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bookishmillennial's review against another edition
I absolutely loved this memoir about reckoning with intersections of Lamya's identity (their queerness, relationship with and parallels to Islam and the Quran, her immigrant experience, being in graduate school/white academic spaces, being brave & vulnerable with friends & self-sabotaging, dating, choosing softer approaches to dialogue) and am so grateful for it.
I cried, I laughed, I raged, I wanted so badly to hug Lamya. What a gift this memoir was. My gratitude to Lamya for being brave & sharing with us - what an honor and privilege to witness part of Lamya's journey via this memoir.
Sharing some quotations that stood out to me below:
“I gather my resentment, my fury that there's nowhere in the world that's magically free of racism and Islamophobia, homophobia and transphobia. I take that burning question and channel it toward new different questions: How can I fight injustices in this place where I have community, where I'm choosing to stay? How can I build a life here that feels, rooted in my principles, even if it will never be perfect?”
“And this is why my story has to remain untold: I have everything to lose. I could lose my family's love, I could lose my love for them.”
“There are other women like me in the Quran. Women who are uninterested in men, who are born wrong, living lives that are entirely out of their control.”
“Decades later, my mother will throw out a casual remark about how easy I was as a teenager and I'll be shocked anew that she never knew, that she never even tried to know.”
“And the truth is also that l love doing these things because I love these people. But in the quiet before Manal responds, I feel confronted anew with the flip side of this way of being with other people—a way that’s based in fear of people leaving, that prevents me from asking things of people in turn.”
“I’ve learned to reframe telling people as inviting in, instead of coming out - inviting into a place of trust, a place for building - and it feels like a waste of emotional energy to tell straight people whom I don’t expect to understand my queerness, don’t intend to count on for advice or support in this area. But what I’ve been noticing about people I haven’t invited into my queerness is that it introduces a barrier between us. What do I talk to these people about? How do I share feelings and intimacies without revealing this huge part of myself? Who am I without this queerness that now pervades my life, my politics, my everything?”
“...even after all of this, my saying the truth out loud is not enough to prove who I am to a world that doesn't believe me.”
Graphic: Homophobia, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Xenophobia, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Racial slurs, Religious bigotry, Colonisation, and Deportation
readandfindout's review against another edition
4.25
Themes: 4.5 stars
Perspective: 4.5 stars
Graphic: Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Self harm, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, and Lesbophobia
Moderate: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Racial slurs, Suicidal thoughts, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Religious bigotry, Abandonment, and Classism
Minor: Emotional abuse, Colonisation, and Deportation
noura's review against another edition
4.5
Graphic: Homophobia, Racism, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Racial slurs, Colonisation, and Deportation
shaun_dh's review against another edition
5.0
It’s pretty amazing that I saw so much of myself in the author—me, a cis femme Biracial Black atheist witch dyke—especially in the final chapter. It feels like that chapter could have been written for me
This book is for anyone who has felt othered, anyone who is curious about religious interpretation, anyone who is interested in differing perspectives. Anyone with an open mind. Really, I think everyone needs to read this
Minor: Child abuse, Confinement, Death, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Gun violence, Homophobia, Infertility, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Self harm, Sexism, Slavery, Suicidal thoughts, Transphobia, Xenophobia, Police brutality, Islamophobia, Dementia, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Alcohol, Colonisation, and Classism
clarkg's review against another edition
5.0
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Religious bigotry, Colonisation, and Deportation
Minor: Alcoholism, Animal death, Child abuse, Infidelity, Suicide, Alcohol, Injury/Injury detail, and Classism
fkshg8465's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Biphobia, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Outing, Colonisation, Classism, and Deportation
arayo's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Xenophobia, and Islamophobia
Moderate: Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, and Classism
Minor: Bullying, Domestic abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Colonisation, and Deportation
auteaandtales's review against another edition
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Islamophobia, Lesbophobia, and Deportation
Minor: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Genocide, Gun violence, Hate crime, Abandonment, Alcohol, Colonisation, and Classism
mbzoller's review against another edition
4.5
Moderate: Homophobia, Racism, Transphobia, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Religious bigotry, and Abandonment
Minor: Domestic abuse, Slavery, and Colonisation
torturedreadersdept's review
5.0
Graphic: Biphobia, Body horror, Bullying, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexism, Xenophobia, Islamophobia, Grief, Religious bigotry, Lesbophobia, Outing, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Dysphoria, and Classism
Minor: Ableism, Confinement, Gun violence, Hate crime, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Transphobia, Violence, Police brutality, Abandonment, Alcohol, Colonisation, and Deportation