fkshg8465's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I’ve never read anything like this before. It is the most loving and most self-hating book I’ve ever read. It was full of compassion and contempt. It was a point of view I’ve never considered. I’m grateful to have read it, and I think it’ll make me more mindful before I judge anyone again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Chronic illness, Death, Mental illness, Rape, Self harm, Suicide, Bullying, Grief, Medical trauma, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, and Suicidal thoughts
erica_reads_things's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
An incredibly tragic and heartbreaking read. A unique perspective of a family struggling in the aftermath of a loved one causing harm - but being genuinely remorseful. Where do we draw the line between accountability and punishment?
I wasn't a fan of Adrienne's justifications and excusing tone sometimes of her sons actions, but I can absolutely see how parents would have similar thoughts processes. It's not right, but it felt real.
All of the characters were so complex. What a read.
I wasn't a fan of Adrienne's justifications and excusing tone sometimes of her sons actions, but I can absolutely see how parents would have similar thoughts processes. It's not right, but it felt real.
All of the characters were so complex. What a read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child death, Death, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Grief, Self harm, and Pedophilia
Moderate: Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, Medical content, Mental illness, and Violence
Minor: Incest, Drug use, and Bullying
mflynn8908's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I put off reading this story for so long due to the content. This book was so sad and heartbreaking. As a mom of 5 boys I couldn’t help but think how I’d feel in this situation. As a mom when I hear cases of child SA I immediately think the perpetrator is a monster and sick and disgusting. When you hear stories of pedophiles being best or assaulted your reaction is to always think “good they deserve that after what they did to the innocent child”. It’s natural to think this way. What this book does is make you see what happens to their lives from a mom’s perspective. Yes the perp was only a child when he SA the girls, and yea he definitely knew better but the more I read the more I became sympathetic to the main character. To know that he was trying so hard to push down the urge and then the guilt that over took him once he gave in. To see him suffer over and over again only to find the peace in himself when the decision was made to end his life because he knew no one else would be hurt by his hand. Ugh my heart…
The mom had her moments where she irritated me but then again a mothers love is endless even when her child becomes something/someone she doesn’t recognize.
The dad though… I would have hit him with my car, reversed and then run his sorry ass over again.
The mom had her moments where she irritated me but then again a mothers love is endless even when her child becomes something/someone she doesn’t recognize.
The dad though… I would have hit him with my car, reversed and then run his sorry ass over again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Injury/Injury detail, Child abuse, Physical abuse, Rape, Self harm, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Child death, Death, Grief, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Suicidal thoughts, and Vomit
mpaull0720's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Rape, Pedophilia, Child abuse, Suicide, Sexual assault, and Self harm
xine_with_minimicropup's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Atmosphere: 👍
-set primarily by conversational dialogue and internal thoughts; this is done well without ever being over the top, coming across as forced for plot convenience, or as "cheesy"
-has "the-“ syndrome for setting environment ("the living room", "the table", "the bedroom"). In almost any other book I'd be annoyed with it, but it works here. The material is so dark there's no way I would want to spend time reading about the sounds, smells, and colours of their surroundings with such challenging events unfolding
-you can imagine suburban housing in a fairly small town with a temperate climate; the author won't suddenly destroy it!
Main POVs: 👍
-a married Catholic parent of two who unconditionally loves their kids, but is bordering on denial/justification sometimes. We are following this parent's reflections on the past and experiences when their adolescent son admits to molesting young girls, completes a treatment program in an institutionalized setting, and is faced with re-integration during his senior year of high school.
-an adolescent in a treatment/rehabilitation centre for young males who have committed sex crimes
Growls and Howls: 🐺
-I wish this started off with a short intro showing us the family dynamics BEFORE the events. Like starting with the family happy together at the amusement park, then jumping to the timeline written. Since I was being told the past mainly through the one parent’s POV, it made it harder for me to imagine a time when Noah was popular and likeable and close with his family.
-I got yanked out of the book a bit when they went to a public place with children everywhere and Noah’s parents, who previously were sketched out if he was so much as left alone with his younger sister were, like, totally cool with it. It seemed like the elephant in the room and out of character.
-I don’t know what the current stance is within the fields of psychology and medicine re: pedophilia, so I can’t comment on the accuracy of what is said or done within this book. I’m not particularly wanting to look any of this up myself, so I’m going to guess it’s controversial but mostly a conundrum (no real cure etc). I would have liked if there was a bit at the end of the book informing the average reader of evidence for whether or not true pedophilia exists and treatment outlooks IRL.
