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jenmaysiereads's review against another edition
challenging
reflective
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? N/A
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.5
1.5 out of 5 stars
‘My Heart Underwater’ was not bad or poorly written by any means, but I surely found it boring as all hell.
The story follows Corazon 'Cory' Tagubio who is an outcast at her Catholic, all-girls school. Attending on scholarship, she keeps mostly to herself. Yet she cannot help but find herself drawn to the young, athletic, and mysterious Ms. Holden. But a crush on her favourite teacher can't harm anyone, so long as she keeps it to herself... Right?
Wrong.
When an accident leaves her dad comatose, Cory feels like Ms. Holden is the only person who really sees her. And things soon begin to spiral from there—though I won't spoil why.
When I initially picked up this book, I'd been under the assumption that 'My Heart Underwater' was going to thematically follow similar beats to stories like 'My Dark Vanessa'. While disturbed and appalled by the student-teacher relationship, I believed wholeheartedly the story of abuse perpetrated by a queer woman against another queer woman deserved to be given its moment of recognition. Yet despite the 'relationship' between Cory and Ms. Holden taking up the first half of the novel, the grooming and trauma Cory underwent at Ms. Holden's hands are never properly discussed.
While I don't think the inappropriate teacher-student relationship was romanticised by any means, further exploration of the aftermath of that relationship was something I would've liked to have seen. Corazon's rose-tinted perception of her "love" for her teacher was definitely challenged and corrected, but it just needed a little more nuance.
I think that My Heart Underwater has its merits, and I don't intend to actively denounce this book or its author. However, it definitely was one of the weaker YA queer coming-of-age novels I've read in a long, long time.
The latter third of the book was unfortunately not very interesting for me—being separated from Cory's mother and father, two of the major characters we as the audience had been introduced and become attached to, really nerfed my enjoyment. Personally, I felt as though we met Jun too late in the novel to develop a solid interest in his character. Subsequently, his arc of self-discovery and forgiveness felt rushed as a result.
Normally I enjoy slower, more character-driven books but Cory's relationships in the latter half of the novel aren't given the word count to really flourish and become engaging. There were whole chapters that I spent wishing I could see her interact with her parents again, rather than dedicating pages and pages to Cory's grandfather whom we only meet once. Moreover, I actually would've liked to have seen Cory interact with her grandfather more! Fleshing out their complex dynamic really could have lifted the second half of the narrative.
With regard to the writing; it was fine. There were a few lines that I enjoyed and thought were quite impactful but I was never blown out of the water by the prose. It was just good, which was nice.
The representation of Cory as a Filipino-American queer woman was wonderful to see. There are definitely people out there that will see themselves in Cory and her experiences. Unfortunately, though wonderful, this was not enough to carry the book for me.
Conversely, I'd like to flag that while I'm not Filipino and I can't speak to the own-voices representation I have seen some own-voice reviews raise the issue that 'My Heart Underwater' at times frames the Philippines as dangerous, bad and portrays the country through a "poverty porn" lens. I encourage you to seek out those reviews for in-depth conversations on that aspect of the novel—they're some of the top reviews for the book and don't take a lot of effort to find.
Nevertheless, despite my issues with the book overall I definitely think this is much more of a "it's not you, it's me" issue. I wouldn't dissuade people from picking this book up if they think it's something they may like, as I said, I believe this book could mean a lot to the right person. Unfortunately for me, I spent too much of this book wanting it to be over.
‘My Heart Underwater’ was not bad or poorly written by any means, but I surely found it boring as all hell.
The story follows Corazon 'Cory' Tagubio who is an outcast at her Catholic, all-girls school. Attending on scholarship, she keeps mostly to herself. Yet she cannot help but find herself drawn to the young, athletic, and mysterious Ms. Holden. But a crush on her favourite teacher can't harm anyone, so long as she keeps it to herself... Right?
Wrong.
When an accident leaves her dad comatose, Cory feels like Ms. Holden is the only person who really sees her. And things soon begin to spiral from there—though I won't spoil why.
When I initially picked up this book, I'd been under the assumption that 'My Heart Underwater' was going to thematically follow similar beats to stories like 'My Dark Vanessa'. While disturbed and appalled by the student-teacher relationship, I believed wholeheartedly the story of abuse perpetrated by a queer woman against another queer woman deserved to be given its moment of recognition. Yet despite the 'relationship' between Cory and Ms. Holden taking up the first half of the novel, the grooming and trauma Cory underwent at Ms. Holden's hands are never properly discussed.
While I don't think the inappropriate teacher-student relationship was romanticised by any means, further exploration of the aftermath of that relationship was something I would've liked to have seen. Corazon's rose-tinted perception of her "love" for her teacher was definitely challenged and corrected, but it just needed a little more nuance.
I think that My Heart Underwater has its merits, and I don't intend to actively denounce this book or its author. However, it definitely was one of the weaker YA queer coming-of-age novels I've read in a long, long time.
The latter third of the book was unfortunately not very interesting for me—being separated from Cory's mother and father, two of the major characters we as the audience had been introduced and become attached to, really nerfed my enjoyment. Personally, I felt as though we met Jun too late in the novel to develop a solid interest in his character. Subsequently, his arc of self-discovery and forgiveness felt rushed as a result.
Normally I enjoy slower, more character-driven books but Cory's relationships in the latter half of the novel aren't given the word count to really flourish and become engaging. There were whole chapters that I spent wishing I could see her interact with her parents again, rather than dedicating pages and pages to Cory's grandfather whom we only meet once. Moreover, I actually would've liked to have seen Cory interact with her grandfather more! Fleshing out their complex dynamic really could have lifted the second half of the narrative.
With regard to the writing; it was fine. There were a few lines that I enjoyed and thought were quite impactful but I was never blown out of the water by the prose. It was just good, which was nice.
The representation of Cory as a Filipino-American queer woman was wonderful to see. There are definitely people out there that will see themselves in Cory and her experiences. Unfortunately, though wonderful, this was not enough to carry the book for me.
Conversely, I'd like to flag that while I'm not Filipino and I can't speak to the own-voices representation I have seen some own-voice reviews raise the issue that 'My Heart Underwater' at times frames the Philippines as dangerous, bad and portrays the country through a "poverty porn" lens. I encourage you to seek out those reviews for in-depth conversations on that aspect of the novel—they're some of the top reviews for the book and don't take a lot of effort to find.
Nevertheless, despite my issues with the book overall I definitely think this is much more of a "it's not you, it's me" issue. I wouldn't dissuade people from picking this book up if they think it's something they may like, as I said, I believe this book could mean a lot to the right person. Unfortunately for me, I spent too much of this book wanting it to be over.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism, Sexual assault, Pedophilia, and Homophobia
Inappropriate student-teacher relationship in which the teacher actively grooms the student.
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