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silascaptor's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
mysterious
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Infidelity, Sexism, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Grief, Lesbophobia, and Alcohol
librarymouse's review against another edition
adventurous
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
What an odd book. Paul is a strange, yet often lovely character. His hedonism was off putting at first, and I initially had a hard time reconciling my enjoyment of the writing with my dislike of Paul, but the further the novel progressed, the more sympathetic of a character Paul became. Paul's experience of gender and the way Lawlor represents that on the page is something unique and special. It shows the ways in which we try and fail and try again to externally represent our interior experiences of selfhood, but made magical in its visibility. Similarly, Paul's struggles to maintain expression of exclusively male or female features at different points throughout the novel, in order to fulfil the desires of someone else felt so real and exemplary of the struggle between external expression and internal experience when trying to find an aesthetic that feels comfortable as someone who doesn't feel that either gender fits quite right. I think I liked the consistent use of "he" as Paul's pronouns despite his spending a large portion of the novel as a girl. I think it's an interesting comment, again, on the way selfhood is experienced, but also for the idea that gender expression doesn't necessarily equate to gender identity/experience. However, I can understand the critiques of the use of "he" exclusively as falling into the pitfalls of gender essentialism. It's a very narrow line.
Paul being made a more sympathetic character for me, comes to fruition as he finally flashes back to when and why he chose to leave New York for the Midwest after the boy he loved and left; and to whom he always assumed he'd return to at some point, dies of HIV/AIDS before Paul works up the courage to call him back. The slips of memories of the friends and lovers there one day and gone the next, blurry around the edges with grief and the rapidity of their deaths offer an alternative lens through which to view Paul's escape and the risks he's willing to take, thinking he's found a safe place where illness can't take those he cares for. While it's never quite clear whether or not he can get HIV/AIDS, the risks he takes after his love's death take on a nihilistic tone, ready and willing to put himself in danger for the thrill of it. Behind the hedonism, there's such raw and tender humanity.
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
At the start I almost DNF'd this book. After some post-reading contemplation, this is a 5 star read,
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcoholism, Death, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexism, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Blood, Excrement, Medical content, Grief, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Biphobia, Body horror, Drug use, Lesbophobia, and Pandemic/Epidemic
Minor: Dysphoria
clarkg's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
I really enjoyed this book! At first blush, it's about shapeshifting, perception, queer life, and the refusal to be defined by any one thing--whether that be gender, genre, or subculture. Based on this premise alone, I worried that genderbending would be played for shock value, which would have been kind of tired as far as queer fiction goes. Lawlor's prose quickly burned away my misgivings and delivered a sharp, complicating, and tender tableau of queer desire and community.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Sexual content, Terminal illness, Grief, and Alcohol
Moderate: Transphobia, Vomit, and Abandonment
Minor: Hate crime and Cultural appropriation
joensign's review against another edition
adventurous
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Transphobia
Moderate: Drug use, Homophobia, and Alcohol
americattt's review against another edition
adventurous
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
“What was sex but newness? And sensation and conquest and intrigue and desire and fantasy, and specific people sometimes, sure, but not always.”
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Alcohol
Moderate: Death and Homophobia
kitaface's review against another edition
4.0
Complex.
I wanted more conclusion, but shouldn't have expected it from those book. I feel like I'll want to read this again.
I wanted more conclusion, but shouldn't have expected it from those book. I feel like I'll want to read this again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Alcohol
seventhswan's review against another edition
adventurous
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.25
I can easily get behind a book where not a lot happens plotwise - some of my favourite books are this way. This is certainly a book more focused on the internal lives of its characters than dramatic events, but unfortunately I didn’t really warm to Paul, and got bored over the course of the story as he didn’t seem to develop or change (besides the obvious physical changes) at all.
That said, the various settings in the book really came to life and shone. I enjoyed reading the descriptions of the various places and the queer communities there, as well as the minor characters that popped in and out of Paul’s life.
I’ve accepted by now that magical realism just isn’t for me and I tried not to let my personal preference affect my review when I knew there would be magical elements going in. But… what did Paul’s shapeshifting really add to the story that couldn’t have been achieved by just making him a genderfluid or non-binary character?
Overall I didn’t dislike this book, it was a well-paced read stacked with queer culture and I don’t regret reading it - I just thought I would enjoy it more than I ended up doing.
That said, the various settings in the book really came to life and shone. I enjoyed reading the descriptions of the various places and the queer communities there, as well as the minor characters that popped in and out of Paul’s life.
I’ve accepted by now that magical realism just isn’t for me and I tried not to let my personal preference affect my review when I knew there would be magical elements going in. But… what did Paul’s shapeshifting really add to the story that couldn’t have been achieved by just making him a genderfluid or non-binary character?
