Reviews tagging 'Emotional abuse'

Stay Gold by Tobly McSmith

22 reviews

whosfernn's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I knew almost nothing about this book when I picked it up. Looking at the cover and the blurb, I assumed it would be a cute coming-of-age romance. What it actually is is probably the best, most moving tale of a trans boy I've ever read. It's a very realistic look at the trans experience, especially how it can be to be trans in southern America. Beautiful. One of my favourites, probably my favourite read of 2023 so far. Please read this book.

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journey2's review against another edition

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  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? It's complicated
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
Sometimes I need to take my own advice. If you are not loving a book...it's okay to quit it. And you probably should. 
 But I wanted to see how it ended. 

~☆~ minor spoilers~☆~ 

Stay Gold was not a good read for me. I found this book frustrating. The characters annoyed me and everyone seemed extremely superficial. 

Pony is relentless about the "friend zone" thing with Georgia. She continues to say no to his advances and he continues to pursue. Yes, she likes him, but she has clearly said no and he will not give up and keeps asking for more; including love bombing her with a grand gesture, until he can eventually win her over. 

Our main love interest, Georgia, is so obsessed with her image and social standing right til nearly the end and her change of heart is supposed to be endearing, but by the time we got there I was just so tired of how fake she was. 

I know that in high school everybody's figuring out who they are and who they want to be, but absolutely every character was so fake and two dimensional. In the end, superficial apologies and excuses like "it's just locker room talk" etc seem to 'fix' every off-colour comment or remark. Pony's dad was absolutely horrible to him throughout the entire book and his mom was kind of just complacent and didn't fight for him. A couple sentences at the very end of the book are supposed to redeem him but they just felt forced. Even though lots of things ended up being happy or at least happier, I found this book extremely problematic, frustrating and annoying and I do not recommend it. 

I'm curious as to what the purpose of the storyline about Pony's job served. It didn't really go anywhere except to allow Pony to be nosy and intrusive into somebody else's business and then he got to have a warm fuzzy feeling afterwards. On that note, Pony continued to stick his nose into business that is not his own and it was very annoying. There was a time when Pony and Georgia stuck their noses into something so personal that I actually took time away from the book because I was  exasperated. He was rewarded for it eventually, but it was annoying to read. 

This book was 100% not for me and was just completely filled with red flags.
 I could go on, but I won't! 

Also it's list of trigger warnings is a mile long

 

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cheezyreads's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75


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that_bookworm_guy's review against another edition

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dark emotional medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

This is a hard book to review because right up until the ends, I really didn't like the characters. I get the point being made, I do. Some of the trans information and statistics were well done and a good addition. 

First of all, I defo want to put here that I am a trans man. So this is my view as just 1 trans person.

First of all, the romance. I'm defo not great at reading romance, but I definitely didn't find it cute. This could just be me, I'm really aware that romance just isn't my thing. But it felt so focused. I hated, hated how Pony chased Georgia after she said she didn't want to date him. He was counting down the days it had been since they kissed and was purposely making situations hoping for a kiss. And then after a big love show, she turned him down because he is trans and she was worried about her image. I know this is meant to be a point of growth for the characters as she learns that it doesn't matter but yeah, I didn't like this. 

Max, a trans friend, keeps putting pressure on Pony to be out and proud as a trans man when he keeps repeating that he wants to live stealth after what happened before. Then threatens that if he isn't out he will end the friendship. Emotional blackmail. Nope. As a trans person, I don't know a single trans person who would do this to another trans person. He does apologise later, but only after Pony comes out and gets attacked. Max is an incredibly shitty person and apologising is the very least, but yeah, I defo wouldn't trust or forgive someone for doing that. This is such a harmful situation, Pony should have 100% cut Max out of his life at the first sign of emotional manipulation. I really hope trans youths know that they don't ever have to come out like this. I live stealth in my life at work and I would 100% cut out a friend who expected me to share things online such as Facebook where it could risk outing me. Because respect is the least I ask for. Let alone from another trans person. 

