wanserjc's review against another edition
3.0
An interesting book, at once clever and strange. There are too many dualities here. The author asked his wife to comment on the book, and those comments appear as footnotes. They form a good contrast in perspective. On the other hand, Marche's tendency to overwrite is on display. His use of jargon is greater than necessary, with the result that the meaning of sentences is sometimes lost in the verbiage, whether literary, sociological, or philosophical. And he should have stayed away from the postmodern thinkers.
estellabelle92's review against another edition
4.0
I heard the author on MPR and knew I had to read it. Men, women, complications. Written primarily by a man, but with footnotes by his wife, who I wish would have commented more in the book.
I didn't necessarily buy into all his explanations, but I appreciated his openness and candor.
p. 10: The problem with mansplaining as a term is that men also have to deal with mansplainers. Mention you have a doctorate in Shakespeare, and they'll tell you everything they learned about Romeo and Juliet in junior high. mention that you write for magazines, and they'll ruin your evening droning on about what makes a great magazine story, even though they've never written an effective email. The correct response to the guy who told Solnit about her own book is to laugh in his face. laugh at him because he's weak.
I recognize that I am now mansplaining mansplaining."
I didn't necessarily buy into all his explanations, but I appreciated his openness and candor.
p. 10: The problem with mansplaining as a term is that men also have to deal with mansplainers. Mention you have a doctorate in Shakespeare, and they'll tell you everything they learned about Romeo and Juliet in junior high. mention that you write for magazines, and they'll ruin your evening droning on about what makes a great magazine story, even though they've never written an effective email. The correct response to the guy who told Solnit about her own book is to laugh in his face. laugh at him because he's weak.
I recognize that I am now mansplaining mansplaining."
loribeth1961's review
3.0
I picked up "The Unmade Bed: The Messy Truth About Men and Women in the 21st Century" by Stephen Marche because of (a) the intriguing cover (both text & design) an (b) the intriguing prospect of getting a male perspective on the rapidly evolving state of male-female relationships in the early 21st century.
As promised on the cover, Marche's wife, Sarah Fulford, editor of Toronto Life magazine, adds a running (and often tart) commentary in the footnotes, expanding on her husband's observations and sometimes offering an alternative opinion or version of events as he described them. I found myself wishing there had been more of her comments included. A "he said, she said" book with alternating viewpoints might have been a more interesting way to tackle this subject.
It's not a long book, a little over 200 well spaced pages of text in a readably large font, plus footnotes -- and yet it took me a while to wade through because the prose in some parts got pretty dense. The book starts off with a discussion of mansplaining (Marche makes the wry observation that he's mansplaining about mansplaining) and the idea that men and women cannot understand each other. Further topics discussed include what Marche called "the hollow patriarchy," modern fatherhood, gender differences and hyper-masculinity, personal politics/political correctness & outrage, and the differences in raising boys vs girls. And then there's a chapter on porn that actually made my eyes glaze over (I'm still not entirely sure what point he was trying to make). The final chapter takes on that most contentious of subjects: who does the housework. (And if you need a hint as to what Marche thinks about it all, the title of the chapter is "The Case for Living in Filth.")
There were some thought-provoking points made throughout the book, and I marked a couple of passages with post-it notes.
Final verdict: It was interesting in parts, but dragged in others. The addition of Fulford's side commentary was an interesting touch, but I would have liked more of it. Three stars.
As promised on the cover, Marche's wife, Sarah Fulford, editor of Toronto Life magazine, adds a running (and often tart) commentary in the footnotes, expanding on her husband's observations and sometimes offering an alternative opinion or version of events as he described them. I found myself wishing there had been more of her comments included. A "he said, she said" book with alternating viewpoints might have been a more interesting way to tackle this subject.
It's not a long book, a little over 200 well spaced pages of text in a readably large font, plus footnotes -- and yet it took me a while to wade through because the prose in some parts got pretty dense. The book starts off with a discussion of mansplaining (Marche makes the wry observation that he's mansplaining about mansplaining) and the idea that men and women cannot understand each other. Further topics discussed include what Marche called "the hollow patriarchy," modern fatherhood, gender differences and hyper-masculinity, personal politics/political correctness & outrage, and the differences in raising boys vs girls. And then there's a chapter on porn that actually made my eyes glaze over (I'm still not entirely sure what point he was trying to make). The final chapter takes on that most contentious of subjects: who does the housework. (And if you need a hint as to what Marche thinks about it all, the title of the chapter is "The Case for Living in Filth.")
There were some thought-provoking points made throughout the book, and I marked a couple of passages with post-it notes.
Final verdict: It was interesting in parts, but dragged in others. The addition of Fulford's side commentary was an interesting touch, but I would have liked more of it. Three stars.
erinkelly's review against another edition
2.0
The first 80 pages are great and then it's all downhill and repetitive from there. I learned a lot but could hardly make it to the end. I do think a lot of this is because he's a pop culture commentator so he sees a lot more "bros" and obnoxious men. I was reading the section about men not doing housework while my boyfriend was cooking and cleaning our apartment - so it didn't all line up. I get the point, but he took it a bit far.
will_sargent's review
2.0
This is not a great book. It’s supposed to be a book about feminism and gender equality from the perspective of a married man, with his wife providing notes.
Instead, it’s a collection of magazine think pieces. And what I mean by that is that the author is more interested in his sentences and his soundbites than in his thesis. His chapters on patriarchy and fatherhood are solid, where he talks about money and jobs and status... but it goes downhill very quickly in his chapter on porn (Dworkin? Really? Male sexuality fundamentally about brutality and power?) and cribs from Christina Hoffman Summers on his son... and then collapses completely with his utterly banal observations on housework and standards of personal cleanliness.
At no point does he attempt to go out and talk to other men and try to get other perspectives. It’s him in a room, and whatever books he can get. His wife’s footnotes are actually the best bit as they provide much needed relief to listening to this man’s voice.
Instead, it’s a collection of magazine think pieces. And what I mean by that is that the author is more interested in his sentences and his soundbites than in his thesis. His chapters on patriarchy and fatherhood are solid, where he talks about money and jobs and status... but it goes downhill very quickly in his chapter on porn (Dworkin? Really? Male sexuality fundamentally about brutality and power?) and cribs from Christina Hoffman Summers on his son... and then collapses completely with his utterly banal observations on housework and standards of personal cleanliness.
At no point does he attempt to go out and talk to other men and try to get other perspectives. It’s him in a room, and whatever books he can get. His wife’s footnotes are actually the best bit as they provide much needed relief to listening to this man’s voice.
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