sunnyreads's review against another edition
emotional
funny
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.25
ngl she scared me about pregnancy labor and motherhood with this book but the last chapter turned it around for me. i was like shit, is it really this miserable? is that what motherhood is? and apparently yes for the first year. that’s neat.
aharman13's review against another edition
3.0
This book is just okay. Based on the title I really wanted more from it.
bassoonsara's review against another edition
4.0
Horrifying. And yet, your ovaries will still scream at you for baby.
the_knitting_librarian's review against another edition
4.0
Makes me want to write about my early experiences with motherhood.
campirebat's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
ezoots's review against another edition
5.0
This is absolutely the realist shit on motherhood pregnancy and childbirth I have ever read. I related to this book so much. From constantly reading about SIDS to feeling unfit to wanting time to myself. It was such a good read as a new mom like a validation I was neither a monster nor failure that we are all truly muddling through all of this.
lisaeirene's review against another edition
4.0
I really liked this book a lot. I felt like it was something I could have written in my postpartum days. The writing was funny and real and sometimes brutal.
Meaghan and Dustin are young, living in New York City and focusing on their careers, newly engaged, when she gets pregnant. Meaghan is excited but scared, which is normal I think.
"I spent most of my life being just a little bit fat and always figured that pregnancy would be a nice reprieve. [pg 49]"
"I had this image in my mind of how I'd look pregnant, mostly based on the type of woman who posed on lifestyle blogs and looked 'like a beanpole swallowed a bowling ball.' [pg 49]"
I laughed out loud at the part. It's so true. I can remember being kind of jealous of this stick thin women who get pregnant and gain basically no weight except for the basket ball stomach. The author doesn't write a ton about the pregnancy, but she gives highlights. And then she described the birthing process, which was dramatic for her.
"I had drunk the Kool-Aid. I had wanted a 'natural labor and birth' for reasons that, now that I was actually living through natural labor, I no longer related to. [pg 87]"
What interested me most about the memoir was the postpartum stories she shared. I could relate to so many of them. The zombie-like existence from lack of sleep and most interestingly, her struggle with Postpartum Anxiety.
"We slept in short bursts. Whether the baby was crying or not, I woke up with a start and rushed over to him to make sure he was alive. Day and night bled into each other, coalescing into one big nightmare. [pg 114]"
"At night, whether he was crying or not, I woke up every hour or so with a gasp and shone the light of my phone over his face, put my fingers under his nose to feel for breath. [pg 164]"
"What's neurosis and what's maternal instinct? [pg 172]"
It was weird that she never called it PPA in the book. I don't recall that she saw a therapist or was diagnosed with it, but she most definitely had it. I went through that same exact thing: waking up to check on the baby and make sure they are still breathing, being afraid to sleep, checking on them when they make noises and when they don't.
I feel like the author had a real opportunity to shine a light on something people don't talk much about. There is so much focus of PPD and I think a lot of women suffer from PPA and don't even know it. I wish I had known it earlier on, maybe I could have managed some of the anxiety in a better way. So in that regard, I was disappointed in the book. I wish she'd really delved deeper in that topic.
"My body would never be the same. My life would never be the same. My relationship with these women would never be the same. I couldn't make sense of it yet, even to myself, but I felt like there was a glimmer of understanding between us. [pg 128]"
Another part of the memoir I laughed about (which I can laugh NOW about, but not at the time) was her struggles with breastfeeding. This is another postpartum topic that is NOT discussed much. I know books I read barely wrote about it, the birthing class I took spent 15 minutes on breastfeeding and that was it. I went into the whole thing thinking it would be this perfect moment, easy and without struggle, where the baby would just latch on and everything would work like magic--with cherubs and angels singing. Yeah. Nope.
"I couldn't remember what The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding said anymore. Breastfeeding at this point didn't feel like a success so much as an assault, something coming at me faster than I could cope with, happening almost constantly. [pg 139]"
"As soon as the baby latched on, I burst into tears--of relief, of rage. I'd had this idea of what breastfeeding would be like. Not the physical experience, but the lived reality, the timing, the way it was supposed to fit between other things. I thought it would be something happening in the background while I went about my actual life. [pg 142]"
Breastfeeding is HARD and there's a reason why statistic show a large majority of women quit after 6 weeks. When I heard that statistic in my labor class, I was shocked and confused. When the time came to breastfeed my tongue-tied baby? I totally understood. When breastfeeding doesn't work like magic? It kind of sucks. It's hard, it can be painful, your supply can be so bad that it's not even worth it...and then there is all the society pressure of "breast is best". The guilt that moms feel when they have to (or chose to) use formula. If I had to do it again, I would not have stressed so much. Breastfeeding LITERALLY becomes your entire life: feeding, pumping, cleaning the pump supplies, story the milk, defrosting milk, living by the rigid schedule of breastfeeding or pumping every two hours, or if your baby is cluster feeding, all the time.
