kathrynhmm's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
laurenmidna's review against another edition
5.0
It’s been a while since I’ve felt this strongly about a book. When I read the first page, I had to take a deep breath and read it again. The tone is so casual that it was oddly difficult to comprehend, like talking to a slightly rambling best friend who goes off and on topic mid sentence in humorous and charming ways. The casual tone was a fantastic contrast to the incredibly serious topics discussed in This Is How It Always Is.
This book was incredibly absorbing and emotional to me. I love books about families, because I have a big family too! And the family this book follows is hilarious, loud, a little bit dysfunctional and absolutely perfect. The thing that struck me the most about them, was that despite the drama and problems that arose, no one ever did anything technically wrong. Every action that people took was kind hearted, even when it was a mistake. Poppy’s parents were so incredibly supportive, making every (right and wrong) decision with her best interest at heart. It was soul warming to me. Everyone is a little bit weird, and we have to embrace that.
I don’t know what to say. I could ramble about this book for hours. I love it. I recommend it. This is a perfect example of putting yourself into someone else’s shoes for a bit of different perspective, a little bit of empathy. What parent doesn’t do the best for their kids? I think everyone should read this.
This book was incredibly absorbing and emotional to me. I love books about families, because I have a big family too! And the family this book follows is hilarious, loud, a little bit dysfunctional and absolutely perfect. The thing that struck me the most about them, was that despite the drama and problems that arose, no one ever did anything technically wrong. Every action that people took was kind hearted, even when it was a mistake. Poppy’s parents were so incredibly supportive, making every (right and wrong) decision with her best interest at heart. It was soul warming to me. Everyone is a little bit weird, and we have to embrace that.
I don’t know what to say. I could ramble about this book for hours. I love it. I recommend it. This is a perfect example of putting yourself into someone else’s shoes for a bit of different perspective, a little bit of empathy. What parent doesn’t do the best for their kids? I think everyone should read this.
literaldecolonisation's review against another edition
5.0
This Is How It Always Is was a deeply emotional read for me. It’s about a family of seven - Pen & Rosie (the parents) & their children. After 4 boys, Pen & Rosie were sure that the fifth was going to be a girl until Claude arrives. Their prediction was not far off though because Claude (now Poppy) is transgender. The book follows the family’s realisation and how they deal with it. Like any parent, they are instinctively trying to protect Poppy and decide to move from Wisconsin to Seattle to start a new life in a more accepting environment. The only difference is instead of celebrating who Poppy is, they keep it a secret and urge the rest of the family to.
“How do you teach your small human that it’s what’s inside that counts when the truth was everyone was pretty preoccupied with what you put on over the outside too?”
I was deeply engrossed in the story and found myself getting angry at many of the homophobic and transphobic comments by the Wisconsin school teachers. “Little boys don’t wear dresses” Miss Appleton tried to channel her usual patience “Little girls wear dresses, if you’re a little boy you can’t wear a dress”
It also made me think a lot about practical issues like parenting and gender stereotypes enforced by parents and society on children. I loved how Frankel decided to tackle the issue of stereotypes by setting an example in Pen, who is a writer and mainly takes care of the kids while Rosie works full-time as a doctor. I also kept thinking a lot about what I would do and how I would react if I was in this situation? Is giving the freedom of choice to a child too much? Should we as parents and adults direct them or guide them to what we think is right? Of course, no parent has all the right answer to these questions and in many cases they end up learning a lot about love and acceptance from their children. These are some of the lessons Frankel was trying to portray in her pages and I loved every single one of them!
“How do you teach your small human that it’s what’s inside that counts when the truth was everyone was pretty preoccupied with what you put on over the outside too?”
I was deeply engrossed in the story and found myself getting angry at many of the homophobic and transphobic comments by the Wisconsin school teachers. “Little boys don’t wear dresses” Miss Appleton tried to channel her usual patience “Little girls wear dresses, if you’re a little boy you can’t wear a dress”
It also made me think a lot about practical issues like parenting and gender stereotypes enforced by parents and society on children. I loved how Frankel decided to tackle the issue of stereotypes by setting an example in Pen, who is a writer and mainly takes care of the kids while Rosie works full-time as a doctor. I also kept thinking a lot about what I would do and how I would react if I was in this situation? Is giving the freedom of choice to a child too much? Should we as parents and adults direct them or guide them to what we think is right? Of course, no parent has all the right answer to these questions and in many cases they end up learning a lot about love and acceptance from their children. These are some of the lessons Frankel was trying to portray in her pages and I loved every single one of them!
daffodill37's review against another edition
4.0
(Audio)
I thought this book was really sweet. It's in between reality and a fairy tale. I love letter from the family of a trans person to other families of trans people and to the world.
It's not completely without transphobia and other ugly things but ultimately is about the most loving, concerned and supportive family one could ever ask for - trans or otherwise.
Also, I cried during many parts. It def makes you feel the feels.
