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Different, Not Less: A Neurodivergent's Guide to Embracing Your True Self and Finding Your Happily Ever After by Chloé Hayden
53 reviews
arwenundomiel03's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.5
This was a very interesting and informative read, and a different (although in some respects similar) account and view point to Emily Katie’s. Chloé’s honestly and openness about being autistic really shines through and is what makes this book so successful. She offers information and advice whilst acknowledging that hers is just one viewpoint and that there are many others in the world, and that everyone’s experience will be different. I really loved how she included trigger/content warnings in her writing for elements which could be difficult or detrimental for some people to read about. It’s clear that she has really thought about the book’s accessibility and audience, which i think is amazing and sets a positive precedent for books in the future.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Bullying, Eating disorder, Sexual assault, Suicide, and Violence
clovetra's review against another edition
challenging
dark
informative
sad
slow-paced
2.0
i need to preface this entire review by saying i love chloe hayden!!! ive been following her online since 2020, and i adore what shes done for the autistic community & in general her attitude to life!!! i also need to note that i am also autistic, so my experience reading this book may be vastly different to someone neurotypical reading this book, but obv i don't speak for other autistics' opinion on this book.
now, i wish i could say i liked this more.
2 stars seems incredibly harsh but it feels a bit wrong for me to bump it up a star as i didn't enjoy reading this if im honest, it began to feel like a chore. and i think that might be due to the fact im autistic.
i found this book to be quite educational, and honestly, this is my bad but i thought this was moreso a memoir rather than a self-help book, so my expectations were shot going into this ill admit. but i don't know hearing about how shit my life and the lives of other autistics' are was upsetting! i don't say this as a bad thing, i say this purely to explain my rating.
i think this was a beautiful book and honestly i would recommend this to everyone i know ever. but, for me it was not a good fit, a) because i know a lot about autism simply because psychology is my special interest, and b) it made me feel bad for myself? i don't doubt this was NOT hayden's intention, but seeing her succeed in life kinda idk.... made me sad i didn't get any support for my autism as a kid! sure maybe i masked too much so i fell through the cracks, but i kind of felt like "oh, this is what my life could've been like if i got support! yeah sure i'd still be autistic but hey at least i would be able to cope better and idk experience more of life" whilst reading this. i wouldn't even call it jealousy or envy, i would say it was eye-opening in ways i wish it wasn't.
this review is nothing negative on hayden's book. i love chloe and she could do (almost) no wrong in my eyes. she is my aspiration in life. but i don't know this book put a lot in perspective for me that kind of made me depressed.
also, this is solely because im a dumbass, but i went in expecting more memoir aspects, and i was disappointed it was more a self-help book. like when chloe was talking about her experience at the titanic museums i was enjoying it quite a lot! i think the self-help aspect caused a lot of introspection i wasn't ready and looking for, which i think is the whole reason my enjoyment level was so low.
yet again i do like this book i just didn't have a good time </3
chloe hayden if you somehow see this i did love this book i am so sorry
now, i wish i could say i liked this more.
2 stars seems incredibly harsh but it feels a bit wrong for me to bump it up a star as i didn't enjoy reading this if im honest, it began to feel like a chore. and i think that might be due to the fact im autistic.
i found this book to be quite educational, and honestly, this is my bad but i thought this was moreso a memoir rather than a self-help book, so my expectations were shot going into this ill admit. but i don't know hearing about how shit my life and the lives of other autistics' are was upsetting! i don't say this as a bad thing, i say this purely to explain my rating.
i think this was a beautiful book and honestly i would recommend this to everyone i know ever. but, for me it was not a good fit, a) because i know a lot about autism simply because psychology is my special interest, and b) it made me feel bad for myself? i don't doubt this was NOT hayden's intention, but seeing her succeed in life kinda idk.... made me sad i didn't get any support for my autism as a kid! sure maybe i masked too much so i fell through the cracks, but i kind of felt like "oh, this is what my life could've been like if i got support! yeah sure i'd still be autistic but hey at least i would be able to cope better and idk experience more of life" whilst reading this. i wouldn't even call it jealousy or envy, i would say it was eye-opening in ways i wish it wasn't.
this review is nothing negative on hayden's book. i love chloe and she could do (almost) no wrong in my eyes. she is my aspiration in life. but i don't know this book put a lot in perspective for me that kind of made me depressed.
also, this is solely because im a dumbass, but i went in expecting more memoir aspects, and i was disappointed it was more a self-help book. like when chloe was talking about her experience at the titanic museums i was enjoying it quite a lot! i think the self-help aspect caused a lot of introspection i wasn't ready and looking for, which i think is the whole reason my enjoyment level was so low.
yet again i do like this book i just didn't have a good time </3
chloe hayden if you somehow see this i did love this book i am so sorry
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism and Bullying
Moderate: Child abuse, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Medical content
Minor: Eating disorder
fatfrog's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
sad
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Chronic illness, Eating disorder, and Mental illness
Minor: Sexual assault
melsage1823's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
fast-paced
5.0
Disclaimer: This is an own voices review from an Autistic person. Please read reviews from other Neurodivergent folk as I don't represent the community as a whole.
