Reviews with content warning for Self harm - Meredith, yksin

This is a book full of acceptance and empathy for people dealing with trauma, neglect, abuse, and mental disorders. It follows Meredith, a kind-hearted, reserved woman who suffers from panic attacks and severe depressive episodes when she attempts to leave her house. She has been home for over three years, with a careful routine, an online job, an orange cat, and many indoor hobbies to keep her company. In this novel, Meredith tries to grow human connections, to cope with her personal history—told through flashback memories every few chapters—and to go outside.

The writing reminded me Nina LaCour, with its gentle movement through memory and its aftermath. Though Watch Over Me and We Are Okay, the most similar novels to this one, are both centred around characters 20+ years younger than Alexander’s protagonist, the voices had commonalities: a sense of small wonders, isolation, low self-esteem and a lot of self-blame, kindness and brokenness and pride in small achievements. Part of this is how the titular character here is treated, but the youthful is also a little odd, and I sometimes forgot she had 40 years of life within her.

A couple parts come together too easily, and others are belaboured, which lessens my overall rating. Fiona is a tangled character with a complex relationship to her sister, so it’s inevitably messy , but I think the depiction could’ve been stronger. And I don’t think either trendy pop version of the cover fits the book well! I did enjoy Meredith and her support network though. I liked the jigsaw puzzles and baking, the lack of judgment on age or any sort of expected landmark; I feel that depression and its most difficult effects are represented well in these pages.

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challenging emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? No
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Thanks to Libro.fm and the publisher for providing me with a free audio copy!

Rating: 4/5 stars

Meredith has not left her house for over three years, but slowly begins to make progress on the journey to healing with the help of her friends.

This is extremely character-driven literary fiction, and I’m glad I read it on audio because that is usually my preferred format for that genre! I expected a meditation on mental health, and instead got one on friendship, sisterhood, and trauma…which is fine, but not exactly what the synopsis seems to suggest. That said, I found the characters really enjoyable, and Meredith’s journey was super poignant and beautiful. I was a bit frustrated because I kept wanting *more* from the book (though exactly what I can’t articulate)…but would still recommend to lit fic lovers in the mood for some very deep topics!

CW: Self harm; sexual assault; physical and emotional abuse; mental health/trauma generally

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