Reviews

Forgive Me If I've Told You This Before by Karelia Stetz-Waters

lizmart88's review

emotional funny fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? No

3.25

Coming of age novel set in rural Oregon about a teenage girl trying to figure out her own identity and how she fits into the world around her. Set during the time when anti-gay legislation was gaining steam in Oregon. 

dtalako's review

challenging dark emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.25

Absolutely fantastic. One of the best YA books I've ever read. This was written almost a decade ago, but so much of it is incredibly relevant to the struggles queer people are facing in the West today in the face of increasingly dehumanizing laws and politics. This book deserves a lot more attention.

The voice and especially the quality of writing are wonderful. Some of the best, most lyrical writing I've ever encountered that is beautiful without being an attempt by the author at showing the world how abstract and poetic they are. I also generally dislike when the author inserts their own experiences and lives down to specific details in their works of fiction, but in this book, it's done so intimately, thoroughly, and believably that the whole work benefits from it.

Really appreciate what I learned about Oregon's Measure 9 from this book too. I know a lot about queer history and politics, but I didn't know anything about this beforehand.

storytimed's review against another edition

4.0

Rural lesbians. Similar patterns to other queer YA, including the faithless straight girl who doesn't love her back, hateful small town, etc.

green23c's review

emotional hopeful reflective tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

The main character does some things that don't make a ton of sense, but that just makes the whole thing seem more real. Love the parents, and the book's nuanced treatment of religion.

angieinbooks's review against another edition

3.0

I liked the story I think Karelia Stetz-Waters was trying to tell. And she gets full marks from me in how originally she tackles Triinu's inner turmoil and how she navigates through her friendships and romantic relationships and how she goes away from the trope of meeting the love of your life in high school.

I loved that Triinu's home was filled with poetry and parents who loved each other. I liked Triinu's childhood best friend, Isabel, a lot and how she always managed to stay true to who she was and had the capacity to forgive Triinu for needlessly abandoning her. I liked Chloe and Aaron and Ava. I even liked Triinu most of the time.

But there were so many things about this novel that didn't work for me, too. The pacing seemed weird. It was hard for me to find the rhythm of the narrative. Things happened on the page without any build up, so that I would go back and see if I'd somehow missed some now-important detail. I hadn't. Pip and Ben were believable bullies, but Mr. Pinn, the principal of a public school, even in the early 1990s, didn't seem believable to me. At least in the way he was presented. I pretty much hated everyone Triinu was attracted to, apart from Ava. And Triinu's transformation into Goth girl never really made sense or was explained, nor did it add anything to her character. I just didn't get it.

It took me a while to get into it, and until the final few chapters, it was mostly a chore—a curious chore, perhaps—to read.

mollyan's review

challenging emotional reflective sad tense fast-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

ceebo's review against another edition

4.0

Set in rural Oregon in 1989, "Forgive Me If I've Told You This Before" depicts the story of Triinu, a high schooler, realizing her sexuality amidst political turmoil. Stetz-Waters does an amazing job of mirroring the turbulence that Triinu feels with the chaos of the anti-gay agenda in Portland (this is right around when Measure 9 was being voted on). Throughout this novel, we see a transformation in Triinu, as she starts to understand herself and eventually accept herself; however, this is complicated by the fact that Triinu is bullied by multiple parties based on the assumption that she is gay.

Triinu's coming of age story is beautifully rendered and poetically told. From first loves to challenging the normative heterosexual rhetoric, Triinu grows up before the reader's eyes. She questions herself, her relationships, and her faith, but ultimately finds strength in herself and in her family. Stetz-Waters has crafted a novel that allows readers of all ages to empathize and cheer on our favorite goth kid.

kyndallt23's review against another edition

5.0

Forgive Me If I've Told You This Before follows Triinu on a poignant coming of age journey through her high school years. Her story takes place in the midst of the gay rights struggle in rural Oregon in the 90s. In this backdrop, Triinu is coming to terms with her queer identity while dealing with bullying, complex friendships, and the fierce emotions of being a teenager. Triinu's story is less of a coming out tale and more of a love story.

I really appreciated the depth of the characters within this story and the treatment of gay rights issues within Oregon. It is heartbreaking and optimistic at the same time. I loved seeing Triinu's character development and overall the true acceptance and self love that comes to her by the end of the book. The author spotlights the lesbian experience and religious trauma beautifully. It is also refreshing to see queer representation where the protagonist reaches a positive resolution. This book has a very special place in my heart and I highly recommend it!!

jpiasci1's review

adventurous challenging dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

zbpaulsen's review against another edition

5.0

I think I could read this book a few hundred times and never get tired of it. It's easily one of the best books I've ever read.

I just finished it again and gosh. The whole book is so beautiful. The writing is so atmospheric and immersive, and I cried at least ten times. Watching Triinu fall in love with herself was so moving - and every scene where she's gushing about her suit had me honest-to-God bawling. This is the type of book I wish everyone would write: it's an emotional story about a young lesbian that is more than just a coming out or a love story, the characters are all so real and multidimensional, and, well, none of the lesbians die or sleep with men. With all the lousy treatment lesbian characters have gotten (I'm looking at you,

Spoiler

The 100, Faking It, PLL, and all the rest of you

), this book is a beacon for young lesbian girls.

Long story short, I would marry this book.