spacebee's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
2.0
This was a book by someone who obviously writes very well, but seems to lack some self awareness. It was extremely self important and basically when speaking on her own life, she came off as a privileged woman who doesn’t realize the amount of pretty privilege she holds. She was constantly on dates and almost brags about how easy it was for her to go on dates and she has almost always been in some sort of relationship. Instead of examining that, she just shrugs her shoulders and says “Guess I’m just social!” Ok, then maybe writing a book about spinsterhood isn’t the angle you should take?
As for her writing on the authors that inspired her, I liked those parts and thought her writing was really good, but, there’s this whole lack of queer examination of these writers that it feels like she was unwilling to even entertain the possibility that these authors may have wanted independence and what may have looked like a solitary life because they were not attracted to men or were discreetly dating women. Seems like a weird omission.
There’s a great review on The Guardian that I pretty much agree wholeheartedly with if you feel like looking for it on Google. Extremely disappointed with this book.
As for her writing on the authors that inspired her, I liked those parts and thought her writing was really good, but, there’s this whole lack of queer examination of these writers that it feels like she was unwilling to even entertain the possibility that these authors may have wanted independence and what may have looked like a solitary life because they were not attracted to men or were discreetly dating women. Seems like a weird omission.
There’s a great review on The Guardian that I pretty much agree wholeheartedly with if you feel like looking for it on Google. Extremely disappointed with this book.
sonjaloviisa's review against another edition
5.0
Never did I think I would give an autobiography five stars. However, since I feel that this book has altered the way I view my very existence, I think it more than deserves it.
Bolick’s Spinster is exactly what a biography should be. Her life is in no way glorified or turned into an instruction manual for others who want to be just like her. Instead, she places her own honest experiences into the context of history, constantly in conversation with the lives of others. As someone who generally zones out when reading about history, Bolick did a fantastic job of changing the pace at appropriate intervals, able to keep even me interested.
I cried so many times reading this book, out of pure relief. I had never before realized the mental limitations I had placed on my own future, due to what is historically expected out of women. The journey of reading this book opened my eyes to possibilities that I did not know existed. I was finally introduced to role models who feel right for me and was filled with a sense of purpose. So many of the things Bolick writes about, resonate with me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. After finishing this book, I’m filled with a sense of ease and feel a lot less alone in this world. I’m excited to dive even deeper into this wormhole of single women and spinsters!
Bolick’s Spinster is exactly what a biography should be. Her life is in no way glorified or turned into an instruction manual for others who want to be just like her. Instead, she places her own honest experiences into the context of history, constantly in conversation with the lives of others. As someone who generally zones out when reading about history, Bolick did a fantastic job of changing the pace at appropriate intervals, able to keep even me interested.
I cried so many times reading this book, out of pure relief. I had never before realized the mental limitations I had placed on my own future, due to what is historically expected out of women. The journey of reading this book opened my eyes to possibilities that I did not know existed. I was finally introduced to role models who feel right for me and was filled with a sense of purpose. So many of the things Bolick writes about, resonate with me in a way that I didn’t think was possible. After finishing this book, I’m filled with a sense of ease and feel a lot less alone in this world. I’m excited to dive even deeper into this wormhole of single women and spinsters!
earlyandalone's review against another edition
5.0
It's rare that I feel a book is speaking to me directly, but I felt that with this book, despite some feelings of petty jealousy about the author's life that distracted me at certain points. But I guess such strong feelings of envy only added to the experience of relating to the book so much.
I've always been drawn to discussions of the female experience, and most especially, the single female experience, which has been a "hot topic" as of late. What I liked about this particular foray was that Kate Bolick couches her exploration with the stories of her five "awakeners," women who strongly influenced her thinking about creativity and marriage and "making a life of one's own," but also delves rather fearlessly into her own personal experiences with dating, sex, work, and art.
I'd never heard of Maeve Brennan or Neith Boyce before reading this book, and I know plan on reading more about them. I never knew Charlotte Perkins Gilman made her life in Providence, so close to where I grew up. I didn't know that Edna St. Vincent Millay had been such a pioneer for female sexuality. And my admiration for Edith Wharton, sprung from my own solo visit to her home, The Mount, two summers ago, only grew through Bolick's empathic and generous rendering.
As someone navigating single life and the creative struggles of being a writer and editor, Bolick's own experiences spoke to me even more directly than those of her muses. Even though, in my view, Bolick has led an incredibly charmed life, both professionally and romantically, it's also clear that her road hasn't been without struggles, and I admire the honesty and openness with which she writes.
I've always been drawn to discussions of the female experience, and most especially, the single female experience, which has been a "hot topic" as of late. What I liked about this particular foray was that Kate Bolick couches her exploration with the stories of her five "awakeners," women who strongly influenced her thinking about creativity and marriage and "making a life of one's own," but also delves rather fearlessly into her own personal experiences with dating, sex, work, and art.
I'd never heard of Maeve Brennan or Neith Boyce before reading this book, and I know plan on reading more about them. I never knew Charlotte Perkins Gilman made her life in Providence, so close to where I grew up. I didn't know that Edna St. Vincent Millay had been such a pioneer for female sexuality. And my admiration for Edith Wharton, sprung from my own solo visit to her home, The Mount, two summers ago, only grew through Bolick's empathic and generous rendering.
As someone navigating single life and the creative struggles of being a writer and editor, Bolick's own experiences spoke to me even more directly than those of her muses. Even though, in my view, Bolick has led an incredibly charmed life, both professionally and romantically, it's also clear that her road hasn't been without struggles, and I admire the honesty and openness with which she writes.
sarahelem's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Very informative. I will be thinking about this one for a while
lauren_brook_books's review against another edition
informative
reflective
slow-paced
1.5
I think Kate Bolick might actually be a pen name for Rory Gilmore. And I'm specifically talking the Rory Gilmore from Logan's launch party who thinks she's Joe Bus Driver. "Spinster: Making a Life of One's Own" is entitled, over written, privileged, and holier-than-thou.
Bolick seems to think she's above everyone and everything but her beloved "Awakeners." She's above home décor (though she admits she has very strong opinions about it for someone who'd never read a decorating magazine)--until Edith Warton turned out to have a love of interior design. Then suddenly her full time, well paying, with benefits job editing a home décor magazine, wasn't just something to pay the bills while not offering "anything meaningful to the world." Bolick freely comments on the "entitlement" of the white, upper-class, Ivy League" members of the publishing industry without ever addressing her own immense privilege and entitlement. Her need to "prove" herself independent and accomplished apart from any help (though she had tons of it) is exactly the frequent attitude of the prep school and Yale educated girl dating the son of a multi-millionaire (and living rent free in his apartment) we know from Gilmore Girls.
As a self appointed spinster, I would say that Bolick gives a bad name to Spinsters everywhere. Although as it turns out, she's hardly a spinster. She's in multiple long term relationships throughout the narrative and ends the book in a long term relationship where she admits that she isn't sure whether or not they'll have kids together. Her desire to co-opt the word "Spinster" to fit whatever arbitrary definition she wants (she admits in her world, reclaiming the word spinster means applying it to any woman who wants to define herself apart from men, even if that woman is married, or happily coupled) is just another example of her entitlement and privilege. She, as a current member of the predominant class--people in romantic partnerships--wants to be able to define herself as a member of the minority group to be able to claim their sense of identity.
There were some interesting historical aspects to learning about the lives of her five "awakeners," so at least there is that.
Bolick seems to think she's above everyone and everything but her beloved "Awakeners." She's above home décor (though she admits she has very strong opinions about it for someone who'd never read a decorating magazine)--until Edith Warton turned out to have a love of interior design. Then suddenly her full time, well paying, with benefits job editing a home décor magazine, wasn't just something to pay the bills while not offering "anything meaningful to the world." Bolick freely comments on the "entitlement" of the white, upper-class, Ivy League" members of the publishing industry without ever addressing her own immense privilege and entitlement. Her need to "prove" herself independent and accomplished apart from any help (though she had tons of it) is exactly the frequent attitude of the prep school and Yale educated girl dating the son of a multi-millionaire (and living rent free in his apartment) we know from Gilmore Girls.
As a self appointed spinster, I would say that Bolick gives a bad name to Spinsters everywhere. Although as it turns out, she's hardly a spinster. She's in multiple long term relationships throughout the narrative and ends the book in a long term relationship where she admits that she isn't sure whether or not they'll have kids together. Her desire to co-opt the word "Spinster" to fit whatever arbitrary definition she wants (she admits in her world, reclaiming the word spinster means applying it to any woman who wants to define herself apart from men, even if that woman is married, or happily coupled) is just another example of her entitlement and privilege. She, as a current member of the predominant class--people in romantic partnerships--wants to be able to define herself as a member of the minority group to be able to claim their sense of identity.
There were some interesting historical aspects to learning about the lives of her five "awakeners," so at least there is that.
marmoset737's review against another edition
4.0
Not quite what I expected from initial press released on the book but I enjoyed it. Bolick combines a historical look at traditional women "spinsters" that have influenced her own approach to life with some memoir-style essays. Was more interested by the history than the personal, although I appreciated Bolick's humility in the personal essays (which could easily have overshadowed the interesting, thoughtful research and made the book all about "her" but instead were used as a plot-device, forward-moving framework for the research).
daniellebeverly's review against another edition
4.0
I underlined so many quotes from this book! Kate Bolick writes like a true journalist, using words I constantly had to look up –but I love that. I felt like I learned so much from reading this book…about the history of marriage and singleness, and it really opened my mind to think differently about what it would mean to choose a life of solitude. And how that’s a valid option –one that should not be frowned upon. A must-read for any single woman out there, trying to live out her "spinster wish."
kitkat2500's review against another edition
3.0
This is not the book I expected it to be, and judging by the reviews posted by other readers, I'm not alone!
Once I got over my disappointment, I found the book to be a curious mixture: part memoir, part feminist history (through her chapters about the lives of 5 historical feminists who inspired her, living unconventional lives that were sometimes as spinsters), and part sociology (interesting examination of society's expectations of women, and also the status of single women over the past 100 years).
I liked parts of the book, but overall it was too long. The 5 historical figures are mainly artists, and although parts of their stories were interesting, I found the narrative sometimes hard to follow. The author's own life is depicted as a series of relationships, between which she dates almost constantly. So although she self identifies as a spinster, it's hard to line up the definition with her love life. She seems to be more of a commitment phobe than a spinster. And the book ends as she starts another long-term relationship, and muses about whether or not she will have a baby...
The part I found interesting was about the history of women entering the labour force in the US, and how this movement allowed for women to achieve financial independence from men (thereby allowing a woman to live without the financial support of a father / husband).
It's also fun to read about someone pushing back at the societal tugs of conventionality and conformity.
Once I got over my disappointment, I found the book to be a curious mixture: part memoir, part feminist history (through her chapters about the lives of 5 historical feminists who inspired her, living unconventional lives that were sometimes as spinsters), and part sociology (interesting examination of society's expectations of women, and also the status of single women over the past 100 years).
I liked parts of the book, but overall it was too long. The 5 historical figures are mainly artists, and although parts of their stories were interesting, I found the narrative sometimes hard to follow. The author's own life is depicted as a series of relationships, between which she dates almost constantly. So although she self identifies as a spinster, it's hard to line up the definition with her love life. She seems to be more of a commitment phobe than a spinster. And the book ends as she starts another long-term relationship, and muses about whether or not she will have a baby...
The part I found interesting was about the history of women entering the labour force in the US, and how this movement allowed for women to achieve financial independence from men (thereby allowing a woman to live without the financial support of a father / husband).
It's also fun to read about someone pushing back at the societal tugs of conventionality and conformity.
dixiet's review against another edition
3.0
This book is full of interesting information about the author's "awakeners," five writers spanning a period from the mid-1800s to the mid-1900s, not all technically spinsters, but all feminists unimpressed with the institution of marriage. I enjoyed their biographical information but was less enchanted with the author's own story. Though technically a spinster herself, far too much of the book was given over to many tales of lovers, boyfriends, and would-be husbands. I was put off increasingly as the book went on and the author made numerous references to her addiction to dating, including the implication that a potential date waited virtually everywhere she went. I actually flipped to the back cover to see what the woman looked like who turned heads so constantly -- no photo available. In all honesty it felt a bit forced and put on -- and truly unnecessary to the story I thought she was trying to tell. I also thought it was interesting that all of her "awakeners" were sought-after by men, sometimes by women as well, and portrayed as fascinating women or beautiful women or both.
In the end, I really have no idea what she thinks about being a spinster. The story seemed frayed by the end and trailed off without ever making the grand point that I thought was surely coming, after all these stories of spinsters through the ages and the self-examination (such as it was) of her own life. I'm not sorry I read this book but I ended up disappointed, and with no greater insight into myself (a 57-year-old "spinster") than when I began.
In the end, I really have no idea what she thinks about being a spinster. The story seemed frayed by the end and trailed off without ever making the grand point that I thought was surely coming, after all these stories of spinsters through the ages and the self-examination (such as it was) of her own life. I'm not sorry I read this book but I ended up disappointed, and with no greater insight into myself (a 57-year-old "spinster") than when I began.