Show'n'Tell: 🥺
Mostly tell, but shows where it counts. Uh, no crayons for this one folks, class is cancelled.
Reading Journey: 🥴
You have a truck so you agree to an afternoon helping someone move and quickly realize it's a whole sad thing. If you complete the task, you are def skipping the beer and pizza to get outta there asap.
Good match if you like:
-dark but thought-provoking nature-vs-nurture tropes
-one twist at the end (I didn't see it coming) that makes you want to re-read some parts
-short, to the point, hard-hitting drama
-family and parenting struggles
-social issues commentary
Vibes: 🫢😢😮💨
Format: Kindle Unlimited
-set primarily by conversational dialogue and internal thoughts; this is done well without ever being over the top, coming across as forced for plot convenience, or as "cheesy"
-has "the-“ syndrome for setting environment ("the living room", "the table", "the bedroom"). In almost any other book I'd be annoyed with it, but it works here. The material is so dark there's no way I would want to spend time reading about the sounds, smells, and colours of their surroundings with such challenging events unfolding
-you can imagine suburban housing in a fairly small town with a temperate climate; the author won't suddenly destroy it!
Main POVs: 👍
-a married Catholic parent of two who unconditionally loves their kids, but is bordering on denial/justification sometimes. We are following this parent's reflections on the past and experiences when their adolescent son admits to molesting young girls, completes a treatment program in an institutionalized setting, and is faced with re-integration during his senior year of high school.
-an adolescent in a treatment/rehabilitation centre for young males who have committed sex crimes
Growls and Howls: 🐺
-I wish this started off with a short intro showing us the family dynamics BEFORE the events. Like starting with the family happy together at the amusement park, then jumping to the timeline written. Since I was being told the past mainly through the one parent’s POV, it made it harder for me to imagine a time when Noah was popular and likeable and close with his family.
-I got yanked out of the book a bit when they went to a public place with children everywhere and Noah’s parents, who previously were sketched out if he was so much as left alone with his younger sister were, like, totally cool with it. It seemed like the elephant in the room and out of character.
-I don’t know what the current stance is within the fields of psychology and medicine re: pedophilia, so I can’t comment on the accuracy of what is said or done within this book. I’m not particularly wanting to look any of this up myself, so I’m going to guess it’s controversial but mostly a conundrum (no real cure etc). I would have liked if there was a bit at the end of the book informing the average reader of evidence for whether or not true pedophilia exists and treatment outlooks IRL.
Show'n'Tell: 🥺
Mostly tell, but shows where it counts. Uh, no crayons for this one folks, class is cancelled.
Reading Journey: 🥴
You have a truck so you agree to an afternoon helping someone move and quickly realize it's a whole sad thing. If you complete the task, you are def skipping the beer and pizza to get outta there asap.
Good match if you like:
-dark but thought-provoking nature-vs-nurture tropes
-one twist at the end (I didn't see it coming) that makes you want to re-read some parts
-short, to the point, hard-hitting drama
-family and parenting struggles
-social issues commentary
Vibes: 🫢😢😮💨
Format: Kindle Unlimited
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Self harm, Bullying, Child death, and Death
Moderate: Vomit, Forced institutionalization, Rape, and Pedophilia
Minor: Incest
I don't think this book is automatically a nope for anyone who has survived someone (or has a family member) like Noah; I think for some it may offer some healing, perspective, and understanding, but could also be very derailing, rage-inducing, and come across as too sympathetic to the abuser. Here are some considerations with mild spoilers if you'd like to know first: How main incidents are describedSpoiler
the molestation isn't described in great detail but is mentioned and includes the perspective of Noah using children's curiosity about the body to encourage the touching. There is no penetration.Spoiler
incidents of incest are mentioned briefly in the context of noting who in the treatment centre had committed it. Noah is not experiencing incestuous thoughts and doesn't commit any acts of incest.Spoiler
One parent is very accepting and wants to understand Noah; they sometimes verges on the edge of being dismissive "he didn't actually HURT them or mean to" type thoughts. The other parent is very rejecting and resentful of Noah and wants to pay him off to go across the country and never contact the family again...which would essentially give him free rein and resources to hurt girls there w/o accountability so...yeah. We see that this parent has issues later on too.Spoiler
Noah is diagnosed as a true pedophile (rare but incurably attracted to children). I don't know if the subject matter, diagnosis, or treatment options are realistic, but essentially there's not much hope for any positive outcomes for him in the future if left in society. The psychiatrist seems excited to try to treat him further but also like, a little too okay in my opinion with the idea that he can't control or stop these urges even with modern medicine and castration options.Spoiler
there are male rape scenes in the treatment centre, and Noah is raped with a baseball bat at one pointSpoiler
suicide is romanticized a bit where a parent helps Noah plan and go through with it, but it’s under the guise of love and how he has no other options. Controversial for sure, and could be a lot for anyone who loves someone who is/was suicidal or anyone who struggles with suicidal thoughts particularly if they arise from shame/lack of hope for the futuresmixter88's review against another edition
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Let me start by saying you 100% need to check for trigger warnings. Honestly, if you just read what the book is about, you'll immediately know at least one of them, but there are several severe ones. I have this really bad habit of not reading what a book is about, and just reading it because it's a thriller or its been recommended a lot. That's what happened here. With that said, I know this is marked as a psychological thriller. It's absolutely not. This book made me feel like I was going to vomit multiple times. It's a heavy read. The things in this book are horrific. I can honestly say I don't recommend this book. They are not just mentioned here and there, it's the entire book. That being said, I'll get into why I gave it a five star. Lucinda Berry's writing is beautiful. The emotions she wants you to feel, you do.
