Reviews with content warning for Homophobia - Hijab Butch Blues

Reviews tagging 'Homophobia'

30something_reads's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

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rainbowbookworm's review

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challenging emotional informative

5.0

Hijab Butch Blues by Lamya H. is not an easy memoir to read for many reasons. If you grew up in a household where religion or culture strictly defined gender roles and societal expectations—ones you knew you’d never meet—Lamya’s story will open old wounds that may never fully heal. It resonates deeply, bringing the pain of trying to live authentically while struggling with the fear of disappointing family back to the surface.

Lamya’s journey also includes leaving her home for a country that is less accepting of her identity, a country where she never truly feels welcomed. She’s constantly aware of how much the world marginalizes people based on their race, gender, sexuality, and religion. Moving to the U.S. doesn’t provide relief—it only brings new challenges like Islamophobia, religious profiling, and a relentless barrage of microaggressions. Lamya doesn’t hold back, showing how isolating this experience can be and how she longs for community. She’s candid about her love life, from her crushes on unavailable women to the unsatisfying dates, and eventually, to the woman she begins to build a life with.

For me, one of the most heartbreaking moments came when Lamya and her partner visit her family. They establish ground rules about avoiding affectionate behavior, ensuring her family won’t suspect they’re a couple. Her partner charms everyone, yet they can’t be open about who they are to each other. There’s the looming fear that her family, who clearly love her, might reject her if they discover this part of her identity. The idea that “there’s no homosexuality” in their country hangs over them like a dark cloud. It’s a painful reminder of the sacrifices queer individuals often make to keep their familial relationships intact.

Another part of the memoir that struck me was Lamya’s journey to remain in the U.S. legally. Her experience with the stress of navigating the immigration system resonated with a particular poignancy. I’ve read other immigrant stories, but Lamya’s description of the hoops she had to jump through hit especially hard.

One thing I truly appreciated was how unapologetically vocal Lamya is about her faith. Her connection to her religion and how she finds strength and guidance from stories in the Quran added a powerful layer to the memoir. It reminded me of Sabrina Imbler’s How Far the Light Reaches, where the author connects their experiences with marine creatures. Similarly, Lamya links key moments in her life to figures like Maryam or Musa, drawing parallels between her struggles and the lessons in her faith. Her devoutness and how she uses her queerness and outsider status to shape her worldviews stood out as one of the most compelling aspects of the memoir.

When it comes to rating this book, I’ll admit I struggled. It’s a five-star read on so many levels. However, the fact that Lamya has to remain anonymous, and that some details might be omitted to protect her identity, made me hesitate. Yet, lowering the rating for that reason feels like overlooking the reality of her constant need to protect herself, which is integral to understanding her story. So, five stars it is.

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male_soley's review against another edition

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emotional funny hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

I picked up this book to learn more about the intersection of being queer and Muslim (as a queer non-religious person in a Christianity dominated country) and I feel like my goal was accomplished and even more. I gained new insights and I felt with Kayla throughout the book. The non linearity was unexpected and left me a little bit confused at times but that doesn't change at all how much I enjoyed the book. I felt so many different emotions while reading and I'm just really glad I bought this book.

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ewitsmich's review

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emotional hopeful informative fast-paced

5.0

This book is a very personal and refreshing glimpse into a queer Muslim woman’s life. It explores the intersectionality of her race, gender, and queerness with her religion. It is structured around Islamic prophets and holy figures and how they relate to the author's life. Highly recommended for anyone who struggles with reconciling race, religion, and queerness.

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amisk23's review

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challenging emotional informative inspiring reflective fast-paced

5.0

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bookishmillennial's review against another edition

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challenging emotional funny hopeful reflective fast-paced

disclaimer: I don’t really give starred reviews. I hope my reviews provide enough information to let you know if a book is for you or not. Find me here: https://linktr.ee/bookishmillennial

I absolutely loved this memoir about reckoning with intersections of Lamya's identity (their queerness, relationship with and parallels to Islam and the Quran, her immigrant experience, being in graduate school/white academic spaces, being brave & vulnerable with friends & self-sabotaging, dating, choosing softer approaches to dialogue) and am so grateful for it.

I cried, I laughed, I raged, I wanted so badly to hug Lamya. What a gift this memoir was. My gratitude to Lamya for being brave & sharing with us - what an honor and privilege to witness part of Lamya's journey via this memoir.

Sharing some quotations that stood out to me below:

“I gather my resentment, my fury that there's nowhere in the world that's magically free of racism and Islamophobia, homophobia and transphobia. I take that burning question and channel it toward new different questions: How can I fight injustices in this place where I have community, where I'm choosing to stay? How can I build a life here that feels, rooted in my principles, even if it will never be perfect?”

“And this is why my story has to remain untold: I have everything to lose. I could lose my family's love, I could lose my love for them.”

“There are other women like me in the Quran. Women who are uninterested in men, who are born wrong, living lives that are entirely out of their control.”

“Decades later, my mother will throw out a casual remark about how easy I was as a teenager and I'll be shocked anew that she never knew, that she never even tried to know.”

“And the truth is also that l love doing these things because I love these people. But in the quiet before Manal responds, I feel confronted anew with the flip side of this way of being with other people—a way that’s based in fear of people leaving, that prevents me from asking things of people in turn.”

“I’ve learned to reframe telling people as inviting in, instead of coming out - inviting into a place of trust, a place for building - and it feels like a waste of emotional energy to tell straight people whom I don’t expect to understand my queerness, don’t intend to count on for advice or support in this area. But what I’ve been noticing about people I haven’t invited into my queerness is that it introduces a barrier between us. What do I talk to these people about? How do I share feelings and intimacies without revealing this huge part of myself? Who am I without this queerness that now pervades my life, my politics, my everything?”