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lifethrumay's review against another edition
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.0
This book felt like I was being told a story by a dear friend. It held so much raw emotion and didn't hold back in the slightest. It was real. It was also a little funny, and interesting as I was personally not very accustomed to Korean food, so I was fortunate enough to learn some new dishes that I am excited to one day try. I aspire to be as considerate as Michelle's mother, remembering all my loved ones favourite dishes and flavours.
Just overall, an interesting and worthwhile read. Great book to start off the year.
Just overall, an interesting and worthwhile read. Great book to start off the year.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Addiction and Alcohol
trollmila's review against another edition
emotional
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
I decided that I'd go to sleep early. That did not happen. I took a few days to read the first hundred pages but laying in bed I just became entranced in the book. I spent the second half of the book crying. During the wedding where Zaumer says there wasn't a dry eye in the tent, years later I was crying along with them.
Zaumer writes so well and the flow of the book, where we get flashbacks, where we get brought into the present are so well timed and balanced. I picked up the book finally after it being on my list for so long (shout out library waitlists (I kid I love you libraries)) due to her being a musician I deeply love but kept reading because it was so impactful and well written and structured.
My family lost a parent to cancer in December 2023 and my mother recieved her diagnosis in Oct 2024 but thankfully they were able to remove it. It was a good book and I think I needed the cry.
Zaumer writes so well and the flow of the book, where we get flashbacks, where we get brought into the present are so well timed and balanced. I picked up the book finally after it being on my list for so long (shout out library waitlists (I kid I love you libraries)) due to her being a musician I deeply love but kept reading because it was so impactful and well written and structured.
My family lost a parent to cancer in December 2023 and my mother recieved her diagnosis in Oct 2024 but thankfully they were able to remove it. It was a good book and I think I needed the cry.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Terminal illness, Medical content, Grief, Death of parent, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Addiction, Alcoholism, Drug use, Infidelity, Car accident, and Abortion
town_scar's review against another edition
challenging
dark
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Chronic illness, Death, Racism, Terminal illness, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, Car accident, and Death of parent
Moderate: Addiction, Infidelity, Vomit, and Alcohol
Minor: Abortion
madeline_p4's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, and Death of parent
Moderate: Alcoholism and Alcohol
norygraph's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Terminal illness, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, and Death of parent
Minor: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Cursing, Drug use, Infidelity, Racism, Excrement, Abortion, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
kloughlin's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Terminal illness, Death of parent, and Alcohol
Minor: Infidelity and Abortion
crownoftamriel's review against another edition
emotional
lighthearted
reflective
sad
medium-paced
I really don't want to give a star rating to a memoir! I enjoyed how conversational the writing was. I loved reading all of the author's conflicting thoughts on grief and life and happiness and moving on and the past and how difficult parental relationships are. I thoroughly enjoyed all of her food descriptions and how she found peace and comfort in cooking cultural cuisine. I need a trip to H-Mart stat to make some of these dishes! You will be hungry while reading, and shedding some tears.
I do wish there was a pronunciation guide for the Korean words (mainly food). I bet the audio book does great with that!
I do wish there was a pronunciation guide for the Korean words (mainly food). I bet the audio book does great with that!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Cancer and Death of parent
Minor: Addiction and Alcohol
vb_marie's review against another edition
dark
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
sad
tense
medium-paced
3.0
I found this book interesting but it doesn't match up with my personal preferences. I learned a lot about Korean food and the potential sources of culture clash between South Korean and American cultures. However, a good part of the book deals with sickness and grief without much comic relief. I usually prefer to read works that include at least some humor to soften the darker sides of the story.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Cancer, Death, Terminal illness, Medical content, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Car accident, and Alcohol
Minor: Addiction and Abortion
lydsquids's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
sad
slow-paced
4.5
Oof this was a very hard book to read at times. Overall I love the connection the author and her mother shared through food. The book is a whole journey that reads like memories popping up in the author’s mind as she deals with her mother’s death. I love when relationships like this are written about, the relationship wasn’t perfect but real life isn’t perfect and I saw a lot of myself in some of the situations she wrote about. It’s absolutely true that culture has an effect of how one views certain things and I felt that I understood her takeaways. Reading this was a really rich experience.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death and Alcohol
The author writes about her mother’s death and how she cared for her, got her ready for the funeral home - that might be hard to read for some.shingekiyes's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
4.5
it feels sacrilegious to rate this below a 5, but i must be true to how i feel. i listened to the audiobook while traveling/sick, so i feel that i would have had a deeper experience if i had read the physical book in an environment more conducive to paying close attention.
(spoilers below)
this book was marketed to me by other readers as a book about “mommy issues.” it is that, but it is mostly a gruesome tale of cancer, death, and grief. it is one thing to reflect on a tense relationship with your mother, it is another to endure the trauma of stage four cancer, being a full-time caretaker, watching your parent die prematurely, and being left with a deep sense of regret and resentment with absolutely no closure. this is a book i would recommend (lightly) to friends who have had similar experiences who want to feel validated in their complex feelings about their parents. not everyone has “mommy moms” as Michelle puts it, and that’s okay.
i read a lot of books about mommy issues. i have mommy issues. and this memoir was absolutely visceral, but not in the ways i expected.
i loved how the story of Michelle and Chongmi was told through food, art, and music. Michelle has a way with words… you can tell she is gifted beyond the scope of her nonfiction writing. i felt like i could listen to her narrate recipes and grocery lists all day and not get bored.