Disgust ✔️
Saddness ✔️
Happiness ❌️ *because it doesn't exist here*
Rage ✔️
Empathy for certain people ✔️
Hatred ✔️
Love ❌️ *again didn't exist*
Depressed ✔️
See the pattern?
You see this book from the mothers perspective, and her literally trying to save her son, only to realize...
I hated and I do mean hated the ending for many reasons. Again, I don't think I was ever meant to like it. I'm honestly confused as to why this book exists. And why the f*ck did I not read what it was about? I would have NEVER read this book. I'll learn my lesson eventually.
Disgust ✔️
Saddness ✔️
Happiness ❌️ *because it doesn't exist here*
Rage ✔️
Empathy for certain people ✔️
Hatred ✔️
Love ❌️ *again didn't exist*
Depressed ✔️
See the pattern?
You see this book from the mothers perspective, and her literally trying to save her son, only to realize...
I hated and I do mean hated the ending for many reasons. Again, I don't think I was ever meant to like it. I'm honestly confused as to why this book exists. And why the f*ck did I not read what it was about? I would have NEVER read this book. I'll learn my lesson eventually.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Death, Grief, Mental illness, Pedophilia, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Sexual violence, Suicidal thoughts, Adult/minor relationship, Child death, Drug use, Vomit, Emotional abuse, Self harm, and Sexual assault
ainrosle's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
This book made me a mess. I'm warning you that if you do decide to pick this book up, just be prepared to be an emotional wreck right after, with a tissue box next to you & a blotchy face.
There is NO WAY, just absolutely ZERO chances you can get through this book WITHOUT crying. It is dark, emotional, and deep. I don't think I can ever move on from this book.
There's also something SO amazing about her writing I can connect with emotionally and she writes with such great empathy. The story, the message and the characters are so well ingrained in my brain and it all felt so raw... and real. This book is a masterpiece. I'm pissed that I don't see that many people talk about it. This is the type of book that should be sold on shelves, in everyone homes.
Beautiful piece of work. Lucinda berry did it again.
There is NO WAY, just absolutely ZERO chances you can get through this book WITHOUT crying. It is dark, emotional, and deep. I don't think I can ever move on from this book.
There's also something SO amazing about her writing I can connect with emotionally and she writes with such great empathy. The story, the message and the characters are so well ingrained in my brain and it all felt so raw... and real. This book is a masterpiece. I'm pissed that I don't see that many people talk about it. This is the type of book that should be sold on shelves, in everyone homes.
Beautiful piece of work. Lucinda berry did it again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Suicide attempt, Grief, Pedophilia, Rape, Sexual assault, Adult/minor relationship, and Self harm
goodgollymissmollee's review against another edition
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
4.5
Oh. My. Gosh. This book HURT.
I felt extremely conflicted and it really made me think what would I do if I were in Noah’s mom’s position? The answer is that I don’t know. All I know is that this book truly broke my heart.
I felt extremely conflicted and it really made me think what would I do if I were in Noah’s mom’s position? The answer is that I don’t know. All I know is that this book truly broke my heart.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Suicide, Suicide attempt, Pedophilia, Sexual assault, Child abuse, Medical trauma, Mental illness, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Grief, Injury/Injury detail, Vomit, and Panic attacks/disorders
kfreadsabook's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Self harm, and Suicide
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