Reviews tagging 'Racism'

Eindelijk mezelf by Matt Cain

2 reviews

yvo_about_books's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful medium-paced

4.0

Finished reading: May 3rd 2024


"There are all kinds of reasons good people do bad things. But usually, it comes down to just being human."

*** A copy of this book was kindly provided to me by Netgalley and Kensington Books in exchange for an honest review. Thank you! ***

I listened to The Secret Life Of Albert Entwistle back in 2022 and it ended up being one of my favorite stories of the year, so to say that I've been highly anticipating Becoming Ted is an understatement. I loved the sound of the premise with Ted rediscovering who he really is after his husband of twenty years leaves him... And I've been looking forward to dive in and properly meet Ted. I'm not sure if I had simply set my expectations a bit too high; while I did enjoy this newest story, there were also a couple niggles that prevented me from handing out the full five stars.

I still love the premise of the story, and I could truly appreciate how it focuses on different aspects of the queer community. This story doesn't only shows us what it is like being a gay couple in the present, but there is also focus on the struggles of being gay in the 1950s and growing up in a Catholic Poland where people don't accept gays. It's also a story about drag and everything it entails including prejudices and struggles... And there is focus on the fear/hesitance to come out and being afraid to show the world who you really are.

Becoming Ted uses a multiple POV structure, although we mainly stick with Ted and the Polish immigrant Oskar. There are many flashbacks to the past to be found along the way, and I do confess that the jumps to the past sometimes caught me off guard as they always happened mid-chapter. That said, they were always relevant and helped explain certain thoughts and why the characters are the way that they are. The writing itself was engaging with quite a lot of slang and a humor that could be on the sarcastic and harsh side at times. I personally didn't have an issue with it though!

As for the characters... Oh boy, I had mixed feelings. Don't get me wrong, I do love Ted and Oskar, but especially Ted also frustrated the heck out of me. The fact that he has been pushing his true self to the background his whole life and lets people walk all over him and his dreams is SO incredibly frustrating, and especially when he keeps letting it happen even after he supposedly started to put himself first for a change. Also, how he kept pining after his husband Giles even after he found out he had been cheating on him for all those months?! With Giles even flaunting his new love on social media for all to see?! I almost felt secondhand embarrassment for him... Then again, he basically only had experiences with toxic relationships in his life, so I guess he probably didn't know better.

I also wasn't a fan of just how much cheating was going on in general, and there were also too many different subplots going on that distracted from Ted's self-discovery journey. I could have done without the whole mystery letters and the family drama involving Ted's father for example... And likewise for Giles to pop up again near the end. There was a bit too much drama going on in general, and as a result Becoming Ted wasn't nearly as uplifting as I thought it would be. Sure, it ended on a high note, but there was a lot more negativity to be found than expected.

That said, I did still enjoy Becoming Ted despite those niggles, and I can still recommend this story if you don't mind a lot of drama, focus on toxic relationships, gaslighting and cheating. The snappy drag humor does help balancing things out a little! 
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james1star's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted reflective medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

Massive thank you to NetGalley and Headline publishing house for accepting me as a pre-publication reviewer. This has proved to be one of my favourite books of the year and it’s not even out yet! 

Quick plot summary: forty three year old Ted is living a rather pleasant life: has a husband of twenty years, a loving dog, a great best friend, a stable job working for his family’s ice cream shop in a little Lancashire seaside town. But how great is it really? Especially when he’s had to hide his true passion throughout his whole life. When his husband confesses he’s been having an affair and wants to split up, Ted cannot see anything good coming his way… but how wrong he was. Finally he gains the courage - with the help of many great people in his life - to pursue his dream of becoming a drag queen and fully comprehend his (dull, reserved and unauthentic) life before. In doing so, he embarks on the journey of ‘Becoming Ted’. 

That was a *very* short summary and there’s a *lot* more that goes on, sub-plots and character storylines but I so wholeheartedly 1000% recommend picking this book up I don’t want to spoil anything and Yhh, you need to experience it first hand I think to truly get the most out of this book. But continue reading I won’t spoil anything, it’s all praise trust me. 