while the elements of Michelle’s Korean identity were not applicable to my own experience, i could really feel her pain and understood her perspective very clearly. her story of childhood/teenage fear of fetishization, bullying, and othering was really eye-opening. i found myself really relating to her reflection on that time in her adolescence, the time where she would have done anything to separate herself from her mother, and how as an adult she would do anything to keep her mother inside her, embody her. i loved listening to Michelle grow throughout the overarching timeline. i loved seeing her embrace her Korean heritage, Korean food, Korean family, despite feeling alienated by it at times.
the most emotionally resonant part for me was when Michelle recounts a brief encounter between her and her mother. it was one of the few times they were along together, and Michelle remarked that it was nice that they were finally getting along as a mother and daughter should—they finally had something to talk about. Her mother looks to her and says she finally realized, “I have never met someone like you before.”
this memory—of finally arriving at the turning point in their relationship, with years ahead of understanding and possible friendship to look forward to—made Chongmi’s diagnosis all the more devastating. Michelle rightfully felt cheated out of “good years” with her mother, and i genuinely could feel her the ache of disappointment and the heat of her rage through her narration.
not only was that anger and regret very potent, but the related feeling of resentment towards her mother. questions of my own, painfully relatable, relationship with my family flooded my mind as i listened to Michelle’s flabbergasted response: what do you mean you never met someone like me before? you made me, you created me, i am you, you are me… why couldn’t we see that before? and why did it matter? why did you need to know me and understand me to love me?
throughout the book, one theme is abundantly clear: it is okay to have mixed feelings about our parents. it is okay to yearn for their love and approval, but know that they are flawed people too. we do not have to forgive them, but we must acknowledge their impact on our lives, and to a certain extent, their love.
also—as we get older, we begin to see our parents within us (like Chongmi’s art/paintings and Michelle’s music), and that’s okay. even if they hurt us, we are not them. we can hold pieces of them without being hurt again. there is hope for deeper connection, too, should we want for it.
in the end, i listened to Japanese Breakfast’s first album, Psychopomp as i reflected on the book. i was deeply touched by the influence of grief and growth on the band’s music, and seeing the album cover made me tear up. it is lovely to see that, despite the turmoil in their relationship, Michelle could honor her mother through her art.
Michelle Zauner has a unique and inspiring voice. this was a great read and i will definitely be coming back to it as i age and as i, hopefully, one day, reach that vital turning point with my own mother.
(spoilers below)
this book was marketed to me by other readers as a book about “mommy issues.” it is that, but it is mostly a gruesome tale of cancer, death, and grief. it is one thing to reflect on a tense relationship with your mother, it is another to endure the trauma of stage four cancer, being a full-time caretaker, watching your parent die prematurely, and being left with a deep sense of regret and resentment with absolutely no closure. this is a book i would recommend (lightly) to friends who have had similar experiences who want to feel validated in their complex feelings about their parents. not everyone has “mommy moms” as Michelle puts it, and that’s okay.
i read a lot of books about mommy issues. i have mommy issues. and this memoir was absolutely visceral, but not in the ways i expected.
i loved how the story of Michelle and Chongmi was told through food, art, and music. Michelle has a way with words… you can tell she is gifted beyond the scope of her nonfiction writing. i felt like i could listen to her narrate recipes and grocery lists all day and not get bored.
while the elements of Michelle’s Korean identity were not applicable to my own experience, i could really feel her pain and understood her perspective very clearly. her story of childhood/teenage fear of fetishization, bullying, and othering was really eye-opening. i found myself really relating to her reflection on that time in her adolescence, the time where she would have done anything to separate herself from her mother, and how as an adult she would do anything to keep her mother inside her, embody her. i loved listening to Michelle grow throughout the overarching timeline. i loved seeing her embrace her Korean heritage, Korean food, Korean family, despite feeling alienated by it at times.
the most emotionally resonant part for me was when Michelle recounts a brief encounter between her and her mother. it was one of the few times they were along together, and Michelle remarked that it was nice that they were finally getting along as a mother and daughter should—they finally had something to talk about. Her mother looks to her and says she finally realized, “I have never met someone like you before.”
this memory—of finally arriving at the turning point in their relationship, with years ahead of understanding and possible friendship to look forward to—made Chongmi’s diagnosis all the more devastating. Michelle rightfully felt cheated out of “good years” with her mother, and i genuinely could feel her the ache of disappointment and the heat of her rage through her narration.
not only was that anger and regret very potent, but the related feeling of resentment towards her mother. questions of my own, painfully relatable, relationship with my family flooded my mind as i listened to Michelle’s flabbergasted response: what do you mean you never met someone like me before? you made me, you created me, i am you, you are me… why couldn’t we see that before? and why did it matter? why did you need to know me and understand me to love me?
throughout the book, one theme is abundantly clear: it is okay to have mixed feelings about our parents. it is okay to yearn for their love and approval, but know that they are flawed people too. we do not have to forgive them, but we must acknowledge their impact on our lives, and to a certain extent, their love.
also—as we get older, we begin to see our parents within us (like Chongmi’s art/paintings and Michelle’s music), and that’s okay. even if they hurt us, we are not them. we can hold pieces of them without being hurt again. there is hope for deeper connection, too, should we want for it.
in the end, i listened to Japanese Breakfast’s first album, Psychopomp as i reflected on the book. i was deeply touched by the influence of grief and growth on the band’s music, and seeing the album cover made me tear up. it is lovely to see that, despite the turmoil in their relationship, Michelle could honor her mother through her art.
Michelle Zauner has a unique and inspiring voice. this was a great read and i will definitely be coming back to it as i age and as i, hopefully, one day, reach that vital turning point with my own mother.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cancer, Death, Terminal illness, Xenophobia, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Body shaming, Racial slurs, Racism, Toxic relationship, and Alcohol
Minor: Child abuse, Car accident, and Abortion