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jedore's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
“Knowledge is a funny thing, Isaac. It informs by exposing. It shows you precisely how much you don’t know.”
I was pulled into this story from the Author’s note at the very beginning. Like the author, my father passed without ever admitting, let alone apologizing, for his major emotional shortcomings. Writing this book was a way for Daniel Black to heal the gaping wounds this leaves behind.
I don’t like to compare the pain of two different people. Pain is pain and no one deserves to have their pain diminished. But, I have to say what Isaac, the gay son who is the recipient of his father’s deathbed letters, went through is FAR worse than what I went through.
On top of a typical dysfunctional family, he has the added horrors of the impact of slavery and being black in the U.S., being gay in a subculture that considers it an abhorrence, and the lack of love, tenderness and communication when it was needed most. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to climb out of a hole that deep.
Reading the imagined letters that the reformed father wrote to Isaac was definitely a soothing salve. Many of the things he conveyed explained some of the characteristics and behaviors of my own father (and other men I know and love), so it was helpful for me personally as well.
That being said, I still find it difficult to excuse my middle class white father for his emotional neglect. A black man of the same generation is a whole other story.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with daddy issues stemming from a hyper-stern and inexpressive father born in the early to mid-1900s, as well as anyone walking the path toward anti-racism. It’s a very quick, deeply emotional, and insightful read.
Graphic: Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Slavery, Terminal illness, Grief, Death of parent, and Classism
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Bullying and Domestic abuse
hayleyvharrington's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Biphobia, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Racism, Sexism, Slavery, Terminal illness, Violence, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, and Pregnancy
Moderate: Alcoholism, Chronic illness, and Abandonment
Minor: Alcohol
stephanieswilley's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Moderate: Alcoholism, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Miscarriage, Terminal illness, Grief, Death of parent, Murder, Pregnancy, and Alcohol
laurataylor's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Animal death, Cancer, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Domestic abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Racism, Medical content, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, Alcohol, and Colonisation
ethan_bridgesgarcia's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
What a roller coaster of emotions! This book has all the feels. I don’t know how many time I had to put this book down because of the sole fact that I related so much with the son and how he was treated by his father. The amount of hardships and struggles Jacob went through not just as a man but as a Black man struggling in a world that was already made hard for him by history but to have a gay son as well.
Many of the words Jacob said to Isaac my own father/mother has said to me. I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing but the fact that many of the gay men, or supposed gay men, in this story were called “funny,” only cemented how ignorant some people can be. Upon my own liberation from the closet, my mother asked me if I was funny… and it was the single most hardest silence I’ve ever felt. But for her to dismiss my answer only hurt more. My own father didn’t speak to me for 2 weeks. But now, nearly 10 years later, I’m married, my family has an amazing relationship with me and my husband. But still I would recommend this to any parent struggling with their kid’s sexuality.
This book Daniel Black has brought forth to the world had me in a whirlwind of tears and laughter and anger. In the particular scene of a friend suffering from AIDS comes to visit Isaac but Jacob stops to inform him that his son had moved away. I ugly cried for 20 minutes. The fact that Jacob was disgusted by how the young man looked, with sores and emaciated look to him. Jacob’s only thought was that his son would never sink that low to get the “gay disease.”
This book is possibly my favorite book I’ve read all year and I will recommend it to anyone. Just make sure you have tissues. In fact, make it a crying towel. There’s a lot of tears to be shed.
Moderate: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Sexism, Slavery, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Violence, Grief, Abortion, Death of parent, Pregnancy, and Classism
hanreadin's review against another edition
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Slavery, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Police brutality, Medical content, Grief, and Abortion
kassfromtheinternet's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Moderate: Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual content, Violence, Grief, Death of parent, and Murder