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axl98's review
4.0
As much as I love the outdoors, the stories Guignard tells of staying alone in a tent, with only a dog to protect her, or hiking naked through the woods, instantly fill me with a gut feeling of fear. I know she must’ve been okay, because she’s writing this book, but there is still a moment of terror where I, like her mother and female friends at many points throughout the book, am thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. I found myself thinking about how much I wished all women were comfortable being independent as she was. Guignard clearly gained a lot from her experiences outdoors: she grew to trust herself, both her knowledge and her instincts; she became comfortable with her bare face, her unstyled hair, her functional clothing (Guignard, 2019, 164). How much different would society be if she and women like her were the majority, rather than outliers? If a woman’s comfort with her natural form was embraced rather than discouraged? When she worked selling Christmas trees, she mentions that a trainer once taught women that “a little makeup can compensate for all your hauling and sawing and loading,” as if a woman being visibly strong was a disadvantage that she must somehow make up for (Guignard, 2019, 63). But this perspective is hardly rare: when I first buzzed my head, I was told that I would now “have to wear a lot of makeup” if I were to be palatable. It goes all the way back to the “three-article rule” of the 50s and 60s, which required people to wear at least three items of clothing that “matched their gender.” Sure, women can be muscular, or have short hair—as long as they wear makeup, and don’t dress too “masculine.”
Over the past few years, as I have interacted with diverse groups of women, I have managed to become comfortable with my natural form—I never wear makeup or shave, and I’ve reached the point where I don’t stress when I gain or lose weight—and being completely content and happy with yourself is something that no outside force can take away from you. An important aspect of this, to me, was truly recognizing that I do not occupy a body—I AM my body. Once you recognize this, it is harder to cut your body up into pieces of “wanted” and “unwanted.” Guignard, by living such a physical life, seemed to have connected to her body in the same way, despite the misogyny she so often encountered. At one point she states that “(o)nce I recognized how fickle my preconceptions were, it helped me let go of preconceptions” (Guignard, 2019, 209). I liked this line, and it’s a perspective that I hope all women reach. Though, as she mentions, comparing yourself to others never fully goes away, it can get better, and you can recognize that comparing yourself to others never brings you comfort. Even if you are comparing yourself favorably to other women, there is no real happiness that comes from putting down other women.
On the other hand, one thing that I felt deeply uncomfortable without throughout the book was how Guignard would make excuses for the actions of men around her. This starts early on, when she shares a tent with Mike, who proceeds to sexually assault her as she sleeps. Twice. Though she refers to it only as “getting amorous,” kissing and touching someone as she sleeps, when you have at no point been romantically involved, is blatantly assault (Guignard, 2019, 19). Despite this she refers to him as a “person of character,” presumably for not actually raping her, and blames herself for not “clarifying her tent intentions” beforehand (Guignard, 2019, 32; Guignard, 2019, 20). She refers to misogynistic men as “product of culture,” which is certainly true, but at times it seems as though she uses this explanation to absolve them of blame (Guignard, 2019, 79). When she discusses how men “provide” and women “pa(y) with their bodies” throughout history, she immediately follows it up with “(n)ot that either guy was thinking this so calculatingly” (Guignard, 2019, 20). This frustrated me. Why was she defending the transactional way men view their relationships with women? Women’s oppression is not accidental. Men know what they are doing, as they have been doing it for centuries. It did not ruin the book for me, but it made it harder for me to connect to her story.
Over the past few years, as I have interacted with diverse groups of women, I have managed to become comfortable with my natural form—I never wear makeup or shave, and I’ve reached the point where I don’t stress when I gain or lose weight—and being completely content and happy with yourself is something that no outside force can take away from you. An important aspect of this, to me, was truly recognizing that I do not occupy a body—I AM my body. Once you recognize this, it is harder to cut your body up into pieces of “wanted” and “unwanted.” Guignard, by living such a physical life, seemed to have connected to her body in the same way, despite the misogyny she so often encountered. At one point she states that “(o)nce I recognized how fickle my preconceptions were, it helped me let go of preconceptions” (Guignard, 2019, 209). I liked this line, and it’s a perspective that I hope all women reach. Though, as she mentions, comparing yourself to others never fully goes away, it can get better, and you can recognize that comparing yourself to others never brings you comfort. Even if you are comparing yourself favorably to other women, there is no real happiness that comes from putting down other women.
On the other hand, one thing that I felt deeply uncomfortable without throughout the book was how Guignard would make excuses for the actions of men around her. This starts early on, when she shares a tent with Mike, who proceeds to sexually assault her as she sleeps. Twice. Though she refers to it only as “getting amorous,” kissing and touching someone as she sleeps, when you have at no point been romantically involved, is blatantly assault (Guignard, 2019, 19). Despite this she refers to him as a “person of character,” presumably for not actually raping her, and blames herself for not “clarifying her tent intentions” beforehand (Guignard, 2019, 32; Guignard, 2019, 20). She refers to misogynistic men as “product of culture,” which is certainly true, but at times it seems as though she uses this explanation to absolve them of blame (Guignard, 2019, 79). When she discusses how men “provide” and women “pa(y) with their bodies” throughout history, she immediately follows it up with “(n)ot that either guy was thinking this so calculatingly” (Guignard, 2019, 20). This frustrated me. Why was she defending the transactional way men view their relationships with women? Women’s oppression is not accidental. Men know what they are doing, as they have been doing it for centuries. It did not ruin the book for me, but it made it harder for me to connect to her story.
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