"It was hard to see this time with our son for what it was: an investment in another person, the sacrifice at the start of a long, rewarding project. It was like a hazing ritual, with all the hardest parts at the beginning. [pg 207]"
I really liked the above quote. It was a good reminder that yes, pregnancy and raising a kid is tough but it's a rewarding investment. A good reminder for those sleepless nights. ;)
I give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. I'd give it 5 (I did love it a lot) but I really wish she'd written more about clinical postpartum anxiety. (Especially reading the reviews on Goodreads where some people said she was "whiny"-- I mean really??? PPD and PPA is not whining. I think people are really ignorant on these topics.)
Meaghan and Dustin are young, living in New York City and focusing on their careers, newly engaged, when she gets pregnant. Meaghan is excited but scared, which is normal I think.
"I spent most of my life being just a little bit fat and always figured that pregnancy would be a nice reprieve. [pg 49]"
"I had this image in my mind of how I'd look pregnant, mostly based on the type of woman who posed on lifestyle blogs and looked 'like a beanpole swallowed a bowling ball.' [pg 49]"
I laughed out loud at the part. It's so true. I can remember being kind of jealous of this stick thin women who get pregnant and gain basically no weight except for the basket ball stomach. The author doesn't write a ton about the pregnancy, but she gives highlights. And then she described the birthing process, which was dramatic for her.
"I had drunk the Kool-Aid. I had wanted a 'natural labor and birth' for reasons that, now that I was actually living through natural labor, I no longer related to. [pg 87]"
What interested me most about the memoir was the postpartum stories she shared. I could relate to so many of them. The zombie-like existence from lack of sleep and most interestingly, her struggle with Postpartum Anxiety.
"We slept in short bursts. Whether the baby was crying or not, I woke up with a start and rushed over to him to make sure he was alive. Day and night bled into each other, coalescing into one big nightmare. [pg 114]"
"At night, whether he was crying or not, I woke up every hour or so with a gasp and shone the light of my phone over his face, put my fingers under his nose to feel for breath. [pg 164]"
"What's neurosis and what's maternal instinct? [pg 172]"
It was weird that she never called it PPA in the book. I don't recall that she saw a therapist or was diagnosed with it, but she most definitely had it. I went through that same exact thing: waking up to check on the baby and make sure they are still breathing, being afraid to sleep, checking on them when they make noises and when they don't.
I feel like the author had a real opportunity to shine a light on something people don't talk much about. There is so much focus of PPD and I think a lot of women suffer from PPA and don't even know it. I wish I had known it earlier on, maybe I could have managed some of the anxiety in a better way. So in that regard, I was disappointed in the book. I wish she'd really delved deeper in that topic.
"My body would never be the same. My life would never be the same. My relationship with these women would never be the same. I couldn't make sense of it yet, even to myself, but I felt like there was a glimmer of understanding between us. [pg 128]"
Another part of the memoir I laughed about (which I can laugh NOW about, but not at the time) was her struggles with breastfeeding. This is another postpartum topic that is NOT discussed much. I know books I read barely wrote about it, the birthing class I took spent 15 minutes on breastfeeding and that was it. I went into the whole thing thinking it would be this perfect moment, easy and without struggle, where the baby would just latch on and everything would work like magic--with cherubs and angels singing. Yeah. Nope.
"I couldn't remember what The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding said anymore. Breastfeeding at this point didn't feel like a success so much as an assault, something coming at me faster than I could cope with, happening almost constantly. [pg 139]"
"As soon as the baby latched on, I burst into tears--of relief, of rage. I'd had this idea of what breastfeeding would be like. Not the physical experience, but the lived reality, the timing, the way it was supposed to fit between other things. I thought it would be something happening in the background while I went about my actual life. [pg 142]"
Breastfeeding is HARD and there's a reason why statistic show a large majority of women quit after 6 weeks. When I heard that statistic in my labor class, I was shocked and confused. When the time came to breastfeed my tongue-tied baby? I totally understood. When breastfeeding doesn't work like magic? It kind of sucks. It's hard, it can be painful, your supply can be so bad that it's not even worth it...and then there is all the society pressure of "breast is best". The guilt that moms feel when they have to (or chose to) use formula. If I had to do it again, I would not have stressed so much. Breastfeeding LITERALLY becomes your entire life: feeding, pumping, cleaning the pump supplies, story the milk, defrosting milk, living by the rigid schedule of breastfeeding or pumping every two hours, or if your baby is cluster feeding, all the time.
"It was hard to see this time with our son for what it was: an investment in another person, the sacrifice at the start of a long, rewarding project. It was like a hazing ritual, with all the hardest parts at the beginning. [pg 207]"
I really liked the above quote. It was a good reminder that yes, pregnancy and raising a kid is tough but it's a rewarding investment. A good reminder for those sleepless nights. ;)
I give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. I'd give it 5 (I did love it a lot) but I really wish she'd written more about clinical postpartum anxiety. (Especially reading the reviews on Goodreads where some people said she was "whiny"-- I mean really??? PPD and PPA is not whining. I think people are really ignorant on these topics.)