katrinky's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
reflective
sad
3.75
this book irritated the shit out of me and I want to give a copy to everyone I know. it was like reading my own weirdest thoughts, truly shocking to see my own fixations and affects and perverse brainwaves written by someone else. my main complaint is that reading it meant getting lectured for 400 pages. the protagonist (lol I use that term loosely; this book is nothing if not 100% the author's imagining of her own parallel life as an Ani-type rich punk musician living in upstate NY) is witty and smart and queer and jewish and feminist, so I at least *agreed* with some of the lectures, but they were lectures nevertheless.
which brings me to the lectures I DIDN'T agree with, about scientific interventions in re: pregnancy but also, like, any surgery at all, apparently?? like Ani (the parallels really did abound, and the author mentioning Ani as an influence/comrade of Aviva's did not remove the elephant in the room), Aviva tips into some gender essentialism and flirts assiduously with trans exclusion.
basically, I really love and appreciate this author for writing deranged feminist books, and will truly ask everyone I know to read this, but I was also actively annoyed at her, her character, and myself for basically every moment of reading it.
which brings me to the lectures I DIDN'T agree with, about scientific interventions in re: pregnancy but also, like, any surgery at all, apparently?? like Ani (the parallels really did abound, and the author mentioning Ani as an influence/comrade of Aviva's did not remove the elephant in the room), Aviva tips into some gender essentialism and flirts assiduously with trans exclusion.
basically, I really love and appreciate this author for writing deranged feminist books, and will truly ask everyone I know to read this, but I was also actively annoyed at her, her character, and myself for basically every moment of reading it.
600bars's review
4.0
Another excellent Maren rec keeping in the themes of childbirth and desire. Human Blues takes us through 9 months in the life of Aviva, a successful folk punk singer. She’s famous enough to tour venues the size of the fine line and sell out, but not so famous that she can’t go to a restaurant without being recognized. Aviva is in her mid thirties, married, and financially stable. She desperately wants children, but is thus far unable to conceive and the chances seem slimmer with each passing month. All around her she sees those in her tax bracket use technology to aid in their quest for a baby, but Aviva is staunchly against the idea of IVF, hormone treatments, etc. Aviva believes that it is wrong to force a life into existence because you feel entitled to a child. People will undergo dubious (and EXPENSIVE!) treatments to get what they want with very little consideration for the child’s life. At the same time, she wants a baby so fucking bad she feels it in her bones, but all signs are pointing to fate/god/universe not wanting her to have kids. Like myself, she has somewhat arbitrary rules and lines she won’t cross even when she can logically think her way out if it. It’s a very interesting meditation on desire and not getting what you believe you deserve. More specifically, it’s about knowing that there’s a semi-clear way to get what you want but being morally against the means to get the ends.
I am finishing this review several weeks after I finished the book because it’s been a busy month. This week I watched Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky and I kept thinking about this book, so I’m glad I waited. The movie follows a guide and 2 men as they journey to a magic room that will grant your deepest desire. One of the men believes that no one can know what they want and the room is a tool to show them what it is they actually want. Aviva has a moment where she begins to question whether she actually does want babies or if it’s just the constant social pressure, the expected thing, a biological trick, or something else. Having a kid changes your life so much that I don’t know if you can actually know you want it until they’re already here. The second man wants to destroy the room because he is worried that its power could be abused. Aviva is also similar to this second man in the way she disapproves of the fertility industry’s existence altogether. She thinks it's morally wrong to tamper with fate and use technology to force a life into existence, and that we should not have that power. But the guide, the Stalker, believes that the existence of the room must remain in order to give people hope in an increasingly hopeless world. The slide into antinatalism is indicative of general hopelessness for the future. Fertility is dropping extremely fast because of environmental and social factors, and we increasingly need to rely on these technologies to get babies. Would abandoning the unnatural method and leaving it purely up to fate/god/the universe be the same as abandoning hope for the future?
The book is mostly about Aviva’s desire for a child, but there are two important subplots. The first is Aviva’s obsession with Amy Winehouse. I am also a fan of Amy Winehouse. I remember seeing the documentary in theaters and crying because I felt that because I was a fan I had personally contributed to her death. Amy could not be a mother even though it was something she wanted. But she had her songs, she still contributed something to the world. Having children is a way to continue your legacy and selfhood after your death, as selfish a reason that may be it’s just true. In the final scene Aviva listens to a wanderer sing a beautiful song, and she comes to accept that she can contribute to the future through music and not just through her womb.
Aviva also engages in a flirtation with a composer named Copeland. She loves her husband, her Sammy-Sam, but things are too comfortable and she doesn’t feel the flame of desire the way Copeland excites her. Aviva becomes fixated on him, but when they nearly have sex she comes to her senses and leaves the room. She admonishes herself for being a nerd, but ultimately her morals are stronger than her desires yet again. The best part of desire is the desiring, and the satiation of that desire is absolutely not worth it. If she gave in, it would be a moment of pleasure that blows up her life and then the two of them would eventually either collapse spectacularly or end in the exact same place of domestic boredom they’re in with their current spouses. Does the same logic apply to the desire for a baby? Is desiring better than having?
