Reviews
Stranger Here: How Weight-Loss Surgery Transformed My Body and Messed with My Head, by Jen Larsen
mhall's review against another edition
3.0
EDIT: I read this book in a single day. It reminds me of [b:I'm Not the New Me|131467|I'm Not the New Me|Wendy McClure|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1309211085s/131467.jpg|126614] by Wendy McClure.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
Jen Larsen has written a memoir about what it was like to have weight loss surgery and lose a great deal of weight. In her early 30s and living in San Francisco, she was aware of the Fat Acceptance and Health at Every Size movement (and the back of the book lists some resources on those topics), but she seems to have felt kind of helpless to incorporate their ideas into her own life - and I can understand the attitude, like, good for them but that would never work for ME because I am awful and could never have confidence or self-esteem, etc. When she starts researching surgery, she kind of knows that she's glossing over the reality of what having major surgery is like, in favor of looking at before and after pictures and fantasizing about how her life will change into perfection after she loses a bunch of weight. She's obsessed, and she goes ahead with the surgery.
And despite not being able to stay with the restricted diet that prevents too much malabsorption of vitamins, despite still smoking and drinking alcohol, she escapes major complications and loses over 100 pounds in a year. So that's the story. And it was interesting to read, but some elements were so frustratingly unfinished in the book:
Spoiler
really, what was wrong with her boyfriend? I kept waiting for the revelation I felt was coming: he was cheating, or he had lost his job months ago, or just something about what his problem really was. Why did his hands keep shaking?? And did she ever go to any of the support groups or keep up with the weight loss surgery message boards described in the beginning?I don't know if this is a blog-to-book or not, but I suspect it might be. It reads like it is.
heroineinabook's review against another edition
When I started thinking about getting weight loss surgery (WLS), I went to a close friend of mine who had it a few years prior. She was more than happy to answer my questions and recommended I read Stranger Here, Jen Larsen's memoir on her experiences before, during, and after getting the surgery, to get a perspective and help guide me towards a a decision.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
After reading The Big Reveal (which I LOVED), also by Larsen, I was torn. On one hand I wanted to be like Addie: Confident and inspirational. A person who loves their body and accepts themselves for themselves.
But I'm not Addie and while she's everything every girl should be, it's a struggle to accept myself and I'm old enough to be Addie's mom. If an 18 year old can do it, why can't I?
Reading Stranger Here was like reading my very own private diary that I had no idea that I had written or needed to read. Larsen writes a very poignant story about being fat is more than just weight. Spurned on by society and lack of doctor's willing to use evidence medicine, it tortures our self-perception of ourselves, nearly destroying in the end and how we play into it all.
Near the end of the book, Larsen writes that she does not regret getting WLS but she regrets the years of her life she wasted on not loving herself. The comment is a mere few paragraphs, and Larsen doesn't really expound on it much - the ending and the wrap up of the book was quite quick from Larsen's rhythm, so I wonder how she got there and what she meant.
What does it mean to love yourself? Is it merely a trend about boundaries, self-care, being a spoonie, and self-love? What does it all mean? Why do so many seem to figure it out while people like Larsen and I tend to flounder and wobble as we find ourselves? Are we somehow figuring things out how society has wrecked us not only for our body shape but also for our own mental and emotional health? While trend seems to be a big word to use here, maybe it's time we're taking back control.
Maybe control is the answer. Maybe taking control of our own lives is what begins the self-love healing and acceptance with ourselves. We make choices and live by those choices but being fat is more than about eating too much as so much goes into it like genetics, medicines, and existing conditions. Being fat is not a choice no matter what society tells us.
As I navigate the process of getting WLS from reading studies, other perspectives, and the many dear friends who have had success at it, Larsen's book sticks with me the most. It's a comfort to know I'm not alone and also a comfort to know maybe things are going to be okay. And maybe, just maybe, as I discover more about my own needs and wants, I'll find that I love myself after all no matter what I weigh.
krisis86's review against another edition
2.0
I'm not sure what I expected from this book. My mom had weight loss surgery and I was looking forward into getting some insights into how your brain changes after you go through the surgery (because she went from being a calm, laid-back person into being a demanding type-A personality.)
Instead, the book is filled with lots of moping and whining about being overweight and being scared of the surgery and not having money. It may have been brutally honest, but it wasn't hilarious. And it just wasn't what I was expecting or looking for.
Instead, the book is filled with lots of moping and whining about being overweight and being scared of the surgery and not having money. It may have been brutally honest, but it wasn't hilarious. And it just wasn't what I was expecting or looking for.
jesabesblog's review against another edition
4.0
Jen Larsen has the kind of writing style where you get it. She can make you understand what something was like in a way I'll never be able. I read the book in 24 hours because it was just GOOD.
As promised, it was very honest and, in a way, comprehensive, but it left me with so many questions. The end point seemed random (I guess I'll just stop writing now...) and loose ends didn't get neatly tied. Which, yeah, this is real life, not fiction, so perhaps you don't always get neatly tied bows. But I was hoping for some...closure, I guess.
As promised, it was very honest and, in a way, comprehensive, but it left me with so many questions. The end point seemed random (I guess I'll just stop writing now...) and loose ends didn't get neatly tied. Which, yeah, this is real life, not fiction, so perhaps you don't always get neatly tied bows. But I was hoping for some...closure, I guess.
cheriekg's review against another edition
4.0
Really very well-done. By turns insightful, sharply critical of the weight loss surgery industry, and enlightening about different ways to consider fatness. The "love yourself" ending felt very pat--I kept wondering why she couldn't hear this message before her surgery and what could have worked better--but also sincere. Anyone interested in mind-body connections should read this.
juliemawesome's review against another edition
4.0
I don't consider myself a memoir reader, but I saw the Big Idea for this on Scalzi's Whatever and it intrigued me enough to put a hold on it at the library.
I had trouble putting it down and read through it quite quickly. Very compellingly told.
One thing that did strike me as funny was that before she gets the weight loss surgery, she joins a mailing list and meets people in a support group and sees a bunch of doctors. After the surgery, there is zero mention of any of these things. Not even a mention of.. not going to doctor's appointments, skipping the support group, deleting emails or unsubscribing. Nothing. It was very odd.
There were also more typos than I'd like.
But it seemed very open and honest.
I had trouble putting it down and read through it quite quickly. Very compellingly told.
One thing that did strike me as funny was that before she gets the weight loss surgery, she joins a mailing list and meets people in a support group and sees a bunch of doctors. After the surgery, there is zero mention of any of these things. Not even a mention of.. not going to doctor's appointments, skipping the support group, deleting emails or unsubscribing. Nothing. It was very odd.
There were also more typos than I'd like.
But it seemed very open and honest.
amyrhoda's review against another edition
4.0
Finished it in one day. While eating chocolate, because irony (and Christmas).
This is a terrific book, about lying and hiding and the slow and brutal process of lining up who you are and who you seem to be and who you could be at your best. And how sometimes you make horribly wrong decisions during that process and how it usually turns out okay, or at least interesting, if only you stick around long enough.
Nice one, Jen.
This is a terrific book, about lying and hiding and the slow and brutal process of lining up who you are and who you seem to be and who you could be at your best. And how sometimes you make horribly wrong decisions during that process and how it usually turns out okay, or at least interesting, if only you stick around long enough.
Nice one, Jen.
ebees's review against another edition
5.0
I absolutely loved it! This story gave me insight to something I am very ignorant about and would probably have judged. The author is a very accomplished writer who can bring some humor to a serious subject.