Now whilst there was some plot points I personally didn’t like that much, I do appreciate it as a whole and how they lead to certain things happening and just Awgh I cannot get over how satisfied I was with this book. It also deals with many topics; specifically toxic relationships and gaslighting techniques which Ted learns was apparent in his marriage (and with other characters) and has flashbacks to points in time which were done exceptionally well - you are transported back, it makes sense immediately what is happening, you don’t lose sight of the present-day plot and I dunno just wow I loved them and how they’re demarcated with little ice creams!!!! No words. So yes, this exploration of relationships dynamics and understanding possible trauma is handled very well, it’s eye-opening, emotional and gripping. Additionally, homophobia is a present theme both externally in how Ted thinks back to school but mainly with Oskar and Andrzej with the scenes in Poland in the further and more recent past - mentioning LGBT-free zones and Anti-gay protests/marches - but a major part is internal homophobia and how one overcomes it. The fact it’s definitely not an easy ride, with ups and downs, movements forwards and back and how no matter how much you might love someone and want what’s best for them, they need to come to terms with themselves first and truly appreciate they are who they are. Once again I don’t want to explain too much as this self-discovery aspect of the book is a prominent motif in many different ways and to read and understand it first hand is much more impactful. 

I think I could honestly write about this book for ages but I don’t want to give things away so I’ll try and stop myself. 

But not until I talk about the characters. Awghhhhhh omfg I loved them so much like just wow wow wow!!! Firstly, yes they all have some flaws and nuances (except Lilly the dog - she’s perfect) but this adds to their lovableness and realness too. First off, our ‘main character’ (I did it in ‘’ because he is definitely the mc buttt as it’s written in third person - something I though was slightly a wrong choice as I started reading thinking it would be great in first - with most chapters from Ted’s POV, his bestie Denise and Oskar have their own chapters too where the narrator narrates what is happening with italics representing what that character is thinking in their head. I hope I explained this well and understandable but like once again this was super great and I just loved how we sort of got these other views and then more insight into these characters lives) Ted is so likeable, he’s sweet and kind, funny, just great and you feel for him so much. You experience so much of what he goes through and there are so many relatable and just lovable aspects to his character. Denise is yes flawed but she’s such a great friend and personality, has dealt with a lot and so you understand her outlook. Oskar is just the sweetest omg I can’t. He had to deal with so much trauma growing up and internal hatred and just finding himself. Stanley is purely fantabulosa, he’s just an icon, super super lovable and funny, a great personality but we too get to see some of his painful past. Ted’s parents Hilary and Trevor (and sister Jemima) are the most nuanced I’d say as in you do like them but also some things they have done is a bit ‘ehh’-ey but like you do understand their reasonings and things… I dunno what to feel? I would say I do still like them. Quick fire shout out to these other great characters: Alison, Marina, Mick, Peg Legge, Pussy Squat, Mick and Andrzej too. Giles was by far the most unlikable (well actually Karl is) but then again he has some redeeming qualities and Yhh… read it to see why I don’t hate hate him. 

The writing is so great too. It’s super addictive, making you read on and fully encapsulating you. It was honestly physically straining to put it away and do what I needed to do at times. I also just didn’t want to let the characters go so I was in a major predicament of either binging it or spending more time with these icons? And I mostly binged but I can (and will!) give it a reread to revisit St-Luke’s-on-Sea and all it’s fabulous residents. I wouldn’t say the writing is particularly outstanding but it’s very readable and there are some lovely descriptive passages. The dialogue is super realistic, sharp, witty, humorous and Yhh honestly just great. There were also a few great quotes and many many takeaways. 

If you didn’t guess already but I loved this book! Like honestly I’m in such awe of these characters, the plot and meanings portrayed. It’s exceptional. I will very likely be placing an order for the physical copy when it becomes available and in the meantime hope to read some more of Matt Cain’s works. bring it on!

P.S. the acknowledgments were super sweet and so much meaning - read them too! 
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