Reviews with content warning for Terminal illness - Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory

Content warnings only due to the fact that the whole book is about death and our perception of it. Caitlin approaches all topics with honesty and care.

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breadbummer's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

4.5

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nikenacs's review against another edition

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funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.75

I picked this up not thinking much of it, both because I'd had a recent death in my family and because my local library was offering the e-book. And man, I'm so happy I read this. It took me a while to get into it, but when I did, I was INTO IT.

The ins and outs of the crematorium are interesting enough, but the true strength of this book is in its reflections on our society's attitude towards death. Absolutely 10/10 on that front. As someone who has had little to no contact with death in my personal life, this gave me a lot to think about.

Very US-centric, which is not a bad thing, but instead made me very curious to research how the funeral industry works in Germany, and Western Europe in general.

A tad superficial at times, oftentimes a chapter ended just when I felt like we were really getting into it. I appreciate that it combined more light-hearted personal memoir elements with philosophy and history as well as politics, but it could have been a tad more of the latter for my taste.

But all in all, I'm not being hyperbolic when I say this opened my eyes on how we treat both our dead and our dying. Will be recommending, will be checking out more of Doughty's work.

(And on a personal note, I knew I was right when I wanted to set up my testament and funeral wishes when I was in elementary school! Take that, parents.)

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angorarabbit's review against another edition

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dark funny hopeful informative lighthearted reflective sad slow-paced

3.5

Context: I have been following Ms Doughty’s YouTube channel for a few years now, it’s about time I read her first book.

This is mainly a memoir and I am not qualified to judge Ms Doughty’s life. Her writing style is bright and breezy even when talking about serious things. That is not to say that she makes light of her topics, she absolutely does not. She sounds like the type of funeral director I wish my mother had talked to when choosing the casket for my grandfather.

There has been many deaths in my life, human and non-human animals. And I have been watching the videos so the message of the book was something I was familiar with already. I can see that it would be very helpful for those who are having their first encounter with the US funeral industry.

One of my fears about death is the mess someone or other will have to clean up. I would be happy if my cats could eat not just my eyeballs but the rest of me as well, leaving a nice clean skeleton to put in some anatomy lab somewhere. While it does not seem like putting bodies in the forest for the bear, wolf, and mountain lion to consume willt be feasible (at least not legally) in the near future, I hope Ms Doughty and others will make a future in the US where loved ones are not pressured to go into debt while their grief is still fresh and where everyone can grieve as they need too.

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pandaintheshelves's review

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funny informative reflective

5.0

A girl always remembers the first corpse she shaves. It's like a virginity, your first time is awkward, you're not really sure what to do, and it's over before you know it. But with each subsequent corpse, you learn a little more, make fewer mistakes, and figure out how to find pleasure in the little things

This is one of the best first lines I've ever read 😅

If someone had told me a month ago that a non-fiction book would make me laugh and cry to the same extent, I wouldn’t have believed them.

I wish this author were my professor because she made learning about end-of-life rituals and customs fun without being disrespectful or emotionally detached.

Brace yourself, this is not for the faint of heart. It also may be particularly difficult for people who've experienced a recent loss ⚠️ Be mindful of your mental health and check the content warnings, please. That's the most important thing 🙏

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harrimyers's review against another edition

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challenging dark informative reflective medium-paced

4.25

currently placed at 4.25 but definitely could move to 4.5. a very good, concise overview of both the american death industry, but also how the western world views death in general. the formatting was brilliant and this book has taught me so much about the death industry that i either hadn’t even stopped to consider or hadn’t known at all. it was a very interesting look at how the death industry in america has directly warped people’s views of death and their relationships with their own mortality. doughty’s personal experiences are fascinating, if slightly… concerning at times. her stories from the crematorium were the most engaging part of this book and how the author links these to her past childhood experiences with death and to philosophical and cultural views of death was highly impressive. at times, the tone felt a little too… casual? but i suppose that part of this comes down to doughty’s mission to demistify death and part because this book was made to be engaging to read. however, with this in mind, there was a few instances where this casual tone did do a disservice to her argument, especially in regards to the size of the corpses and her brief dip into her run of the bdsm scene in hawaii. overall, this book was definitely thought provoking and has definitely demistifyed a lot about death for me (coming from someone who often already considers death to be an important thing to be conscious about) as well as making me stop and think very carefully about what i want to happen to me

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doriangaymer's review against another edition

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dark emotional hopeful informative inspiring lighthearted reflective fast-paced

5.0

Affectionately, we are all going to die. It is what it is. Our culture is obsessed with living and dying in equal measure. In the modern world, medicine is at once a blessing and a curse. We live longer now, and in that longevity, we have come to fear not only dying, which is natural, but death itself, which is not. Or, rather, it shouldn't be. We should be more accepting of death. See it as a friend waiting to guide us to whatever we believe the end will be. And sometimes, we need a guide in life to help guide our minds to acceptance.

This book is that guide. A sometimes dark, yet lighthearted, look at the death industry by Caitlin Doughty of "Ask a Mortician" fame. After knitting a blanket and binging all the videos on her Youtube channel, I bought this book. It will be reread in the future, and contains a wonderful list of sources for further reading on the subject.

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