An Emotional And Uplifting Memoir That Perfectly Balances It's Two Main Target Audiences Without Feeling Cluncky.
As an Autistic person this book absolutely warmed my heart and gave me alot of comfort. Its a book I wish I could have handed to Younger Mel to comfort them. This book is not only full of incredible tips and reassurances for newly diagnosed Neurodivergent folk but also an informative novel that can help Neurotypical people get inside the head of a Neurodivergent person and understand the struggles of living in a world that shuns difference. I'm impressed how Chloé manages to incoperate her own experiences whilst also giving important statistics and tips.
I really liked this novel and didn't find anything that put me off. The only thing I would criticise is the structure. I wish that instead of having the quotes in the middle of certain sections that they were put at the end. The quotes were very necessary but I think they were very off putting and distracting in the middle of a paragraph giving important tips. It also didn't help that the audiobook excluded reading the quotes. That's my only criticism. For a book about accepting everyone it should be more inclusive of dyslexic readers and not make things so confusing. Despite that it didn't take away from my enjoyment.
Now onto the strengths of this Self-Help Memoir. I really enjoyed the fact that the pages were spilled with Chloés personality and that the advice she has was given in a way meaningful to her. I've read many reviews criticising the Disney and Fairy Tale metaphors but without them I think the Memoir would be fairly average. As an Autistic person I love to give random metaphors especially metaphors linked through my special interests. I think Chloé using her special intrests of Disney and Fairytales too describe how Neurodivergent people can accept themselves, takes the reader on a journey in a way that's comfortable for Chloé. The best self-help novels and memoirs add personality to keep the reader engaged and its done perfectly here.
Secondly I have to praise the incredible balancing of its two target readers. This novel knows what it wants to be and what it's overall purpose is and I find that very good. It wants to show Neurodivergent readers that being different is nothing to be ashamed of and also show Neurotypical readers the harms of Shunning difference and how to be a better ally to Neurodivergent folks. Despite having two very clear audiences the novel doesn't feel overcrowded and jam-packed. I also thought whilst reading that both target readers can get something out of the novel and learn something new. Every chapter is structured in a way that makes sure both readers are included and it's very good. I'm generally glad there's a novel out there from an Autistic Person that can help Allistic folk understand one perspective on what it's like to be Autistic and outcasted because of it.
Finally I also have to praise the inclusivity. As mentioned in the previous paragraph Chloé is really good at reaching her target readers. Another way she does this well is by having trigger warnings. Most of the times people like to tell their story without considering what parts might be triggering for people and as a result it makes the book very overwhelming but Chloé makes sure to highlight all the sections that might be distressing and too stressful for people. It's also inclusive in the way that she breaks down the key parts of her story so that it's not too overwhelming for people and hard to read. Throughout every page of this novel you can tell she has her readers accessibly and comfortablity in mind.
Overall wether Neurodivergent or Neurotypical I would highly recommend picking up this novel. Through Chloés telling her own story and sharing important tips, you'll truly be able to understand that different does not indeed mean less.
An Emotional And Uplifting Memoir That Perfectly Balances It's Two Main Target Audiences Without Feeling Cluncky.
As an Autistic person this book absolutely warmed my heart and gave me alot of comfort. Its a book I wish I could have handed to Younger Mel to comfort them. This book is not only full of incredible tips and reassurances for newly diagnosed Neurodivergent folk but also an informative novel that can help Neurotypical people get inside the head of a Neurodivergent person and understand the struggles of living in a world that shuns difference. I'm impressed how Chloé manages to incoperate her own experiences whilst also giving important statistics and tips.
I really liked this novel and didn't find anything that put me off. The only thing I would criticise is the structure. I wish that instead of having the quotes in the middle of certain sections that they were put at the end. The quotes were very necessary but I think they were very off putting and distracting in the middle of a paragraph giving important tips. It also didn't help that the audiobook excluded reading the quotes. That's my only criticism. For a book about accepting everyone it should be more inclusive of dyslexic readers and not make things so confusing. Despite that it didn't take away from my enjoyment.
