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lakheni's review against another edition
5.0
I read this book in high school and it was life changing. The detailing of women’s struggles as both wives and mothers in a patriarchal society was honest and necessary, especially in the African context. The joys of motherhood describes the burdens of motherhood that are often seen as a cross women should bare instead of a terrible consequence of the society they are borne into and a “rite of passage” that women can revolt against, if it’s burdens outweigh the benefit to them. The joys of motherhood is one of my favourite reads. I love Buchi’s work.
chiazotam's review against another edition
4.0
a beautiful insight into what life was like for an igbo, married woman in colonial nigeria.
women, if you have children, do all you can to ensure they live a good life. but please and please, don’t kill yourself for them. take care of them, but take care of yourself too. rest.
children, see to it that your parents enjoy the fruit of their labor. don’t make it big and then only look forward, forgetting who got you to where you are in the first place.
women, if you have children, do all you can to ensure they live a good life. but please and please, don’t kill yourself for them. take care of them, but take care of yourself too. rest.
children, see to it that your parents enjoy the fruit of their labor. don’t make it big and then only look forward, forgetting who got you to where you are in the first place.
kinetica's review against another edition
5.0
This book made me so much more grateful for birth control.
Besides that, I wanted to read a book set in colonial Nigeria because I don't know anything about that time. Now I need to go find out about Nigeria's role in WWII.
Besides that, I wanted to read a book set in colonial Nigeria because I don't know anything about that time. Now I need to go find out about Nigeria's role in WWII.
ana_rrch13's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
ahbalde's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
5.0
jbingb's review against another edition
5.0
28:The Joys of Motherhood by Buchi Emecheta...because it was referenced in something else that I read not that long ago, but I cannot right now for anything remember right now what book that was. Oh, well! I'm simply very pleased that it directed me to read this book, as I thoroughly enjoyed it.
It's old, published in 1979. And its title is truly sarcastic, as there is so little to the joy of motherhood presented at all in the book. Initially the issue is how necessary it is for a young woman to bear a child to be successful in this African society, but then it isn't really just about bearing children but critical to bear a male child to please his father. And wives who don't do such successfully are sort of simply put by the wayside and replaced with a wife who will bear a male for her husband. Believe it or not, it honestly did not occur to me until the last 50 or so pages to even see any "failure" of my own reproduction (in bearing five healthy daughters) by that standard, as it all seemed so far-fetched and foreign. But something clicked differently at the end of the book that made me think about things differently...and then consider China more recently and other more modern societies, too (this book is set in the 1930s-50s) that have similar expectations and greater value for boys, along with the scientific fact, now known if it wasn't there and then, that the father actually determines the sex of the child anyway.
So initially the "joy" would have come from just delivering a healthy, thriving baby. Then even greater "joy" in delivering and raising a thriving male. But realistically, children are expensive, and somehow it is totally the responsibility of the mother to first nurse the child but then also purchase and prepare food for the children, possibly without much help from the father. And frankly he might be more willing to support the wife bearing him sons...or bearing him sons right then, even if another wife is getting more attention then for having just delivered a new son, while the other may have had some daughters by now, too. What a crazy mess for anyone trying to find "joy" in motherhood.
And the story never drags, never gets old as we watch primarily Ngu Ego trying to satisfy these crazy expectations, well into her forties and beyond, pregnant nine times and delivering twin girls twice...going through so much challenge and heartache and feeling so alone so much of the time, trying so hard to win a game in which the rules and stakes just keep changing.
This is a wonderful book about culture, feminism, family, and more. There are so many rich and pithy lines. I chuckled at this one: "Yet social distance must be maintained, behind the decorum of a meaningless smile." And only because...you know..."social distance" wasn't always the thing it now is.
But like I said, the last fifty pages are even richer for thoughtful application to real life and in this time. This line: "But who made the law that we should not hope in our daughters?" (p. 84) and this one: "It would really be something for a woman to be able to earn some monthly money like a man" (p. 189) made me think about how far we've come...truly...even in my own life time. It honestly didn't seem to phase anyone that my daughter earned her degree today in Aerospace Engineering. And that is a change just in my lifetime--that women could/should pursue college degrees, that they should plan to aim for satisfying careers (rather than "aim" to be a stay-at-home mom), and that those careers could even be in science and engineering fields just as well as any other. I really do feel like we're there in many ways.