Overall I didn’t dislike this book, it was a well-paced read stacked with queer culture and I don’t regret reading it - I just thought I would enjoy it more than I ended up doing.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Alcohol
Moderate: Misogyny
Minor: Death and Racism
james1star's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.25
I find this book quite a hard one to cement my thoughts on…. overall I think it was a decent read but also had quite a few issues too. In it we’re following Paul (/Polly), a twenty two year old old queer person in the early nighties. But he (the character is very likely what we’d call non-binary with they/them pronouns now but Lawlor decides to only use ‘he’ so I will too) is also a shapeshifter, able to change his body and parts and flips between male and female biologically. It’s set first in Iowa city with a more emerging queer scene, but moves to Provincetown and San Francisco where the queer history of these places are more established but obviously different given the New England coastal town and thriving city locations. In these spaces, Paul explores his sexuality and gender identity in a rather eye-opening way trying to categorise himself but ‘failing’ to do so given he really doesn’t know. There’s also little folk-like tales interspersed throughout which I came to read as alternative origin stories of how Paul got his shape shifting powers from and whilst they didn’t really add anything to the story, they were good.
Whilst above is the main plot, it’s in many ways a love letter to the nighties. Lawlor infuses many references to the music, tv and film, books, art and other parts of the culture with a strong focus on queer creators which I revelled in. They at times list these mentions and I had to do so too because the decade was a time of great change with many facets to discover. What’s also great is the inclusion of time-specific mentions as we’re following queer characters and their lives in a time of queer-phobia and the HIV/AIDS epidemic of the eighties following into the early nighties. The best part for me was from the pages 273-278 where Paul is thinking back to his time spent in New York with an old partner as they worked with AIDS organisations and it was just exceptional: the topic, what happened and in a sense the anger and injustice present in that little passage was so hard hitting and despite the theme I loved it.
The book definitely had things to say and messages to put across but they’re cheapened by what I found to be my main criticism of the book. And that’s the hyper fixation on sex. I liked how sex positive and freeing I guess it was to start but when the same things are basically rehashed multiple times it gets boring and rather crude too. Paul’s sexual encounters and ‘victories’ were focused on far too much and it took me out of the story. It’s also clear Lawlor put more detail and emphasis on this then the other passages and descriptions which aren’t bad but I could tell a divide.
Overall, I would recommend this and it’s rather unique but the real meaning and crux of what the author was trying to portray and say was definitely cheapened by what happens for most of the book. It got better as it went along but what had already happened was too much to not allow any higher rating then I’ve given it. It’s possible on a re-read I might get more but unlikely.
Whilst above is the main plot, it’s in many ways a love letter to the nighties. Lawlor infuses many references to the music, tv and film, books, art and other parts of the culture with a strong focus on queer creators which I revelled in. They at times list these mentions and I had to do so too because the decade was a time of great change with many facets to discover. What’s also great is the inclusion of time-specific mentions as we’re following queer characters and their lives in a time of queer-phobia and the HIV/AIDS epidemic of the eighties following into the early nighties. The best part for me was from the pages 273-278 where Paul is thinking back to his time spent in New York with an old partner as they worked with AIDS organisations and it was just exceptional: the topic, what happened and in a sense the anger and injustice present in that little passage was so hard hitting and despite the theme I loved it.
The book definitely had things to say and messages to put across but they’re cheapened by what I found to be my main criticism of the book. And that’s the hyper fixation on sex. I liked how sex positive and freeing I guess it was to start but when the same things are basically rehashed multiple times it gets boring and rather crude too. Paul’s sexual encounters and ‘victories’ were focused on far too much and it took me out of the story. It’s also clear Lawlor put more detail and emphasis on this then the other passages and descriptions which aren’t bad but I could tell a divide.
Overall, I would recommend this and it’s rather unique but the real meaning and crux of what the author was trying to portray and say was definitely cheapened by what happens for most of the book. It got better as it went along but what had already happened was too much to not allow any higher rating then I’ve given it. It’s possible on a re-read I might get more but unlikely.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Cursing, Death, Drug abuse, Drug use, Hate crime, Homophobia, Terminal illness, Grief, and Lesbophobia
golpesar818's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
lighthearted
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
my only critique would be the interludes and random short stories unrelated to the plot scattered throughout the book, in my opinion, didn’t do much to advance the story, so i found them a bit distracting. i loved the writing, except the parts that went into literary-academic speak territory, and at times it was too referential (and i say this because a lot of it i wasn’t familiar with!). but the humor, heat, and heartbreak, the subtle magical realism and realness, and the journey through queer history and underground was sublime. oddly, i find myself thinking of paul’s character constantly and his silent judgments of our social world.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Drug use, Homophobia, Sexual content, and Alcohol
eegray's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
mysterious
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
endless
sexy
eternal
sexy
eternal
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcohol