mayday_the_cleric's review against another edition

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The premise of this book is highly intriguing. In this memoir, Dylan Marron, a popular online figure, confronts the people who've sent him hate massages and tries to have an open dialogue with them about important, yet contentious societal problems as a way to educate them on these topics. However, even with such an exciting concept, the only thing I kept thinking to myself while reading this is: Why do I feel so bored by this?

Firstly, I can see how this book can be eye-opening for some other people, but it doesn't really say anything groundbreaking or profound for me. A mere reiteration of the same talking points and sentiments that have already been shared by many other online influencers. The writing is also kinda bland and verbose as the author says a lot of things, but he doesn’t really offer anything substantial or noteworthy. Ironically enough, even though everything was happening in real time, there’s an overreliance on ‘telling, instead of showing’ in this book which kinda jarred the readers out of the immersion and took the winds out of the sails of the story. Overall, this book could’ve had a lot of potential, but it’s still held back by a few elements for me.

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chaotic_reading's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective

5.0

 “This book tells the story of a social experiment I began a few years ago, the events that precipitated it, the mistakes I’ve made along the way, and the twelve lessons I learned throughout the process. […] You are welcome to read this book as a guide on how to navigate difficult conversations of your own, or as a distant story that happened to someone once. Take what serves you and leave what doesn’t.”

Dylan Marron, author of Conversation with People Who Hate Me, has written an incredible book full of anecdotes, thought progressions, and imagery that perfectly summarize the experience that is the internet. The way the author shares these stories of self-realization and the conversation they have with people who "hate" them are engaging and personable, weaving a narrative that takes you right to the door of the point.

At times, the conversation topics were tough to read and digest, especially about ingrained doctrine that is inevitably harmful to marginalized communities. Content warning for: homophobia, racism, xenophobia, and violence. Without minimalizing the extreme harm that these beliefs can have on marginalized communities, it felt like a small crack of light was let through with some of the interactions because Marron was open to having a "civil" conversation and broke down talking points to teaching moments, objectivity in mind. (One might whittle it down to their "faith in humanity being restored".) This kind of emotional and educational undertaking is in no way a small feat, nor should it be on the shoulders of the marginalized community to be the sole bearers of this kind of labour. Reading this collection by Marron only continued to solidify the idea that these conversations are important to be having, however everyone needs to be having them, not just those who are directly affected by the harmful beliefs.

I think this book is a good resource for personal growth in that it gives readers the equation for starting to have those difficult conversations, and I will be recommending it to my friends and family.

Thank you to NetGalley and Atria Books for providing me with an ARC of this book in return for an honest review. 

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