Ultimately there is conflict even in what two different African tribes, now with members living right next door to each other in Lagos, uphold as their values, their culture, their rules, as all of them become less "old fashioned" and more modern, more citified.
This is a thought-provoking read. If you already roll your eyes at the title, you are probably one who should read it. You are not alone! Motherhood can certainly be joyous, but it can also be challenging and tortuous and painful and difficult, and rarely do kids feel about their mothers or treat their mothers exactly as they would like to be considered or treated. And reading this helps one to see how common those conflicted feelings are.
I'm very glad I read it!
It's old, published in 1979. And its title is truly sarcastic, as there is so little to the joy of motherhood presented at all in the book. Initially the issue is how necessary it is for a young woman to bear a child to be successful in this African society, but then it isn't really just about bearing children but critical to bear a male child to please his father. And wives who don't do such successfully are sort of simply put by the wayside and replaced with a wife who will bear a male for her husband. Believe it or not, it honestly did not occur to me until the last 50 or so pages to even see any "failure" of my own reproduction (in bearing five healthy daughters) by that standard, as it all seemed so far-fetched and foreign. But something clicked differently at the end of the book that made me think about things differently...and then consider China more recently and other more modern societies, too (this book is set in the 1930s-50s) that have similar expectations and greater value for boys, along with the scientific fact, now known if it wasn't there and then, that the father actually determines the sex of the child anyway.
So initially the "joy" would have come from just delivering a healthy, thriving baby. Then even greater "joy" in delivering and raising a thriving male. But realistically, children are expensive, and somehow it is totally the responsibility of the mother to first nurse the child but then also purchase and prepare food for the children, possibly without much help from the father. And frankly he might be more willing to support the wife bearing him sons...or bearing him sons right then, even if another wife is getting more attention then for having just delivered a new son, while the other may have had some daughters by now, too. What a crazy mess for anyone trying to find "joy" in motherhood.
And the story never drags, never gets old as we watch primarily Ngu Ego trying to satisfy these crazy expectations, well into her forties and beyond, pregnant nine times and delivering twin girls twice...going through so much challenge and heartache and feeling so alone so much of the time, trying so hard to win a game in which the rules and stakes just keep changing.
This is a wonderful book about culture, feminism, family, and more. There are so many rich and pithy lines. I chuckled at this one: "Yet social distance must be maintained, behind the decorum of a meaningless smile." And only because...you know..."social distance" wasn't always the thing it now is.
But like I said, the last fifty pages are even richer for thoughtful application to real life and in this time. This line: "But who made the law that we should not hope in our daughters?" (p. 84) and this one: "It would really be something for a woman to be able to earn some monthly money like a man" (p. 189) made me think about how far we've come...truly...even in my own life time. It honestly didn't seem to phase anyone that my daughter earned her degree today in Aerospace Engineering. And that is a change just in my lifetime--that women could/should pursue college degrees, that they should plan to aim for satisfying careers (rather than "aim" to be a stay-at-home mom), and that those careers could even be in science and engineering fields just as well as any other. I really do feel like we're there in many ways.
Ultimately there is conflict even in what two different African tribes, now with members living right next door to each other in Lagos, uphold as their values, their culture, their rules, as all of them become less "old fashioned" and more modern, more citified.
This is a thought-provoking read. If you already roll your eyes at the title, you are probably one who should read it. You are not alone! Motherhood can certainly be joyous, but it can also be challenging and tortuous and painful and difficult, and rarely do kids feel about their mothers or treat their mothers exactly as they would like to be considered or treated. And reading this helps one to see how common those conflicted feelings are.
I'm very glad I read it!
wokeatlast's review against another edition
emotional
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
Nnu Ego’s character was one I had a lot of sympathy for, and it speaks to a lot of people of African heritage or those who come from communities that place such a huge weight on the collective. All she wanted to be was a good mother!
Given the 3 star because I found this quite hard to read :(
Given the 3 star because I found this quite hard to read :(