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Reviews
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
choicepotatoes_20240930's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
4.0
i so badly wanted to be able give this five stars, since there were parts i found helpful enough to reference again and again. i was pretty put off by the following, however:
that said, the core discussion is a good one. i genuinely appreciated the way beattie broke down <i>how</i> to feel your feelings (a lot of therapists, books, etc, mention this is important, but never really explain how to do the thing), and i would absolutely recommend it to anyone who thinks they might need it--while making them aware of the parts i found off-putting, of course.
- the religion (referred to as spirituality, but we all know which God is being referred to)
- the insistence on utilizing a twelve step program
- the focus on specifically alcohol
that said, the core discussion is a good one. i genuinely appreciated the way beattie broke down <i>how</i> to feel your feelings (a lot of therapists, books, etc, mention this is important, but never really explain how to do the thing), and i would absolutely recommend it to anyone who thinks they might need it--while making them aware of the parts i found off-putting, of course.
aurora_because's review against another edition
2.0
DNF
I should have just closed this when the first red flag, in the preface written by the author, showed up. "I'm not an expert, what do I know?" Seems like a good question now.
I truly don't get the hype around this book, it is not good, or helpful, or based in anything remotely evidence based. In fact, the incessant references to 12 step programs, which are not backed up by any science whatsoever, should have tipped me off.
Between "oh well, trust God!" and "have you tried not letting people treat you like that?" I found the solutions and deeper insights to be sorely lacking, and even the asinine list of "characteristics of codependents," which include being both overly responsible and irresponsible, means that just about anyone can fit the definition as presented here.
This book will not present you with facts, help you find solutions, or make you feel better.
I should have just closed this when the first red flag, in the preface written by the author, showed up. "I'm not an expert, what do I know?" Seems like a good question now.
I truly don't get the hype around this book, it is not good, or helpful, or based in anything remotely evidence based. In fact, the incessant references to 12 step programs, which are not backed up by any science whatsoever, should have tipped me off.
Between "oh well, trust God!" and "have you tried not letting people treat you like that?" I found the solutions and deeper insights to be sorely lacking, and even the asinine list of "characteristics of codependents," which include being both overly responsible and irresponsible, means that just about anyone can fit the definition as presented here.
This book will not present you with facts, help you find solutions, or make you feel better.
p_t_b's review
5.0
wish i'd read this a loooong time ago. it's still nice to hear someone else name problems (or acknowledge their name-averseness) that i have experienced in my own mind and life. per ferris bueller's day off: i know what your problem is, i just wanna hear you say it. also: last name sort-of twins. codependency, says the guy who just started learning about it, will fuck you up even if you are watching and waving a butter knife at it helplessly
anyway, i'll be in the kitchen
anyway, i'll be in the kitchen
annelisegordon's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
judyfranz's review
3.0
This book could be a lifesaver for those caught in the disease of alcoholism or other addictions. Personally, it was a helpful reminder to fully care for my personal needs in order to meet the challenges that life brings.