mmingie's review
2.0
Based 9n the blurb I was expecting this to be more about the authors development. We get some of that, but mostly this just reads like a frazzled rebuttal that she's not confident enough to direct to her parents and bio mom directly.
She was clearly manipulated and her identity neglected, but as a memoir from a thoughtful writer I expected to see more cohesion and substance in the story, not just "most of the people around me made me feel bad in ways I couldn't articulate but finally I made some Black friends who I love but also won't listen to when they try to help me see how poorly I'm being treated and changes I should make then I married a white man and have a Black son the end"
It was an interesting read, but I have to hide it's been done better by someone else
She was clearly manipulated and her identity neglected, but as a memoir from a thoughtful writer I expected to see more cohesion and substance in the story, not just "most of the people around me made me feel bad in ways I couldn't articulate but finally I made some Black friends who I love but also won't listen to when they try to help me see how poorly I'm being treated and changes I should make then I married a white man and have a Black son the end"
It was an interesting read, but I have to hide it's been done better by someone else
aleag's review
It was tough to read about how she "realized" she was black....and I think there are a lot of children who grew up in similar circumstances. The unabashedly way her parents ultimately treated her as a pet or a project....and how I feel they thought she should be grateful that they chose her to raise instead of owning and accepting that she may have felt different than their intent....yall didn't do her a favor. What yall really did was a huge disservice to who she was as a black child in America AND who she would become as a black woman in America. This book made so many emotions erupt out of me.
margaretefg's review against another edition
4.0
Wow. This memoir is so raw, so revealing of the microaggressions and traumas the author experienced throughout her life in predominantly white spaces, including her adoptive family and her birth mother. I read it in a day... Couldn't put it down.
smemmott's review against another edition
3.0
I'm glad I read this for the author's direct and vivid descriptions of the ways her white family and friends (and white society) failed her as a child and young adult. Her story is illuminating. But I also found the writing uneven in places, with distracting details and a somewhat inconsistent tone.
fuguballoon's review
challenging
emotional
sad
fast-paced
4.0
Completely changed my opinion on transracial adoption from "can be fine or not, depends on the situation" to "not great, even under the best circumstances." I think I read this in two days. Very engaging read, but sad.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Racism and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Child abuse, Death of parent, and Toxic relationship
laurie_bridges's review against another edition
3.0
I would add a subtitle: surviving an incredibly dysfunctional upbringing. if you want to understand why some people need to cutoff their parents to survive and thrive - this is a prime example. her parents are incredibly self-absorbed (adoptive and birth mother) and this book could be used in counseling courses.
A lot to think about — particularly about Black children raised in white communities in the US with white parents.
A lot to think about — particularly about Black children raised in white communities in the US with white parents.
suetrav's review
2.0
I really wanted to like this book. I just could not get into it at all. So much of it felt like fiction to me. Not to discredit the author's reflection of her childhood but who on earth can remember that much detail about things. The extra embellishments seemed fictional to me and started to annoy me. I don't remember a scene with that much detail from when I was 11 (right down to the pop cans in the yard and a cars and motorcycles). The story itself was okay but this could have used a better editing job to cut down on a lot of the details that were not necessary for telling the story.