Reviews tagging 'Toxic friendship'

Karamo: My Story of Embracing Purpose, Healing, and Hope by Karamo Brown

1 review

pacifickat's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

2.25

This memoire is also a self help book, which is my least favorite genre. I don't even like home décor that tries to tell me what to do in saccharine yet judgy tones (Live, Laugh, Love, Dream, Smile, Believe, Think Happy, Good Vibes Only...). So, this was not the book for me. 

It also seems like Karamo believes he's manifested a lot of his success by putting the right vibes out in the universe, but it seems more like he's very pushy in many cases and sometimes bowls others over in pursuit of his dreams. He can be charismatic, charming, and driven. This combination can come off as bullying, manipulative, and disingenuous. There was a whole section about
his partner, Ian, not wanting to get married and being very clear from the start, and Karamo saying Ian had to be the one to take their relationship to that next step. Then the next beat, Karamo plans this humongous public birthday party for Ian where he proposes in front of all their family and friends, and he's nervous because he's not sure Ian will say yes. It just seemed super manipulative! I would have been super mad and confused in Ian's shoes. The behavior looks like love, but is it? It might really be self serving.


Furthermore, Karamo also often describes situations and past conversations in ways that seem hugely implausible and are meant to cast him in the best possible light. I'm sure you said all those perfect things in that moment of tension, buddy. Suuuuure. 

It's not all bad though, and I do admire some of his life choices and experiences. I even thought we had similar experiences with having church purity culture teachings pushed far too early, leading to huge discomfort and anxiety with being negatively sexualized when I was too young to sort through the messaging and my own feelings. 

All in all, I was a bit bored. Karamo is a talker, and often in a rambling sort of way. The beginning and end moved along, but the middle dragged. Also, the events of his life being told out of order, jumping from one thing back to another and then forward again, is repetitive at best and confusing at worst. It made me wonder when and how
he had attained his social work training, how long it was between his treatment for domestic abuse and meeting Ian or being on Queer Eye, and what the overlap between his social work practice and his drug abuse/domestic abuse episodes had actually been. 
 

As a fan of the Fab 5, I would strongly recommend Jonathan Van Ness' memoire over this one. To me it felt less preachy, more genuine, and better structured as a narrative.
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