Reviews with content warning for Bullying - Mia inquieta Vanessa

I've seen a lot of places have this listed as a "dark romance" and that is definitely NOT what this is. It's not romantic. It's heartwrenching and sickening and devastating. There is no actual love in these pages. There's nothing redeeming in the 'love story' told because it's between a 42 year old man and a 15 year old girl that continues until she is 22 years old (and he's 49) and the havoc that has wreacked on her life up until she's a 32 adult woman (and he's 59) and he's suddenly being called out for his pedophilia. This is a man that groomed a 15 year old child by touching her in class and giving her a copy of Lolita to read like a manual.
Most of this novel is the adult woman looking back on what happened to her and trying to reframe it in her mind. Most of what I read made me feel physically ill. My stomach hurt and I had to take frequent breaks from the book while also wanting to 'get it over with'. It's a beautifully written novel that takes a real look at all those "age gap" tropes and the ongoing fantasy that having an affair with a teacher is in anyway sexy. This takes a look at what that power imbalance, what that breaking of a young soul actually does to a person.
Vanessa isn't a loveable victim. In fact, she insists through most of the novel that she's not a victim at all. She wanted it and it was love and she knew what she was doing and he wasn't a monster. All things to cope with what actually happened to her and what kept happening to her all through her youth. The gaslighting and grooming that took place, the fact that while he initiated it all he turned it around and placed it on her. The fact that he was always covering his bases, telling coworkers she had a crush and it might end up being a problem. She coped the only way she knew how and that was to reclaim some of the agency she lost to him. Each sexual encounter reads as a loss of agency, that she didn't want to take all those steps but the secondary coping mechanism of continuing with it creates a sort of retroactive consent. It doesn't.
It's incredibly triggering as a woman and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone that has any experience of losing their agency, with rape or with assault. This novel, while beautifully written, created a physical response that I battled throught the novel. Ultimately I am glad I finished it, but it was a struggle and there were many moments that I considered DNFing the book entirely.

Content Warnings

lemonsyellow's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

This book. THIS. BOOK. I imagine that each person who reads it will have a different perspective. Kate Elizabeth Russell takes extremely difficult subject matter and does a really job taking the reader through what goes through a young victim’s mind. Vanessa doesn’t see her illicit affair with her high school teacher as abuse. But all of the signs are there. The manipulation is there. The gaslighting is there. Her own disgust is there but she simply ignores it and why? Because she never got to see what love is supposed to be like. So this is love for her.

This book is a slippery slope for Vanessa and the entire time I wanted to help her up, protect her, yell at her for not seeing how horrible it was. It’s tragic at every turn but I could not stop reading.

Take care of yourself first before reading this book. If you are triggered by sexual assault, grooming, or anything having to do with this subject matter have some support to help you through if you choose to read on.

The narrator (Grace Gummer) was the heart and soul of this story for me. She brought this character to life for me in such vivid ways. I would listen to anything else she narrates.

Content Warnings

rchulin1's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Such an amazing book very dark not for the faint of heart. So many triggers be mindful of them before reading but nonetheless my favorite book as of now.

Content Warnings

zapzap9000's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.25

Content Warnings

behindherpages's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Content Warnings

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