Now onto the strengths of this Self-Help Memoir. I really enjoyed the fact that the pages were spilled with Chloés personality and that the advice she has was given in a way meaningful to her. I've read many reviews criticising the Disney and Fairy Tale metaphors but without them I think the Memoir would be fairly average. As an Autistic person I love to give random metaphors especially metaphors linked through my special interests. I think Chloé using her special intrests of Disney and Fairytales too describe how Neurodivergent people can accept themselves, takes the reader on a journey in a way that's comfortable for Chloé. The best self-help novels and memoirs add personality to keep the reader engaged and its done perfectly here.
Secondly I have to praise the incredible balancing of its two target readers. This novel knows what it wants to be and what it's overall purpose is and I find that very good. It wants to show Neurodivergent readers that being different is nothing to be ashamed of and also show Neurotypical readers the harms of Shunning difference and how to be a better ally to Neurodivergent folks. Despite having two very clear audiences the novel doesn't feel overcrowded and jam-packed. I also thought whilst reading that both target readers can get something out of the novel and learn something new. Every chapter is structured in a way that makes sure both readers are included and it's very good. I'm generally glad there's a novel out there from an Autistic Person that can help Allistic folk understand one perspective on what it's like to be Autistic and outcasted because of it.
Finally I also have to praise the inclusivity. As mentioned in the previous paragraph Chloé is really good at reaching her target readers. Another way she does this well is by having trigger warnings. Most of the times people like to tell their story without considering what parts might be triggering for people and as a result it makes the book very overwhelming but Chloé makes sure to highlight all the sections that might be distressing and too stressful for people. It's also inclusive in the way that she breaks down the key parts of her story so that it's not too overwhelming for people and hard to read. Throughout every page of this novel you can tell she has her readers accessibly and comfortablity in mind.
Overall wether Neurodivergent or Neurotypical I would highly recommend picking up this novel. Through Chloés telling her own story and sharing important tips, you'll truly be able to understand that different does not indeed mean less.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism and Toxic friendship
Minor: Eating disorder, Sexual assault, Medical content, and Medical trauma
There's alot of ableist discrimination that Chloé recounts which might be triggering and upsetting for you if you as an Autistic person have experienced discrimination too. Look after yourself and be aware.em_of_swags's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
4.75
informative, yet empowering
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Body shaming, Bullying, Eating disorder, Mental illness, and Sexual assault
Minor: Body shaming, Medical content, Religious bigotry, and Toxic friendship
autisticwhimsydreamgirl's review against another edition
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
medium-paced
5.0
I adore this book. I want everyone in my life to read it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Eating disorder, Pedophilia, and Sexual assault
anjh's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
sad
medium-paced
5.0
if only i’d read this book when i was a child or teenager who was autistic but just didn’t know it yet because of the stupid stereotypical ableist portrayal of autism in the media - usually as highly unempathetic straight white men who have special interests in science, maths and trains (a bit of a generalisation, but the media portrayal of autism still has a long way to go).
chloé hayden is so welcoming, accepting and calming and her writing is exactly the same with the addition of humour. this book is both informative from a general perspective and individual perspective with UP TO DATE statistics and information written from an autistic/ADHD perspective, by an autistic/ADHD author and it isn’t often you find something like that. there were so many parts in this that i could relate to and made me feel so seen and heard.
this book really puts the idea out that whatever you’re into, whoever you are, whatever your story is, you matter just as much as anyone else and you are loved just as much as anyone else and any unique parts of your identity (i.e., seemingly “obscure” interests, etc) are nothing to be ashamed of and nothing short of something that makes you human and that is beautiful.
i love you chloé.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Death, Eating disorder, and Mental illness
Moderate: Ableism, Bullying, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual assault, Medical content, and Sexual harassment
Minor: Chronic illness and Suicidal thoughts
poisoned_icecream's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
4.5
This is a wonderfully written book that celebrates neurodiversity. Chloé Hayden does an excellent job at explaining how neurodivergent, and disabled people in general, need accessibility and a supportive community in order to thrive. Some of the information is not new to me, such as the fact that "Asperger's syndrome" is outdated and problematic, as well as how functioning labels are not helpful at all. The Disney references didn't me interest me that much, but that is Chloé Hayden's special interest, so it's fine that she mentions her favorite Disney films. When it comes to the subject of neurodivergence, books (and any kind of media) written by neurodivergent people will always be more important and accurate than anything written by neurotypical/allistic "experts."
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Eating disorder, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Animal cruelty and Sexual assault
6tabsopen's review against another edition
funny
hopeful
inspiring
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Minor: Sexual assault
alex1's review against another edition
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Bullying, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Sexual assault, Suicide, Vomit, and Gaslighting