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allidone's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Misogyny, Panic attacks/disorders, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Vomit, Grief, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Xenophobia, and Medical trauma
Minor: Classism
bottrill's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Violence, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail
celeste_velocci's review against another edition
First off every person should read this memoir. Your daughters and your sons. I am honestly astonished by this story even though I really shouldn’t be because this is the world we live in. This poor woman was not even treated like a human being by her abuser, the court system, and many others.
A bit of a backstory is that Chanel Miller is the sexual assault victim of the Stanford rape case from a few years ago. Unfortunately you know the abusers name more than Chanel Miller the victim’s name.
Let me just say as a young woman I’ve been out with friends , boyfriends , family and I know for a fact that I have danced like an idiot in bars and tipped a few. But that does not give ANYONE the right to assault you in any way shape or form whether you are drunk , dancing like an idiot, partying hard whatever you are doing. If god forbid I was assaulted every time I was out having a care free night dancing with my friends…I can’t even begin to fathom this poor woman’s trauma. NO means NO. If you cannot verbalize consent then that should be the biggest newsflash that you are NOT consenting. Whether you had 1 drink , no drink , or 10 drinks that does not give anyone permission to do whatever they want to you especially when unconscious. And it is not your fault for drinking too much and losing control. We have all been there. My heart goes out to the ones who have suffered. Just because you decided to drink or be social does not mean you deserve to be assaulted.
This memoir made me angry. Chanel Miller is so strong and has turned her pain into power by being there for other victims and telling her story. I recommend listening to this on audio because Chanel narrates her story herself. Truly powerful.
Graphic: Physical abuse, Rape, and Sexual assault
moonstar99's review against another edition
4.5
Graphic: Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, and Grief
summerjohnson521's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Misogyny and Sexual violence
Moderate: Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Medical content, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, and Sexual harassment
fkshg8465's review against another edition
5.0
This book was both easy and hard to read. It feels so rare that women are vindicated, and that was the case here. An empty victory, but I was so proud of that California jury. We Asian women are stereotyped and taken advantage of because of those stereotypes. It’s unusual for BIPoC to get justice, to be believed, but when it’s rape, when it’s the victims who are vilified and scrutinized and intimidated and manipulated on the stand, it feels like BIPoC victims have an insurmountable agony. All that said, that damned judge - UGH!!! I feel like he violated her as much as Brock Turner. I hope they and the defense attorney and his parents share an eternal damnation where they are continuously violated and erased over and over and forevermore for legally gaslighting all women through their aggressively limp actions.
The judge being recalled was a very inadequate outcome. He needs to be tormented everyday for all the subpar sentences he’s surely meted out, because Brock was no way the first one he let off easy. As for this rapist whose sentence was pretty much a step removed from a get-out-of-jail-free card, the women in his area are holding him accountable. Still not enough, but at least his “freedom” comes with a lot of strings now - least according to Google.
Looked up Chanel in Instagram. Happy for her - happy that she’s found a way to thrive, though being an assault victim myself, I know she’ll have her haunted moments too. I wish her luck and send her lots of love.
Graphic: Body horror, Body shaming, Bullying, Emotional abuse, Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Violence, Blood, Police brutality, Medical content, Grief, Outing, Gaslighting, Alcohol, and Sexual harassment
se_wigget's review against another edition
5.0
This is an intense personal account of the author's experience after rape. It has insightful cultural commentary. Make that... shitculture commentary.
Graphic: Bullying, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Medical content, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, Sexual harassment, and Injury/Injury detail
probablypsychic's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Medical content, Grief, Medical trauma, and Injury/Injury detail
Moderate: Gun violence, Mass/school shootings, Stalking, and Alcohol
Minor: Alcoholism
ashenlar's review against another edition
5.0
An absolute must-read for every single person, but a very very difficult one - you will cry, a lot. Make sure you're looking after yourself too while reading this
Graphic: Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Violence, Grief, Medical trauma, Gaslighting, and Injury/Injury detail
silver_lining_in_a_book's review against another edition
5.0
I survived because I remained soft, because I listened, because I wrote. Because I huddled close to my truth, protected it like a tiny flame in a terrible storm. Hold up your head when the tears come, when you are mocked, insulted, questioned, threatened, when they tell you you are nothing, when your body is reduced to openings. The journey will be longer than you imagined, trauma will find you again and again. Do not become the ones who hurt you. Stay tender with your power. Never fight to injure, fight to uplift. Fight because you know that in this life, you deserve safety, joy, and freedom. Fight because it is your life. Not anyone else’s. I did it, I am here. Looking back, all the ones who doubted or hurt or nearly conquered me faded away, and I am the only one standing. So now, the time has come. I dust myself off, and go on.
This is one of the most powerful, heart-wrenching memoirs I have ever read. It took me some time to get into it, particularly due to the seemingly monotonous voice Miller used at the start of the audiobook. Only later did I figure out that this was part of the experience; as the book went along, Miller's pain, confusion and disappointment with the justice system came across more and more. She beautifully captures the fight against self-loathing and self-isolation that many experience to different degrees but very few can put into words quite like her.
I think this is not something recent survivors or people who are too empathetic or compassionate should necessarily push themselves to read. It is such an important book, but don't rush it - read it when you are ready, you won't regret waiting. Some may also find it to be hard to get through, but I would recommend pushing through, the end (which is only the beginning of a new stage of Miller's life) is worth it. Finally, another complaint might be that the book is repetitive or too graphic, but again I think that this serves a purpose. It mirrors the invasive and cyclical nature of the court system; it's dry, continuous, tedious and far too invasive for the victims.
Overall, I do not find that it would be right for me to criticise this book. It did what it was written to do and it did so lyrically, emotionally and incredibly truthfully. It cannot receive anything less than 5/5 stars.
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Gun violence, Misogyny, Rape, Sexism, Suicide, Vomit, and Mass/school shootings
Minor: Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Racism, Medical content, Grief, Alcohol, and Injury/Injury detail