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lastbraincell's review against another edition
2.0
Too much time is spent defining labels and defending the lifestyle. Most of it seems common sense: Be honest (but no need to share all the details, if the other person doesn't want to know). Know and respect boundaries. And so on.
Can be summarized as: Set some ground rules depending on what is comfortable to both, and keep them. However, jealousy happens and is normal, and ways can be found to deal with it. -- This is where my gripe is. Sure, some people get irrationally psycho jealous, and it will be helpful to find a way to tone it down. But what if your jealousy is a warning sign from your gut that there's something off in your relationship with your primary partner? Are you supposed to just stomp down on it (the book recommends journalling about it to get it out) then?
The rest reads too much like a cheesy self-help book: 'Discover what you like! Explore each other's bodies!' Yawn. Like we didn't know that already. Here are quotes that sum up the off-putting woo-woo tone of the book:
I guess it makes some kind of sense, that we learn something from each relationship. But it also sounds like something a sleazeball would say to get in your pants. Like "Don't fight it."
Another quote:
It's like the Internet meme "CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!", only in this case it's "SLEEP WITH ALL THE PEOPLE!"
At least I found out that ethical sluthood, as defined by this book, is not for me.
Can be summarized as: Set some ground rules depending on what is comfortable to both, and keep them. However, jealousy happens and is normal, and ways can be found to deal with it. -- This is where my gripe is. Sure, some people get irrationally psycho jealous, and it will be helpful to find a way to tone it down. But what if your jealousy is a warning sign from your gut that there's something off in your relationship with your primary partner? Are you supposed to just stomp down on it (the book recommends journalling about it to get it out) then?
The rest reads too much like a cheesy self-help book: 'Discover what you like! Explore each other's bodies!' Yawn. Like we didn't know that already. Here are quotes that sum up the off-putting woo-woo tone of the book:
Our friend Jaymes says, "I believe that every person you connect with on this planet has some sort of a message to give you. If you cut yourself off from whatever kind of relationship wants to form with that person, you're failing to pick up your messages."
I guess it makes some kind of sense, that we learn something from each relationship. But it also sounds like something a sleazeball would say to get in your pants. Like "Don't fight it."
Another quote:
Dossie remembers an interview with a young flower child back in 1967 who made the most succinct statement of ethical slut hood we've ever seen: "We believe it's okay to have sex with anybody you love... and we believe in loving everybody!"
It's like the Internet meme "CLEAN ALL THE THINGS!", only in this case it's "SLEEP WITH ALL THE PEOPLE!"
At least I found out that ethical sluthood, as defined by this book, is not for me.
gabybeckley's review against another edition
challenging
funny
informative
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
my_book_trolley's review against another edition
4.0
This is a great read for any person, in any type of relationship, and any type of sexuality. Even if you aren’t interested in a poly lifestyle, the discussions on trust, jealousy, disagreements and more are worth reading for any relationship. It’s also fantastic for singles and talks a lot about it being okay to choose to be on your own. Highly recommend it for anyone looking to gain new perspective and better their relationships with others and themselves.
k1ngm0b's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
3.25
The book has great information but gets to lost in personal examples. I also feel like the book is all over the place on the topic of nonmonogamy and doesn't decipher the different categories very will. That being said i enjoyed the chapter of single slut and party etiquette.
googie_puvdan's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
I'd be interested in reading an updated version because I think a lot of my critiques could be addressed just by being more contemporary. But I did get good insight from several chapters and felt affirmed in multiple places.