Aviva will see herbalists and conception doulas to assist in conception, and she is aware of the fact that doing these things are also going against fate/god/universe. She knows about the backlash against the word “natural” and that natural doesn't always mean good. She just has her own mental line of what is allowed and what is morally against god and a sin. Don’t we all? There’s a continuum from cycle tracking to making embryos and discarding the weakest ones, and any of these options could be considered interfering with God/the universe's will. We all just decide where on that continuum we draw the line, that is if we are of the opinion a line needs to be drawn in the first place.
I am sympathetic to alternative medicine, because we all know how fucked up our medical system is. But I also harbor a staunch belief that medicine is in the top 3 or 4 of humanity’s greatest achievements. Great achievements typically have a very high human cost and are often morally dubious. Amazon is undeniably a humongous feat of logistics that is unlike anything the world has ever seen, but we also know it’s a demonic bloodsucking exploitative force and that the convenience it brings customers is directly attributable to that exploitation. Like Aviva, I harbor some quasi religious reservations about the extent to which we should be interfering with nature, but, also like Aviva, I do not apply this universally. If I had a preemie that would die in the wild but would live with an incubator would I let it die? Absolutely fucking not, I would be camping out in the NICU and so would you. The infant mortality rate has never ever been so low, which isn’t “natural”, but who’s unhappy about this?
I kinda respect when a writer writes a whole novel to simply go off because it’s more effective than standing on a street corner with a megaphone. The whole book felt like a rant, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It takes its position and then thinks through every possible angle and every pushback you could think of. If Aviva were a real person, she would be getting eviscerated on twitter for being generally insufferable and making albums about her period. There was an era in my life where I thought any and all vagina art was inherently violent and transphobic. I still think it’s usually bad, but not necessarily because it’s “problematic”, it’s just that generally it’s not very good. But I will never deny that having a uterus and a menstrual cycle and childbearing are experiences worth writing about and making art about. To the book’s credit, Aviva does get a LOT of pushback for her beliefs and art.
Aviva’s anti-fertility intervention stance is also critiqued within the book for demonizing the ways queer people conceive. If all medical interventions are immoral, and don’t worry Aviva has takes on adoption too, how are gays supposed to have a baby? I agree with Aviva that we need to stop feeling like we DESERVE children, that we are all entitled to have them just because we want them. But this stance does wander into worrying territory implying that the only types of families that deserve to raise kids are young, healthy, and heterosexual.
At the end of the book Aviva still hasn’t conceived a child, and she is still happily/boringly married to Sam. Aviva has stuck to her convictions and she allows herself to grieve the babies that will not exist because of this decision. The book ends with a letter from a fan saying she named her baby Aviva and that she sings the baby Aviva’s songs. Like Amy, Aviva’s contribution to the world and her legacy has been in song, and that will have to be enough.
I am finishing this review several weeks after I finished the book because it’s been a busy month. This week I watched Stalker by Andrei Tarkovsky and I kept thinking about this book, so I’m glad I waited. The movie follows a guide and 2 men as they journey to a magic room that will grant your deepest desire. One of the men believes that no one can know what they want and the room is a tool to show them what it is they actually want. Aviva has a moment where she begins to question whether she actually does want babies or if it’s just the constant social pressure, the expected thing, a biological trick, or something else. Having a kid changes your life so much that I don’t know if you can actually know you want it until they’re already here. The second man wants to destroy the room because he is worried that its power could be abused. Aviva is also similar to this second man in the way she disapproves of the fertility industry’s existence altogether. She thinks it's morally wrong to tamper with fate and use technology to force a life into existence, and that we should not have that power. But the guide, the Stalker, believes that the existence of the room must remain in order to give people hope in an increasingly hopeless world. The slide into antinatalism is indicative of general hopelessness for the future. Fertility is dropping extremely fast because of environmental and social factors, and we increasingly need to rely on these technologies to get babies. Would abandoning the unnatural method and leaving it purely up to fate/god/the universe be the same as abandoning hope for the future?
The book is mostly about Aviva’s desire for a child, but there are two important subplots. The first is Aviva’s obsession with Amy Winehouse. I am also a fan of Amy Winehouse. I remember seeing the documentary in theaters and crying because I felt that because I was a fan I had personally contributed to her death. Amy could not be a mother even though it was something she wanted. But she had her songs, she still contributed something to the world. Having children is a way to continue your legacy and selfhood after your death, as selfish a reason that may be it’s just true. In the final scene Aviva listens to a wanderer sing a beautiful song, and she comes to accept that she can contribute to the future through music and not just through her womb.
