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jazzinbuns's review against another edition
5.0
This is the kind of different that we need. I haven't read many books centered on LGBTQ+. It considered the exploration some teens/young adults go through when discovering themselves and it was exactly what I needed.
missbookiverse's review
3.0
Eigentlich wollte ich ja damit anfangen das Buch zu loben, weil es so vielfältig informiert. Es geht um Themen wie die richtigen Pronomen (oder überhaupt welche?), um die Identifikation mit dem eigenen (oder eben nicht) Geschlecht, um das “transitioning” von Transgendern und noch viel mehr. Blöd nur, dass mich zahlreiche Rezensionen im Anschluss darüber informiert haben, dass der Begriff “genderqueer” hier anscheinend falsch verwendet wird. Toni identifiziert sich über große Teile des Buches mit diesem Begriff, es wird aber schnell klar, dass es Toni in die Transgender-Richtung zieht und so wirkt es, als wäre “genderqueer” einfach eine Phase, in der jemand noch nicht so recht weiß, was xer (das ist ein mögliches geschlechtsneutrales Pronomen) eigentlich möchte. Ähnlich wie manche Bisexualität nur als eine “Phase des Ausprobierens” sehen und nicht als tatsächliche Orientierung. Mir selbst ist unmöglich zu beurteilen, ob das jetzt falsche Informationen oder eine Frage der Auslegung ist. Viele der Begriffe zu dem Thema sind sehr schwammig und für persönliche Interpretationen offen.
Wer das außer Acht lassen kann, bekommt eine Menge Gedankenfutter. Es werden zahlreiche Aspekte beleuchtet und meistens wird klar, dass es zwar Vor- und Nachteile, aber keine perfekte Antwort gibt. Jede/r muss eben für sich selbst entscheiden, ob und wie xer Pronomen benutzen möchte, oder ob es respektlos ist geschlechtsneutrale Anreden zu verwenden, wenn die Person z.B. trans ist und sich eindeutig als Mann identifiziert. Die meisten dieser Gedanken brütet Toni in Tonis Kopf aus und da kann es schon mal sehr verwirrend zugehen, was wiederum passt, weil es unglaublich überwältigend sein muss, wenn man merkt, dass das bei der Geburt zugewiesene Geschlecht nicht mit der eigenen Persönlichkeit übereinstimmt.
Leider überschatten diese Themen alles andere. Die Beziehungsprobleme von Toni und Gretchen konnte ich gar nicht richtig ernst nehmen, weil immer nur behauptet wurde wie sehr sie sich lieben. Zu spüren gab es davon wenig und viel Persönlichkeit außerhalb ihrer Geschlechtsidentitäten hatten sie auch nicht. Dabei hat Gretchen eigentlich Potenzial mit ihrer Liebe zu New York und ihrem Drang eine gute Freundin zu sein. Ich fand es so nachvollziehbar, wie sie sich manchmal nicht traut bei Toni noch mal nachzufragen, weil sie findet, dass sie vieles schon wissen oder erahnen sollte. Meisten besteht der College-Alltag der beiden aber aus zu wenig Schlaf, viel Lernerei, Gender-Debatten, Partys und Alkohol.
Wer das außer Acht lassen kann, bekommt eine Menge Gedankenfutter. Es werden zahlreiche Aspekte beleuchtet und meistens wird klar, dass es zwar Vor- und Nachteile, aber keine perfekte Antwort gibt. Jede/r muss eben für sich selbst entscheiden, ob und wie xer Pronomen benutzen möchte, oder ob es respektlos ist geschlechtsneutrale Anreden zu verwenden, wenn die Person z.B. trans ist und sich eindeutig als Mann identifiziert. Die meisten dieser Gedanken brütet Toni in Tonis Kopf aus und da kann es schon mal sehr verwirrend zugehen, was wiederum passt, weil es unglaublich überwältigend sein muss, wenn man merkt, dass das bei der Geburt zugewiesene Geschlecht nicht mit der eigenen Persönlichkeit übereinstimmt.
Leider überschatten diese Themen alles andere. Die Beziehungsprobleme von Toni und Gretchen konnte ich gar nicht richtig ernst nehmen, weil immer nur behauptet wurde wie sehr sie sich lieben. Zu spüren gab es davon wenig und viel Persönlichkeit außerhalb ihrer Geschlechtsidentitäten hatten sie auch nicht. Dabei hat Gretchen eigentlich Potenzial mit ihrer Liebe zu New York und ihrem Drang eine gute Freundin zu sein. Ich fand es so nachvollziehbar, wie sie sich manchmal nicht traut bei Toni noch mal nachzufragen, weil sie findet, dass sie vieles schon wissen oder erahnen sollte. Meisten besteht der College-Alltag der beiden aber aus zu wenig Schlaf, viel Lernerei, Gender-Debatten, Partys und Alkohol.
aelong1399's review against another edition
3.0
I love Robin Talley’s writing, and it was awesome to see a gender non-conforming character.
ethanssss's review against another edition
3.0
very good book, amazing character development for Toni/Tony. Gretchin's e character was nice but not a great development. She felt like more of a side character to me.
Over all great book and worth a read.
Over all great book and worth a read.
kphelps's review against another edition
2.0
2.5???? I have a problem with a good chunk of the characters in this book AND a lot of what happens. (Carroll's character is a straight-up asshole and nothing he does is okay.) But I do think this topic is important, especially for YA - so I'm definitely glad I read it.
jadziadax's review against another edition
Me earlier today: "Okay so far I'm enjoying this but I just skimmed through the reviews and yikes I am super concerned (and disappointed, I was expecting better after Lies We Tell Ourselves, which was so good). Should I even bother reading it if the representation is so flawed?"
