringing these gabay verses to an end, I must conclude:
tears sluice from eyes, blood slows and minds dull
with no morals, with these betrayals of trust,
this shoving one another with shoulders, trying to get rid of each other.
Unscrupulously manipulated, a devious man has razed your land,
has set fire to it, then thrown on more gas,
has set his sights on making capital from cunning, making dollars and a car,
has taken his children abroad, to a safer place,
to a western country. He has carefully relocated them all
whilst you kill each other indiscriminately, at his encouragement.
You are kin, you are blood brothers and sisters.
Each house knows their neighbours, who comes and goes.
Only death should part you, you mustn’t flee.
Remain and, though divided, try to make a mutual peace.”
(from “Garrac” / “Unscrupulous”)
*
“Dareen kaa i farayee ma rabin inaan ku daalaye
Duul hore u lumay baan intaa doon i leeyahaye
Dib waxan u dhaca ahayn ayay doon i leeyahaye
Damal aan hore u waway bay doon i leeyahaye
Geesi iilka lagu duugay bay doon i leeyahye
Kuwo doon la wada caariday doon i leeyahye
Qaxootiga dabayl raacay bay dooni leeyahye.
//
I wouldn’t choose this, but duty compels me
to seek out and recover our long lost dear ones,
to replace this backwardness with something lasting,
to find the long uprooted gathering tree,
and keep remembering heroes buried in the earth,
and those who have lost their lives in shipwrecks,
and the reckless refugees riding the wild sea.”
(from “Daabaqad” / “The Mark”)
*
“Buruudkii inan-ragow!
Badheedha geesigow!
Bildhalad kaan doortayow!
Birlabtii aan jabayn
Bayaan baa loo xushaaye,
Raggaba kaan kala baxoow!
Waxann ku badhaadhi laa
Bushaaradda faraxaliyo
Bil khayr ii noqon lahayd
Naftani ku bogsoon lahayd
Bidhaantaadoo qudhee,
Hadmaan baxsanow ku heli?
//
You’re admired by men,
a brave hero.
Be my new moon —
unbreakable metal,
the desire of my being,
the best of all souls.
What comfort it would be
to hear that bright news.
Such balm to welcome you,
to abate the anxiety —
to behold you.
When, Beloved, will that be?”
(from “Baxsanow” / “Beloved”)
*
aside from the issue I noted as I was reading of Clare Pollard repeatedly rendering words that just mean “god” as “Allah”, I have some serious reservations about the Poetry Translation Centre’s practice, and in particular the fact that while Said Jama Hussein and Maxamed Xasan “Alto” are listed as collaborators and their bios appear in the “About the authors” section, neither of their names appears on the front cover, and Clare Pollard (who doesn’t speak Somali) is the only person whose reflections on the process of translation we actually hear. the fact that, for example, the Goodreads listing for this book didn’t include either of the Somali-speakers who made Pollard’s versions of the poems possible makes it clear that the Poetry Translation Centre didn’t do a good enough job with the simplest task they had, to just #NameTheTranslator. beyond that issue, I also honestly think the whole process — bring in native speakers or experts to provide literal translations and context and then have an anglophone poet “translate” more artistically — is kind of suspect.
I do also wish Pollard had made an effort to retain more alliteration — her version of “Tahriib” / “The Sea-Migrations” shows that it’s possible to do (even if I’m sure it’s difficult!) in a way that will feel natural for English-readers, but after that her attempts are sporadic and don’t extend through the whole poem, even, perplexingly, for poems that specifically say they’re alliterative. there were also some minor register problems (e.g., the poem that suddenly was throwing around the scientific name of hydnora abyssinica).
so, in conclusion: I liked these poems, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was just something off about the whole book. probably won’t read anything from the Poetry Translation Centre again unless I know the translator knows the source language. it’s just too weird.
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