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shane_the_reading_rat's review against another edition
4.5
this will never be a story about fathers. I am, and always will be, my mother’s son.
it’s really interesting reading both this and Man Alive back-to-back, and i definitely recommend taking that approach if you have access to both books (go with Man Alive first).
im so conflicted between a 4 and a 5 for this, so 4.5 it is. i think this book is amazing, thomas page mcbee has such a strong writing style, in particular in writing memoirs. i found the sections of the book that were more about masculinity in general to be a tad weaker than the rest, but the memoir sections and how he writes fighting are easily strong enough to make up for it.
a small selection of my favorite quotes:
I was the sweat dripping off my arms, the goose bumps on my legs, the hardening of the muscles in my jaw, the light on my face, the swelling of my lip, the force of my will, the fact that I was not yet dead.
I’d face the mirror or weave between orange cones on the floor, imagining another version of myself, the man I thought I was supposed to be, the man I was fighting, the man I was. I wasn’t trying to beat him. I was trying to save him.
and finally, the final sentence (the ending that made me tear up):
I unbuttoned my shirt and faced whatever was to come, with my invented chest and arms wide-open.
arockinsamsara's review
5.0
In an opinion essay in the New York Times (6/25/2021), Thomas Page McBee wrote, "Gender, it turns out, is a language, and the more fluent I became in it, the more finding the words to express the messy humanity of myself and others like me became an urgent task..."
He wrote those words a few years after publishing this book, but it is clear upon reading this book that he has a command of languages, those of gender and also the more quotidian language of English prose, that is profound and revelatory. This book doesn't offer proclamations about what a man is or should be, it shows the journey one man took to discover the depth and strength of his masculinity. His generosity at bringing us with him on his journey is great, and this book, which is hard to put down once you pick it up, gently compels us to reassess our own identities in the world, and to discover the languages with which we can sing.
I won't say this book is perfect. For one, while he dismantles ideas of masculinity, the book still seems to suggest a binary concept of gender. While I doubt McBee subscribes to such ideas, there still is the lingering taste of it throughout. Additionally, although he does have an intersectional approach and he actively comments upon the privileges that his whiteness, and his ability to pass (which is an idea he further deconstructs, while acknowledging his body still fits the common understanding of passing), afford him, there also seems to be areas where these interstices, along with those of class and socioeconomic status, could be explored further in the multiple ways they also participate in the construction of gender and concepts of masculinity. But with that said I still stand by a five star review, because not only was the book a joy to read from a purely craft point of view, but the work he does offering new and insightful modes of exploring masculinity.
He wrote those words a few years after publishing this book, but it is clear upon reading this book that he has a command of languages, those of gender and also the more quotidian language of English prose, that is profound and revelatory. This book doesn't offer proclamations about what a man is or should be, it shows the journey one man took to discover the depth and strength of his masculinity. His generosity at bringing us with him on his journey is great, and this book, which is hard to put down once you pick it up, gently compels us to reassess our own identities in the world, and to discover the languages with which we can sing.
I won't say this book is perfect. For one, while he dismantles ideas of masculinity, the book still seems to suggest a binary concept of gender. While I doubt McBee subscribes to such ideas, there still is the lingering taste of it throughout. Additionally, although he does have an intersectional approach and he actively comments upon the privileges that his whiteness, and his ability to pass (which is an idea he further deconstructs, while acknowledging his body still fits the common understanding of passing), afford him, there also seems to be areas where these interstices, along with those of class and socioeconomic status, could be explored further in the multiple ways they also participate in the construction of gender and concepts of masculinity. But with that said I still stand by a five star review, because not only was the book a joy to read from a purely craft point of view, but the work he does offering new and insightful modes of exploring masculinity.
ratrug's review
4.0
Bits of this didn't feel like they were saying too much, but then again this is just one guy's story so all it can ever say is that.
I'm a little unclear on his overall conclusions, but I think it was more about the importance of the journey for each individual anyway
I'm a little unclear on his overall conclusions, but I think it was more about the importance of the journey for each individual anyway