Reviews with content warning for Gaslighting - Know My Name

Reviews tagging 'Gaslighting'

Know My Name by Chanel Miller

153 reviews

fkshg8465's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional informative inspiring sad medium-paced

5.0

*********NOT spoilers because this was a very public case, but if you don’t know about it, then you may consider my opinion to have spoilers**********

This book was both easy and hard to read. It feels so rare that women are vindicated, and that was the case here. An empty victory, but I was so proud of that California jury. We Asian women are stereotyped and taken advantage of because of those stereotypes. It’s unusual for BIPoC to get justice, to be believed, but when it’s rape, when it’s the victims who are vilified and scrutinized and intimidated and manipulated on the stand, it feels like BIPoC victims have an insurmountable agony. All that said, that damned judge - UGH!!! I feel like he violated her as much as Brock Turner. I hope they and the defense attorney and his parents share an eternal damnation where they are continuously violated and erased over and over and forevermore for legally gaslighting all women through their aggressively limp actions.

The judge being recalled was a very inadequate outcome. He needs to be tormented everyday for all the subpar sentences he’s surely meted out, because Brock was no way the first one he let off easy. As for this rapist whose sentence was pretty much a step removed from a get-out-of-jail-free card, the women in his area are holding him accountable. Still not enough, but at least his “freedom” comes with a lot of strings now - least according to Google.

Looked up Chanel in Instagram. Happy for her - happy that she’s found a way to thrive, though being an assault victim myself, I know she’ll have her haunted moments too. I wish her luck and send her lots of love.

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melissafelicia's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring sad medium-paced

5.0

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shlymiller's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional hopeful medium-paced

5.0

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se_wigget's review against another edition

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dark emotional informative reflective tense fast-paced

5.0

Fuck you, fucking piece of fucking shit fucking victim-blaming fucking rape apologists fucking misogynists. You are the fuck devoid of any redeeming quality. And that fucking includes you, fucking piece of fucking shit Washington fucking Post.

This is an intense personal account of the author's experience after rape. It has insightful cultural commentary. Make that... shitculture commentary.

"Victims are often, automatically, accused of lying. But when a perpetrator is exposed for lying, the stigma doesn't stick. Why is it that we're wary of victims making false accusations, but rarely consider how many men have blatantly lied about, downplayed, or manipulated others to cover their own actions (p. 191)?"

"Nobody earns the right to rape. It is still rape when he is a good swimmer (p. 249)."

Sexual predators as gaslighters:

"Society [rape culture] gives women the near impossible task of separating harmlessness from danger, the foresight of knowing what some men are capable of. When we call out assault when we hear it, Trump says, I don't think you understand. Just words. You are overreacting, overly offended, hysterical, rude [projecting], relax!!! So we dismiss threatening statements and warning signs, apologizing for our [nonexistent] paranoia. We go into a party or meeting thinking it's just a party or meeting. But when we are taken advantage of, and come crawling back damaged, they say, How could you be so naive, you failed to detect danger, let your guard down, what did you think would happen? Trump made it clear the game is rigged, the rules keep changing. It doesn't matter what you think [or know] is assault, because in the end, he [the sexual predator] decides (p. 278)."

"When society questions a victim's reluctance to report, I will be here to remind you that you ask us to sacrifice our sanity to fight outdated structures that were designed to keep us down (p. 288)."

"This is not a out the victim's lack of effort. It's about society's failure to to have systems in place in which victims feel there's a probable chance of achieving safety, justice, and restoration rather than being traumatized, publicly shamed, psychologically tormented, and verbally mauled. The real question we need to be asking is not, Why didn't she report. The question is, Why would you (p. 288)?"

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sakisreads's review against another edition

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challenging emotional inspiring slow-paced

5.0

Simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming, Chanel Miller brings the spotlight to herself and this horrendous but necessary case.

I could’ve read it very quickly, but I wanted to sit in every moment with Miller and appreciate what she had to go through 😫

I urge every person to read this. Content warnings are below, obviously, but if you have the space and time this truly is a must.
Thank you ✨

Content Warnings