The book also got very dark very suddenly at the end. I understand it happens in life. That trans people get assaulted, and that trans people are at a higher risk of suicide. But I just don't think this was handled well at all. It was almost sudden with no warning. 

If you're expecting a cute romance with some hard hitting bits, then it's worth looking into the TWs. Because this gets incredibly dark. 

There is also theme throughout where Georgia is trying to find out Pony's deadname. It's revealed in the end, and although Georgia says that she didn't really need to know what it was and it doesn't matter, it would have been a much nicer thing if the name was never revealed to the reader. If it truly doesn't matter, then don't mention it. I understand the point that was trying to be made, but it would have made a bigger point to not make a huge point of it. The first 2 letters are revealed part way through the book and I feel like it almost leads the reader to want to figure out his deadname. 

I've rated this 2.5/3* simply because there were some good points in this book and I was semi enjoying the train wreck of the romance thinking that it was just me not enjoying romance, but there are definitely some huge red flags with the romance.

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wooyouknow's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful inspiring lighthearted relaxing medium-paced

3.0

the moment the cishet girl was like “omg queer people have feelings” everybody was like “omg queer people have feelings #pride”

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dealingwithdragons's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0


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ryan_rajp's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0


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nerdysread's review against another edition

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emotional funny inspiring lighthearted reflective sad slow-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

3.0

A really good book about a trans teen who wants to who wants to live a « normal » Life. But then he falls in love and he starts questioning himself and ignore has to tell the girl he loves if he’s trans. 

Also his friend wants him to come out. Not hide himself and live his true self. 

So Pony has to navigate a new life trying to be a new Him, without loosing himself. 

But seriously some things really felt problematic. Like Georgia feeling betrayed because Pony didn’t tell her he’s trans. Like??? It’s dangerous. Max pressuring Pony to come out. But for this I kinda of get both of their pov on the question. 

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dominika13's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful inspiring medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? Yes
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes

4.0


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seawarrior's review against another edition

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emotional informative inspiring sad tense medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? Character
  • Strong character development? Yes
  • Loveable characters? It's complicated
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.0

I really wasn't into this book... and at points I just wanted to quit reading. Pony and Georgia weren't interesting people to me, they both seemed shallow and self-absorbed, so I had a difficult time feeling invested in their motivations, much less their love story. Pony kinda skates along acting toxically masculine throughout the book and isn't given opportunity to truly grow out of that mindset or denounce it. I was honestly really appalled by how he was behaving and how remorseless he felt about it. I transitioned at the same age he did, at the same point in time that he did, and never felt pressured to act as he did, and have known plenty of other trans masculine people who would never dream of behaving so offensively just to pass. It's not a requirement, even around hyper-masculine guys, to go around being misogynistic and LGBTphobic just to be stealth, and I'm sick and tired of young trans boys being convinced otherwise. Pony slightly redeems himself at the end, but I really wasn't satisfied with his character progression, and I still left the story with a sour taste in my mouth. 

Ironically I enjoyed listening to Georgia's voice more, though she also behaves LGBTphobically for immature and downright ridiculous reasons. Her act of redemption is more solid and purposeful by the end. My favorite character in the story was probably Ted London, and I was disappointed that he mostly seemed used as a plot device. I didn't feel satisfied with his development either. 

My other main issue was how there was never really a balance that Pony and Max found between accepting that some people need to be stealth for their own physical and mental safety, and that they can still stick up for other LGBT+ people at the same time. By the end this story read almost like a cautionary tale regarding both their perspectives, but they never even opened a dialogue about it. 

I think the high points of this story are the messages that life continues after being outed, life continues after assault, life continues when binding becomes too dangerous to repeat, life continues when you have to wait for gender affirming medical interventions, life continues after being rejected or mocked for your gender and it continues even when you wish you weren't living it. Trans youth have so much more strength and grit than they usually give themselves credit for. And they're often surrounded by so much more love than they know. I was happy that these ideas were reflected in the book, but mostly at the very end, and only very briefly in comparison with the previous pages. I'm not sure I'd recommend this book to others. It's not totally terrible, but I had a lot of issues with the characters and with the narrative that went unresolved. 

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