Scan barcode
Reviews tagging 'Infertility'
Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--And What You Really Need to Know by Emily Oster
4 reviews
laurenfro22's review against another edition
1.0
The fact that I wasted an entire $15 on this irks me to no end. Another reviewer said “Expecting Better? Yeah I fuckin’ was!” Personally I’ve been trying to get my hands on as much information as I can but this book is a cautionary tale about understanding the author before buying the book.
Queer folks looking for family planning information and support - this is probably not the best option.
TL, DR: Read Kali’s “Queer Conception” and Gordon’s “‘You Just Need to Lose Weight’ and 19 Other Myths About Fat People.” I promise everyone will get more for those two books than this.
My thoughts in no particular order:
• Big issue with outdated language. This was published in 2013. The r-slur was removed and replaced with ‘intellectual disability’ in medical settings in 2010. Tell me why the phrase “mental re****ation” made it past editors!?
• Holy cisgender heteronormativity Batman!
• Add a mega dose of fatphobia to that list.
• Some concerning conflation of chromosomal differences (e.g. Down Syndrome) and unhealthy babies? Struck me as weird.
• Why can’t Jesse research things himself if he has questions? Very odd framing, especially since he doesn’t seem to be painted in a particularly supportive light throughout the book (dude, just take care of the litter box - you live with this woman for godssake)
• Really comes from a privileged view (that seems to remain unacknowledged) - particularly struck by describing interactions with doctors. Girl, fat, queer, and non-white folks know all this already.
• Other folks online have much better explanations about the problems with the caffeine and alcohol recommendations that I’m not going to touch here but know that the language around all that made me itchy.
• I knew by like page 3 I was going to be irritated by this book. I was very much correct and will be pulling any of her other books off my TBR list >_<
Queer folks looking for family planning information and support - this is probably not the best option.
TL, DR: Read Kali’s “Queer Conception” and Gordon’s “‘You Just Need to Lose Weight’ and 19 Other Myths About Fat People.” I promise everyone will get more for those two books than this.
My thoughts in no particular order:
• Big issue with outdated language. This was published in 2013. The r-slur was removed and replaced with ‘intellectual disability’ in medical settings in 2010. Tell me why the phrase “mental re****ation” made it past editors!?
• Holy cisgender heteronormativity Batman!
• Add a mega dose of fatphobia to that list.
• Some concerning conflation of chromosomal differences (e.g. Down Syndrome) and unhealthy babies? Struck me as weird.
• Why can’t Jesse research things himself if he has questions? Very odd framing, especially since he doesn’t seem to be painted in a particularly supportive light throughout the book (dude, just take care of the litter box - you live with this woman for godssake)
• Really comes from a privileged view (that seems to remain unacknowledged) - particularly struck by describing interactions with doctors. Girl, fat, queer, and non-white folks know all this already.
• Other folks online have much better explanations about the problems with the caffeine and alcohol recommendations that I’m not going to touch here but know that the language around all that made me itchy.
• I knew by like page 3 I was going to be irritated by this book. I was very much correct and will be pulling any of her other books off my TBR list >_<
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Infertility, and Classism
kellyofcali's review
informative
medium-paced
4.5
This was the first pregnancy book I read on many recommendations, and I found it quite informative and well-balanced - for the most part, Oster isn't pushing you to do anything, she's just telling you, using her own pregnancy as the frame, what the facts she's learned are and what she decided to do based on that. I found it an easy read, not fear-mongering, and a good place to start forming my own opinions. Notably, I am a fairly low-anxiety/risk-accepting person and not super into natural for the sake of natural (though no judgement!) - if you aren't those things, this might be less for you?
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content and Pregnancy
Minor: Death, Infertility, Miscarriage, and Alcohol
seamoonstone's review
informative
fast-paced
3.0
"Knowing what the evidence says doesn’t make the decision for you. It just lets you make the decision in an informed way.”
The overall message of Expecting Better is that it’s acceptable for child-carrying people to make well-informed decisions that make the most sense for them, rather than blindly adhering to the limited and often outdated information that we’ve gleaned from media, older generations, rushed medical appointments, etc. This means that everyone can look at the same information and make different decisions and choices. While Emily Oster presents this book as a non-biased, research-based journey through conception, pregnancy, labor and delivery, the topics covered more thoroughly feel specifically relevant to her and may not be the priority to other mothers or pregnant people who might not be well-educated, privileged, white, thin, able-bodied, cis, etc. Thus, the time spent on the topics feels imbalanced, and Oster wraps up each section with her own decision(s), which feels a bit self-indulgent and contradictory to the proposed objectivity. I’m left wondering what information I’m missing, because I only heard about the aspects of pregnancy that were specifically relevant to Oster, such as how much wine she might indulge in and how often she can still go out for sushi. I get the impression that this is the way things are with pregnancy and childbirth—everyone will tell you what they did, whether you ask or not.