Aviva also engages in a flirtation with a composer named Copeland. She loves her husband, her Sammy-Sam, but things are too comfortable and she doesn’t feel the flame of desire the way Copeland excites her. Aviva becomes fixated on him, but when they nearly have sex she comes to her senses and leaves the room. She admonishes herself for being a nerd, but ultimately her morals are stronger than her desires yet again. The best part of desire is the desiring, and the satiation of that desire is absolutely not worth it. If she gave in, it would be a moment of pleasure that blows up her life and then the two of them would eventually either collapse spectacularly or end in the exact same place of domestic boredom they’re in with their current spouses. Does the same logic apply to the desire for a baby? Is desiring better than having?
Aviva will see herbalists and conception doulas to assist in conception, and she is aware of the fact that doing these things are also going against fate/god/universe. She knows about the backlash against the word “natural” and that natural doesn't always mean good. She just has her own mental line of what is allowed and what is morally against god and a sin. Don’t we all? There’s a continuum from cycle tracking to making embryos and discarding the weakest ones, and any of these options could be considered interfering with God/the universe's will. We all just decide where on that continuum we draw the line, that is if we are of the opinion a line needs to be drawn in the first place.
I am sympathetic to alternative medicine, because we all know how fucked up our medical system is. But I also harbor a staunch belief that medicine is in the top 3 or 4 of humanity’s greatest achievements. Great achievements typically have a very high human cost and are often morally dubious. Amazon is undeniably a humongous feat of logistics that is unlike anything the world has ever seen, but we also know it’s a demonic bloodsucking exploitative force and that the convenience it brings customers is directly attributable to that exploitation. Like Aviva, I harbor some quasi religious reservations about the extent to which we should be interfering with nature, but, also like Aviva, I do not apply this universally. If I had a preemie that would die in the wild but would live with an incubator would I let it die? Absolutely fucking not, I would be camping out in the NICU and so would you. The infant mortality rate has never ever been so low, which isn’t “natural”, but who’s unhappy about this?
I kinda respect when a writer writes a whole novel to simply go off because it’s more effective than standing on a street corner with a megaphone. The whole book felt like a rant, but that wasn’t a bad thing. It takes its position and then thinks through every possible angle and every pushback you could think of. If Aviva were a real person, she would be getting eviscerated on twitter for being generally insufferable and making albums about her period. There was an era in my life where I thought any and all vagina art was inherently violent and transphobic. I still think it’s usually bad, but not necessarily because it’s “problematic”, it’s just that generally it’s not very good. But I will never deny that having a uterus and a menstrual cycle and childbearing are experiences worth writing about and making art about. To the book’s credit, Aviva does get a LOT of pushback for her beliefs and art.
Aviva’s anti-fertility intervention stance is also critiqued within the book for demonizing the ways queer people conceive. If all medical interventions are immoral, and don’t worry Aviva has takes on adoption too, how are gays supposed to have a baby? I agree with Aviva that we need to stop feeling like we DESERVE children, that we are all entitled to have them just because we want them. But this stance does wander into worrying territory implying that the only types of families that deserve to raise kids are young, healthy, and heterosexual.
At the end of the book Aviva still hasn’t conceived a child, and she is still happily/boringly married to Sam. Aviva has stuck to her convictions and she allows herself to grieve the babies that will not exist because of this decision. The book ends with a letter from a fan saying she named her baby Aviva and that she sings the baby Aviva’s songs. Like Amy, Aviva’s contribution to the world and her legacy has been in song, and that will have to be enough.
taurustorus's review
dark
emotional
funny
lighthearted
reflective
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
anniesd's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
4.75
easily my favorite book of the year
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical trauma and Infertility
Moderate: Cancer, Abortion, and Suicide
Minor: Self harm, Eating disorder, and Suicide
maeve_elder's review
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
applesodaperson's review
I did not enjoy the writing style or the characterization. I also don’t mind swearing at all, but it felt overused and gratuitous.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infertility
gellyreads's review against another edition
dark
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
2.0
This book is really messy. I can see why people would like this and enjoy it, but it just reads as someone word-vomiting their obsession into a novel. I also don't know that I knew enough about Amy Winehouse to love it enough? It was fine, but I feel like things have to actually happen for me to enjoy a book with an unlikable protagonist.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infertility, Grief, and Infidelity
elizadin's review
4.0
I wanted to start this review with the phrase “a lot can happen in nine months,” but Aviva would think that was hackneyed and dismiss me with a sneer. But a lot does happen in the novel’s nine month trip—just not the baby that almost famous singer-songwriter Aviva Rosner desperately wants. And while conception (just not IVF, which she’s very vocally opposed to) tries to take center stage in this story, Aviva’s career, religion, marriage, and obsession with Amy Winehouse are also along for the ride (and it’s a wild ride)!