Me now: I can't do this, it's a disaster honestly. I can not finish this book. I ended up skimming it to see what happened, but yeah...
First of all I want to say while I am not straight in my sexuality, I am cis and have not experienced what T has. But the reviews all seem to be having the same tone, so I am guessing I'm correct in thinking that this is terrible genderqueer representation. Yes, I am sure there are people that use genderqueer and then decide they are ftm or mtm. But the books acts like that is the case for EVERYONE. It acts like genderqueer is not a real identity.
This book has...I dunno know it some redeeming qualities I guess. Maybe.
Oh and I am pretty sure there is a teacher interested in T but I am not 100% sure. If so; ugh stop this.
Lines I hated:
ex "welcome to the formely genderqueer party!' (paraphrasing slightly) said via T's friends
lots of stuff Carroll said (if my friend said those things about my SO I would ditch that friend so fast but no Gretchen does not)
and that part many have pointed out where 'if you post pics of yourself in a bikini you are not a feminist'. WTF.
I'm incredibly disappointed by this. I loved Lies We Tell Ourselves, but this book...no.
Me now: I can't do this, it's a disaster honestly. I can not finish this book. I ended up skimming it to see what happened, but yeah...
First of all I want to say while I am not straight in my sexuality, I am cis and have not experienced what T has. But the reviews all seem to be having the same tone, so I am guessing I'm correct in thinking that this is terrible genderqueer representation. Yes, I am sure there are people that use genderqueer and then decide they are ftm or mtm. But the books acts like that is the case for EVERYONE. It acts like genderqueer is not a real identity.
This book has...I dunno know it some redeeming qualities I guess. Maybe.
Oh and I am pretty sure there is a teacher interested in T but I am not 100% sure. If so; ugh stop this.
Lines I hated:
ex "welcome to the formely genderqueer party!' (paraphrasing slightly) said via T's friends
lots of stuff Carroll said (if my friend said those things about my SO I would ditch that friend so fast but no Gretchen does not)
and that part many have pointed out where 'if you post pics of yourself in a bikini you are not a feminist'. WTF.
I'm incredibly disappointed by this. I loved Lies We Tell Ourselves, but this book...no.
jessdemarest's review against another edition
4.0
I really liked the structure of this book, and how we got to continually see both Tony and Gretchen’s point of view. The shifting perspective really kept the story moving forward. And I liked that Robin didn’t try to wrap it up in a nice little bow at the end. It still feels finished and hopeful, but it’s also a little messy and real, which feels genuine.
Ultimately, kudos to Robin for writing this story in a way that allows us to consider something incredibly complex and personal—who we are, both as individuals and with others—in a really thoughtful and multilayered way.
Ultimately, kudos to Robin for writing this story in a way that allows us to consider something incredibly complex and personal—who we are, both as individuals and with others—in a really thoughtful and multilayered way.
powisamy's review against another edition
2.0
I have so many emotions about this book. I just see so many things wrong with it...
Review:
This book follows Toni who identifies as genderqueer and her relationship with Gretchen as they go away to separate universities, one going to Havard, the other NYU.
The book did sound really good and when I started reading this book back in August and I really liked the characters and was fully invested in the writing, it was definitely well-written. However as the book progresses you see how problematic it is. Toni switches between genderqueer and transgender and as a lot of people on Goodreads said this is not a reality for many people who identify as gender-queer.
I also had problems with the relationship with Toni and Gretchen as the story progresses and I did not like the direction that it went in at all. Saying this I did like both Toni and Gretchen but the characters that they surround themselves with are not very nice... at all. One of Grethen's friends consistently calls Toni derogatory terms that I don't really want to say on my blog as Toni identifies with being genderqueer. This is ironic because for a book that celebrates LGBT+ issues in a book it just doesn't seem right and I really dislikes this aspect. I understand that this may be what some people in society still think but I would not have included in a book personally. I also have problems with the way that characters especially Toni talks about feminism in this book, suggesting that just because Cheerleaders do a carwash in their bikinis they can't be feminism when to me this just is not right at all.
I do feel like this book would be really good if you did not really know about LGBTQ+ issues and would definitely be more of a romance story but this just was not the case for me. I have heard good things about Robin Talley's other books so I hope I enjoy them more than this one.
Review:
This book follows Toni who identifies as genderqueer and her relationship with Gretchen as they go away to separate universities, one going to Havard, the other NYU.
The book did sound really good and when I started reading this book back in August and I really liked the characters and was fully invested in the writing, it was definitely well-written. However as the book progresses you see how problematic it is. Toni switches between genderqueer and transgender and as a lot of people on Goodreads said this is not a reality for many people who identify as gender-queer.
I also had problems with the relationship with Toni and Gretchen as the story progresses and I did not like the direction that it went in at all. Saying this I did like both Toni and Gretchen but the characters that they surround themselves with are not very nice... at all. One of Grethen's friends consistently calls Toni derogatory terms that I don't really want to say on my blog as Toni identifies with being genderqueer. This is ironic because for a book that celebrates LGBT+ issues in a book it just doesn't seem right and I really dislikes this aspect. I understand that this may be what some people in society still think but I would not have included in a book personally. I also have problems with the way that characters especially Toni talks about feminism in this book, suggesting that just because Cheerleaders do a carwash in their bikinis they can't be feminism when to me this just is not right at all.
I do feel like this book would be really good if you did not really know about LGBTQ+ issues and would definitely be more of a romance story but this just was not the case for me. I have heard good things about Robin Talley's other books so I hope I enjoy them more than this one.
mckinlay's review against another edition
i am DNFing this after two chapters because my eyes can only handle so much rolling before i become concerned that they will get stuck that way. maybe this gets better, but i will never know.