I thought this book was really sweet. It's in between reality and a fairy tale. I love letter from the family of a trans person to other families of trans people and to the world.
It's not completely without transphobia and other ugly things but ultimately is about the most loving, concerned and supportive family one could ever ask for - trans or otherwise.
Also, I cried during many parts. It def makes you feel the feels.
readingwithhippos's review against another edition
4.0
Meet married couple, Penn and Rosie, who have five boys. However, their youngest child, Claude, tells them from an early age that he wants to grow up to be a girl. This book is about how Penn and Rosie try to parent Claude, who they come to call Poppy, in a way that empowers her but also protects her from the judgmental masses who balk when they see a little boy in a dress.
Because the impulse to protect your child is a natural one, right? You know from your own school experience how cruel kids (and adults, for that matter) can be, and it makes all the sense in the world that you’d want to shelter your child from suffering. But as the novel shows, Penn and Rosie’s attempts to maintain Poppy’s privacy and keep her biological gender a secret fall short. I thought both their efforts to keep Poppy’s secret and the inevitable failure of those efforts were equally realistic. As they conclude by the end of the book, maybe it’s best to help Poppy be Poppy even if it’s not easy, since being Poppy isn’t and wasn’t ever going to be easy, no matter how hard they tried to make it so.
I appreciated how the novel depicted Poppy’s brothers and how her parents’ decisions weighed on all their lives. Families with five kids have to compromise other kids’ needs for the sake of one sometimes, but Poppy’s family has to do this more than most, and nearly all their big decisions center around her and her needs. It makes sense that this would cause tension.
I have to take issue with one aspect of the book: the trip Poppy and Rosie take to Thailand. I am not a fan of “poverty tourism,” where comparatively wealthy people travel to impoverished areas and then return home armed with their little epiphanies, newly grateful for their comfort and ease. It reduces real people and their experiences to little more than a tool, a lesson for rich white people so they can feel better about themselves. Even though Rosie makes a big deal in the narration about how she loves the people and plans to go back and help out in the rural clinic, she is still coming from a very privileged place and views the people she meets as little more than vehicles for her own enlightenment. Also, the accented English spoken by the Asian characters (written by a white author) made me squirmy. I wish Rosie and Poppy could have found a way to think through their issues without using and appropriating another culture.
Ultimately, though, I thought the book succeeded at depicting both a big, loving family and what it’s like to parent a child with gender dysphoria. I learned a lot about what it feels like to be someone like Poppy, and to love someone like her. With all the bathroom bills and legalized discrimination in our country lately, it's important to remember there are real people and real lives at stake here. The book reminded me that people like Poppy have the right to exist, as their truest selves, in this country, the same way everyone else does.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
Because the impulse to protect your child is a natural one, right? You know from your own school experience how cruel kids (and adults, for that matter) can be, and it makes all the sense in the world that you’d want to shelter your child from suffering. But as the novel shows, Penn and Rosie’s attempts to maintain Poppy’s privacy and keep her biological gender a secret fall short. I thought both their efforts to keep Poppy’s secret and the inevitable failure of those efforts were equally realistic. As they conclude by the end of the book, maybe it’s best to help Poppy be Poppy even if it’s not easy, since being Poppy isn’t and wasn’t ever going to be easy, no matter how hard they tried to make it so.
I appreciated how the novel depicted Poppy’s brothers and how her parents’ decisions weighed on all their lives. Families with five kids have to compromise other kids’ needs for the sake of one sometimes, but Poppy’s family has to do this more than most, and nearly all their big decisions center around her and her needs. It makes sense that this would cause tension.
I have to take issue with one aspect of the book: the trip Poppy and Rosie take to Thailand. I am not a fan of “poverty tourism,” where comparatively wealthy people travel to impoverished areas and then return home armed with their little epiphanies, newly grateful for their comfort and ease. It reduces real people and their experiences to little more than a tool, a lesson for rich white people so they can feel better about themselves. Even though Rosie makes a big deal in the narration about how she loves the people and plans to go back and help out in the rural clinic, she is still coming from a very privileged place and views the people she meets as little more than vehicles for her own enlightenment. Also, the accented English spoken by the Asian characters (written by a white author) made me squirmy. I wish Rosie and Poppy could have found a way to think through their issues without using and appropriating another culture.
Ultimately, though, I thought the book succeeded at depicting both a big, loving family and what it’s like to parent a child with gender dysphoria. I learned a lot about what it feels like to be someone like Poppy, and to love someone like her. With all the bathroom bills and legalized discrimination in our country lately, it's important to remember there are real people and real lives at stake here. The book reminded me that people like Poppy have the right to exist, as their truest selves, in this country, the same way everyone else does.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
angelaz3221's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
estherackerman's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.5
klinbenson's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
kristen_eden's review against another edition
5.0
I understand why people love this book so much. It's sickeningly sweet and optimistic, but it was still a great read.