Oster claims that, as an economist, she is frustrated by conclusions that lack numerical data, yet reverts to using vague moral statements as to whether something is “good” or “bad” when reviewing those topics that she only lightly touches on. The edition I read used 'sex' and 'gender' interchangeably, and also relied heavily on the idea that BMI is a modern scientific principle, which felt very misleading since it's been determined to be a very flawed (and arguably problematic) metric. Personally, I found her self-insertion deeply irritating—I was frustrated by her lack of empathy or awareness when navigating these choices (to be fair, she’s intending to deal with numbers only), and the portrayal of her husband as unsympathetic and uninterested (sitcom husband vibes), who only participated in the conception part of the process unless emailed re: her research, contributes the occasional BBQed steak, and would probably get tired of taking care of her if she had a difficult pregnancy. Her attempts to be relatable (Where would you even find queso fresco anyway?) came off as deeply unrelatable and frankly cringe-inducing at times, and the “as long as I can have my glass of wine, am I right, ladies?” tone, as if that’s the main concern of all pregnant women, just didn’t work for me. However, Part 5: Labor and Delivery was full of useful insight, considering this part is usually the hardest to talk about and the most inaccurately represented in our media/culture. I found this section to be the most readable, though I think this is due in part to Oster ditching the numerical data and charts for summarizations, generalizations, “more/less likelys” and anecdotes, which goes against her earlier intentions but does make for a more enjoyable reading experience (minus the jabs at her husband).
I get that most of the information we encounter about pregnancy is condescending at best and harmful at worst, and the value of this book—to promote confidence in reviewing the available information and making personalized pregnancy choices—is an important and welcome new way of approaching the incredibly daunting experience of pregnancy and childbirth. Complaints aside, I did learn some things and can appreciate the approach to an overwhelming subject. At the end of the day, this is a pop science book written by a person with a very specific viewpoint, and should be treated as a piece of the puzzle of navigating pregnancy, not a pregnancy bible. Maybe the more recent edition is better. I will be avoiding Oster’s follow-ups on child-rearing by the numbers.
Content Warnings
Minor: Child death, Fatphobia, Infertility, Miscarriage, and Pregnancy
pagesfromhome's review
informative
medium-paced
4.5
All in all, an insightful look at some of the standard "rules" around pregnancy and the facts and studies behind them. It was pretty overwhelmingly catered to people who will be more likely to have a standard pregnancy (rather than anybody disabled, chronically ill, etc.), and there were only minor nods to anything that pregnant people of color may experience. Still, I think that the information could be utilized to help you make your own decisions, even if it doesn't apply to you directly. It provided clear and concise information and backed you up to make your own decisions for your body and your pregnancy. It also gave me a no-nonsense look at what goes down in labor in a way that I haven't seen in many other books.
The only thing that made me knock off half a star was the discussion of weight that was based almost entirely on BMI. For a book that debunks many medical myths, it was a bummer to see BMI used as a benchmark when it has been debunked as inaccurate in most cases (Maintenance Phase has a podcast episode about that, which is incredibly informative).
But I will absolutely be recommending this to any friend who is looking to get pregnant or is pregnant. It sparked plenty of questions about what I want in my future pregnancy and provided me with the framework to ask questions and research in a way that feels comfortable to me. Certainly worth picking up and giving a read!
The only thing that made me knock off half a star was the discussion of weight that was based almost entirely on BMI. For a book that debunks many medical myths, it was a bummer to see BMI used as a benchmark when it has been debunked as inaccurate in most cases (Maintenance Phase has a podcast episode about that, which is incredibly informative).
But I will absolutely be recommending this to any friend who is looking to get pregnant or is pregnant. It sparked plenty of questions about what I want in my future pregnancy and provided me with the framework to ask questions and research in a way that feels comfortable to me. Certainly worth picking up and giving a read!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Medical content and Pregnancy
Minor: Child death, Infertility, Miscarriage, Blood, and Medical trauma
More...